Like the deserts miss the rain.

So Ive been pretty MIA for a while. Maybe Im getting that senior bandster syndrome, where RL is just to packed with "I'm not fat anymore" goodness. Nope I don't think so.

The truth is that I was at a plateau and have been struggling with eating well and exercise. I have been getting to the gym less often, much to my chagrin. Lately the source of gym dodging has been my mysterious neck/back muscle pain or lack of transportation.

I have to fully disclose that I am EXTREMELY hard on myself and even the most valid of reasons feel like excuses to me. I know that exercising while injured or unwell is a HUGE no no. But I still beat myself up about not exercising. There, I said it. So please understand where this comes from.

I am at the point where I am ready to see my PCP about the back pain. Being a recovering hypochondriac, Ive had this issue before and I know he is just going to give me muscle relaxants. Which I will not take. So goes the cycle. No amount of stretching or hot showers seem to help and I even wake up stiffer than when I went to sleep.

Oh and I got an adjustment on Monday. NP took out .5ccs under flouro. Apparently I was too tight. I didn't feel too tight but the flouro doesn't lie. The unfill is slightly annoying because I saw the next fill as the beginning of the end of this journey. However, I feel more relieved than anything that nothing is wrong with my band, I tend to worry. Even more, I feel like this slight unfill is the push I need to kick this thing into high gear because I refuse to gain weight. Furthermore I intend to lose the rest of this darned weight regardless of what level fill I have in my band.

My goal is to lose 25lbs by summer. IDK how Im gonna do it and I am trying not to get discouraged.