Not the ending I thought.

[thisbouquet 2]

My journey started all the way back in the summer of 2015. I have been overweight and/or "morbidly obese" almost all of my adult life, and no matter what I did, the numbers on the scale crept up and up. I have PCOS and insulin resistance, both of which make it extremely difficult to lose weight. Then I noticed my cousin on Facebook - she had lost tons of weight in a rather short time. I asked her what her secret was and she confided that she had had WLS. I started checking around, got in touch with the doctor that my insurance covered, etc. Did seven months of supervised diet, jumped through hoops and everything, and then I finally got my approval letter. This procedure was going to change my life, I was sure of it.

See, as I got bigger, I started having mobility issues. I had a BMI of 40, size 20/22, borderline diabetic had turned into actual diabetic, I couldn't use regular shoes because of problems with my feet. I started to feel trapped inside of my body. There was so much I wanted to do, but I couldn't do it because of the excess weight. I made plans - my husband and I really want to have another baby, but I can't do it at my current weight. Because of the PCOS, I really needed to lose weight to increase my fertility. I also wanted to take our kids to Disney for the first time, which is something that I can't do now because A) I can't fit in the seats, and B I can't physically do all the walking. VSG was the answer to all these problems. My doctor told me that I would probably be down to goal weight during the first year, so I would be okay to start trying for a baby by 12 months instead of 18.

I had a large hiatal hernia they were going to repair in addition to the sleeve. It was actually a re-repair, since I had HH repair when I was about 20. I got my surgery date, did the nutrition classes, did the liquid diet, basically exactly what they told me to do, and then it was the day for my surgery! I was nervous, mostly about my hair falling out, but I was excited. Everything moved along, and then it was time for the surgery. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them in the recovery room, I heard the nurse telling someone on the phone that they didn't do the sleeve. I asked her what happened, and she said that when he got inside I had a large hernia with my stomach up in my chest and a lot of abdominal adhesions. She said the surgery had taken a long time and that he hadn't been able to do the sleeve.

Eventually, the doctor came by on rounds and told me that my stomach and my esophagus had partially fused from the last hernia repair and that he couldn't tell what was what, so he repaired the hernia as best he could, but that he wouldn't be able to ever do the sleeve, and he said that no doctor would be able to do it.

So now I am here, in this really dark place. I don't see any light in this tunnel. I feel like I have lost everything, and that the rest of my life, instead of being filled with opportunities to do things that my current body won't allow, is going to be filled with disappointment. I feel like I lost the chance at having a baby, and that I will forever be trapped in this body, stuck and incapable of doing the things I want to do. My husband keeps telling me that it will be okay that we will work out together and do it the old fashioned way. But I just sat through months of being told that it is almost impossible to lose weight and keep it off without some form of WLS. I want to give up. I want to go to bed and never get out of it again.

Sorry this is so depressing, but I don't have anyone in my life who can really understand the depth of this disappointment.

[Babbs 14,680]

Get a second, third and fourth opinion.

I'm sure there's a surgeon out there that can figure out a way to perform either a sleeve or a bypass. Don't give up! And don't take that one surgeons word as the final say! I'm rooting for you!

[sc101071 398]

The only thing you will probably welcome me saying is that I am so sorry about what you have been through. I couldn't imagine waking up to that. I had scared myself silly over the liver shrinking and the possibility of waking up without having the surgery completed.

That said, you're just over the typical BMI for insurance approval. No one here would suggest that it will be easy, or we wouldn't be getting surgery to overcome our weight problems, but you really aren't so far gone that you cannot lose the weight on your own.

I know that wanting to add to the family is a very strong motivator. I know that wanting to reduce the daily pains of being heavy is a strong motivator.

It all still comes down to calories in vs. calories out. Heal up and get on with it. None of this is for nothing. Best of luck.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

he wouldn't be able to ever do the sleeve, and no doctor would be able to do it.

@@thisbouquet

welcome, welcome, welcome

problems, problems, problems

what a way to join this group

we're glad you are here

sorry you came out of surgery being told you didn't have sleeve

can't even imagine how disappointing and upsetting that was

doc said no sleeve

does that mean NO other WLS could be done? (ie gastric bypass, RNY)

you've gone through this process for over a year

most everyone on the board will say that too

WLS is worth waiting for

continue to talk to your doc about different surgeries

talk to another dr too

get a 2nd opinion

hope things work out sooner than later

good luck

kathy

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I am very sorry you worked at this so hard and didn't get the outcome you wanted.

I belong to a lot of Keto groups, which is how I eat currently post-op.

I have a Facebook friend that lost 250 pounds on keto, has kept it off and had their excess skin removed.

Lots of women see PCOS improvements. Look into it, do your research. It is a way of life though, not a diet. You can't think of it as a temporary solution but a way of eating. There is a lot of scientific research, so just make sure you do your research.

Even with the sleeve, I kept gaining and losing the same 3 pounds for weeks until I went back to strict keto. It works if you follow it and you like it.

Edited October 25, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@thisbouquet I agree with @@Babbs - get a second or third opinion. Don't give up! If surgery is not an option - see what else you can do to lose weight. Use all the tools you learned in preparing for the sleeve to change your eating habits. I can only imagine how disappointed you are but please don't let this defeat you. Stay strong!

[drudley 1]

My condolences over the feelings of loss you are experiencing, so many expectations that you feel slipping away. It is a very real and disappointing challenge.

One of the things that I learned in my own up and down journey is that the surgery does one thing for us, it severely restricts the amount of food we can eat at one time. It will typically take about one month for your body to get adjusted to the very low calorie diet that you would be on after surgery. The timing of the surgery, two weeks into a liquid diet, and the recovery period after help us to get through that month with out as much struggle.

All of that is to say, it is possible to put yourself on the VLC diet even without the surgery. Just continue the regimen of liquid diet you have been on.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App