Need a kick in the pants at the Jersey Shore!

[Kimberlyv715 5]

I am about two month and a half months post-op. I have been steadily losing weight but I seem to need a kick in the pants as I have been in a rut. Dealing with the emotional changes from the surgery as well as other life emotions have seemed to take their toll on me.

Here's my story - I was set to get married last year but after a serious car accident we (more I than he) decided to push the wedding off. In hind sight that was probably one of the best decisions I ever made as our relationship came to an end in December. But losing him meant losing my 5 year old soon-to-be step daughter which was the hardest part for me as I loved her as if she was my own. I went through a rough time for a few months before I picked myself up, dusted off, and decided to love me and made the leap into this surgery. However a bit over a month ago he and I decided to try to rekindle our relationship (worst decision I have made!). Things were going very well until I came home earlier this week to a note written on a back of an envelope saying that he as left (fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I know). In the past I would always "eat my emotions" to make me feel better, but now I can't.

I'm going to be the big 3-0 in a couple weeks and feel like I have nothing to show for it - newly single, no kids, haven't traveled (which I LONG to do!!), etc. It seems like everyone in my life is just the opposite (happily married, kids, buying a house, seeing the world).

This surgery carries a lot of hormonal and emotional changes as is, so with all this I feel like I am losing grip on the real reason why I did this surgery. I still have around 90lbs to go before I hit my goal. It would be nice to have some buddies/mentors who have had the surgery and who can relate to the emotional changes. No one in my close group of friends/family have had the surgery (my best friend is having it later this year) so it is hard to explain to them just what my body is going through. It would also be great to have a gym buddy as well!! Sorry for the Debbie-Downer story! Thank you for getting to this point haha!

--Kim

[Valentina 2,642]

Take some time, sit on the shore of the Raritan Bay and look upon the sunrise. It doesn't get more inspirational than that. Doing so has always rejuvenated my spirit.

I'm sorry your are going through such turmoil in your life right now.

I know, for myself--I'd rather be "from a bad relationship and be in one".

You are now on the path to a healthier life and a clean slate in life. Erase and wash the old slate and prepare for a new and exciting path. You're heading in the right direction!

Keep posting . Let us know how you're doing. I, for one, REALLY care. I'm here and I'm listening. I hope that helps.

Feel better, Friend. Happiness will find you. I promise.

[jnmunley 0]

Where in the Jersey shore are you? I'm moving near Red Bank in August. I just had the surgery this past Tuesday. I'd love your support as well!!

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[Christinamo7 4,041]

I just want to let you know that my 30's were much better than my 20's and my 40's have been much better than my 30's were! so I think you have so much to look forward to.

you will also have lots to sort out in this first year post op, and probably will be attracting a wider range of gentlemen, so I concur with the idea to sit on the seaside some and really think about what your hopes and dreams are for the next decade. and then go make it happen!

this is a lovely support group, and we will be here when you need to talk anything out.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

You have a lot to deal with on your own. This is a great time to focus on you. As others have already said, you have an awesome life to look forward to.

This is a great time to marshal all of your resources. Are you seeing a therapist? Attending support groups? Participating in a faith community?

All of these can help you create the healthy life you deserve.

You may also want to consider attending some 12-step recovery group meetings like Overeaters Anonymous (OA.org). This program can be very helpful in helping us deal with emotional eating.

When you are able regular exercise will be very helpful for both your body and soul. I swim and nothing feels as good as being in the Water. Learning to surf is one of my life goals but I am really looking forward to just being able to take a long walk on the beach.

Volunteering is also a way to get out of our own head and do something for someone else.

For me, practicing creativity is a big part of my program. I like to write, take photographs, attend classes and workshops, take painting and other art classes, etc. I try to incorporate creativity into my daily life.

Surgery and recover will be a full-time job, at least for a couple of months so this is a great time to be selfish and focus on your own needs.

You will get through this!

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@Kimberlyv715 You are still so young and have a lot of life ahead of you! Stay strong & positive!!! There's plenty of time to meet the love of your live and have children (if that's what you want). In the meantime, be healthy and enjoy life!!!

[Mom2cubs 3]

I am 2 years post op. I lost 90 lbs gained back 15 then got serious again. I am back on the loosing side. Hang in there girl. I can completely relate to your story. I did not get married until I was 33. Had my firstborn at 36 and second st 38. Life goes on and gets better. Take care of yourself. You will not be better with someone, you have to be your best by taking care of you. Don't give up. The right one will be there when he is his best, too.

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