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Being Faithful

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Started by chaotica, Jun 30, 2012 7:55 PM
118 replies to this topic
118 replies to this topic

    chaotica

    Expert Member

  • Posts: 159
  • Joined: Apr 2012
  • Location: ILLINOIS
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
  • Surgery Date: Apr 2012
  • Starting Weight: 250 lbs
  • Weight Lost: 60 lbs
  • Current Weight: 190 lbs
  • Goal Weight: 120 lbs
  • BMI: 33.7
Posted July 1, 2012 - 7:21 PM

#41


The ex husband now takes them on weekend and that began a year ago. It feels amazing to have a little me time. Though when they are gone if the bf and I don't go out for a drive, I'm sleeping...lol the bf has no children of his own but he says everyday, these kids are his. He jokes that people think he's nuts when he's in public calling five white kids his. He's black and he says the only one who can pass for his is my oldest little dark one. The rest are blonde hair and blue or green eyes. But genes do not a family make.


    TinyMamiOf3kids

    Bariatric Legend

  • Posts: 5,493
  • Joined: Apr 2012
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: NEW YORK
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
  • Surgery Date: May 2012
  • Starting Weight: 211 lbs
  • Weight Lost: 110 lbs
  • Current Weight: 101 lbs
  • Goal Weight: 110 lbs
  • BMI: 19.7
Posted July 1, 2012 - 7:37 PM

#42
I believe in once a cheater always a cheater,but also you can forgive a person,but if they cheated on you the entire course of the marriage/relationship. Was it or it is worth staying with some one like that? He has no respect & doesn't value you as a woman.


    nickyvolzz

    Senior Member

  • Posts: 61
  • Joined: Jul 2012
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
Posted July 1, 2012 - 7:46 PM

#43
He does value me. Its just hard to forget. I haven't had the surgery yet. I'm still debating on which surgery to get. I heard that a lot of marriages end after wls so I'm kinda wondering what will happen in the future.


    nickyvolzz

    Senior Member

  • Posts: 61
  • Joined: Jul 2012
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
Posted July 1, 2012 - 7:54 PM

#44
Yeah it was the entire time and he lead a double life. In a way I feel cheated out of the life I could have been living. We will have been together for 10 years in September. I've been with him and only him since I was 18. I'm turning 28 in August. Our 6 yr wedding anniversary is on the 22nd of this month. That day is going to be hard I just know. I have babies with him that I stay home and take care of and I also don't work. It's just so hard I go through these cycles of wanting to leave him then getting scared too. The weird thing is that I also still love him. :(


    kiwiladydee

    Bariatric Master

  • Posts: 1,413
  • Joined: Jun 2012
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
Posted July 1, 2012 - 11:56 PM

#45

Im looking forward to all the attention from men not because i would want to cheat, but because it would make me happy too know that im desirable to the opposite sex. Its scary though because I'm also not 100% confident that I won't leave my husband because I still resent him after finding out that he cheated on me for the entire length of our relationship with this lady he was with before me. It sucks cause we have two young kids age 3 & 1.


Wow Nikki

I really hope survey helps you with being happy is all espects of you life. That was much more than a quicky - it was another full telationship - so I would not think you would easily get over it. We r all here to help each other so just let it all!!


    Tammy483

    Junior Guru

  • Posts: 388
  • Joined: May 2012
  • Location: OMAN
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
  • Starting Weight: 342 lbs
  • Weight Lost: 82 lbs
  • Current Weight: 260 lbs
  • Goal Weight: 180 lbs
  • BMI: 40.7
Posted July 2, 2012 - 12:22 AM

#46

Im looking forward to all the attention from men not because i would want to cheat, but because it would make me happy too know that im desirable to the opposite sex. Its scary though because I'm also not 100% confident that I won't leave my husband because I still resent him after finding out that he cheated on me for the entire length of our relationship with this lady he was with before me. It sucks cause we have two young kids age 3 & 1.


I feel the same way, I was married for 6 years and he was cheating on me for the entire duration. He was even paying all her bills while I was working like a dog while pregnant. And he was very abusive. I dont have the heart to forgive him. He is a crappy father and a crap husband. She can have him for all I care.

I've been dating someone for the last one and a half years, it's a total turnaround from what i am used to. My bf makes me feel like a queen. And I love it

You are better than this, once a cheater, always a cheater.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk


    TinyMamiOf3kids

    Bariatric Legend

  • Posts: 5,493
  • Joined: Apr 2012
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: NEW YORK
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
  • Surgery Date: May 2012
  • Starting Weight: 211 lbs
  • Weight Lost: 110 lbs
  • Current Weight: 101 lbs
  • Goal Weight: 110 lbs
  • BMI: 19.7
Posted July 2, 2012 - 1:26 AM

#47

Yeah it was the entire time and he lead a double life. In a way I feel cheated out of the life I could have been living. We will have been together for 10 years in September. I've been with him and only him since I was 18. I'm turning 28 in August. Our 6 yr wedding anniversary is on the 22nd of this month. That day is going to be hard I just know. I have babies with him that I stay home and take care of and I also don't work. It's just so hard I go through these cycles of wanting to leave him then getting scared too. The weird thing is that I also still love him. :(


I understand. When I was a teenager & in my 20's I would had never thought how I do now. I'm grown & there is so much help out there that I don't need to struggle to have a home & my kids safe. I feel independent & the sexier I get the more courage I get to one day leave but I'm trying real hard to keep the marriage together.


    TinyMamiOf3kids

    Bariatric Legend

  • Posts: 5,493
  • Joined: Apr 2012
  • Gender: Female
  • Location: NEW YORK
  • Surgery: Gastric Bypass
  • Surgery Date: May 2012
  • Starting Weight: 211 lbs
  • Weight Lost: 110 lbs
  • Current Weight: 101 lbs
  • Goal Weight: 110 lbs
  • BMI: 19.7
Posted July 2, 2012 - 1:31 AM

#48

I feel the same way, I was married for 6 years and he was cheating on me for the entire duration. He was even paying all her bills while I was working like a dog while pregnant. And he was very abusive. I dont have the heart to forgive him. He is a crappy father and a crap husband. She can have him for all I care.

I've been dating someone for the last one and a half years, it's a total turnaround from what i am used to. My bf makes me feel like a queen. And I love it

You are better than this, once a cheater, always a cheater.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk


True only she will realize it. I can understand he cheated once or several times with one person but years since they been together. I would had been gone before the 2nd kid was born. I would had got a vibrator also. Imagine he would had gave her STD. He would has been one dead mother f&&&&&er if that was my hubby.


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