So here is my situation. In a few months I will be going home for a visit. I havent been back home in years. Anyways I havent told anyone except two co workers ( in case anything went wrong) about my decision to have lap band surgery.

I dont know how to break it to my family that I had the surgery when I go home. When I left home I was skinny ( thanks to an extreme diet that failed once I moved to another country) and when my family came to visit I had put on some weight. I am sure from photos they could tell I put on more weight recently.

Anyways any ideas how to break it to them. My main concern is that I had a low BMI ( 33) and so I dont think they will understand my decision to have the surgery. For me I was concerned about my health and I wanted to take control of my weight and my PCOS but I know they wont understand. I would love to avoid the topic ( which I will probably do) but am afraid that if I get food stuck they might have a slight heart attack if they dont know I had the surgery. ( but knowing me I will probably wait till an event like that happens to tell them).

EEEkkk I'm so nervous to tell them!

People may disagree with me, but my question is, why do you have to tell them about the surgery. I personally do not want to be judged or given advice or looked down upon for "taking the easy way out." Besides my husband, no one knows (except for my surgeon) not even my kids, parents, siblings, co-worker - no one.

I feel it is an extremely personal decision to make and that's the way I'm keeping it for now. I was banded on 10/19/09. Who knows, maybe my attitude will change regarding the surgery, but for now "mum's the word."

I havent told any either, its no bodies business, i didnt tell my family either, Just tell them what i do, that you eat less and you excercise, They will see you eat less so there you go, You did this for you, not anyone else.

I really wish I could keep it to myself. I think when I go back for a visit I wont tell anyone but once I go back to live in Canada I will have to tell my parents as I will be under their health insurance ( will need to know what is covered etc) and will be living with them for part of the year ( holidays and vacation away from school).

I'm also worried that if something happens no one will know that I had the surgery.... :S

I also haven't told many people, immediate family and two best friends. I also don't want to be judged. My daughter says that people that truly care about me will be glad that I am improving my health. I still feel that it is private. Still unsure of the what to say in the future.

I went to a support group 2 weeks ago and asked the same question. On Thanksgiving, I will be seeing my parents for the first time since my surgery and they do not know. I kept telling the group that I hated lying to my folks. The counselor told me, "Don't lie. Tell them that you have decided to start making some wiser choices about your life. You are trying to eat better & exercise more." This is the truth & I feel very comfortable saying that. There is so much emotional pain wrapped up with my skinny parents and my eating/size over the years that I do not think I will ever tell them about the surgery.

The only one that knew I had the surgery was my husband! I told my children and sister after surgery. I felt it was also very personal and people wouldn't understand this was not the easy way out. I decided to tell my immediate family a few weeks after surgery because I wanted their support and to be my cheering section so to speak.

Now when people ask what I am doing to lose weight, I tell them I eat very small meals several times a day and try to make all my choices healthy ones. My family doesn't even mention the surgery anymore, my eating habits have just become a way of life to me and them.

I told everybody!!!!!! And I admit there are days I wish I hadn't, but overall it has been a positive experience. My experiences have helped educate a lot of ppl and they can see that I have lowered my food intake and increased my exercise so they know that while the band is helping, ultimately it is my hard work that is succeeding. Go with your gut, if it says don't tell then don't tell. Best wishes,

Mimi

I told everyone! I was so shocked that my doctor recommended it for me. I had gone to a seminar in 2003 in New Orleans and they wouldn't do it on someone over 60 yrs old. So, I had just given up and thought I would die a old fat woman. When I told I could have it and my insurance paid, I went for it and I told everyone what I was doing. I am the type of person that does well with a good support system and I have it in my family and friends. Anyone that isn't supportive doesn't get my attention. I am fortunate in that I have six people in my church that have had it done and we all help each other.

Just remember that it's your body, your health, and your decisions. Don't let family bring you down. Explain that you are taking control of your health by eating less, slower, and making better choices for yourself. If they can't understand that, then you need to evaluate other issues between you and them.

Hang in there and do your best. You can do it.

I've had some family members ask why? and of course the day after surgery I had my grandmother ask if it was worth it?... um...how the hell do I know the day after surgery?!

but I tell them it's my decision for my health. Most of the people who have not understood never have had a weight problem in their lives so they don't understand.

Be strong in your decision and just tell them I am just giving you a heads up in case you need to know.

I told everyone. I told myself that if I was going to get the lapband then I was NOT going to be ashamed of it because I need help to get the weight off. I am going to own it and be proud of it. I decided to take my life back and its all in my hands so i use the lapband for me and Im glad that I have so much support.

My immediate family knows, but I told 4 friends. 2 of them could not understand and i got some negative comments from one of them. So I won't be telling anyone else. If someone hasn't had weight problems their whole life, they won't understand. So I'm not telling anyone else.

I told everyone. I told myself that if I was going to get the LAP-BAND® then I was NOT going to be ashamed of it because I need help to get the weight off. I am going to own it and be proud of it. I decided to take my life back and its all in my hands so i use the LAP-BAND® for me and Im glad that I have so much support.

I agree! I've told the people close to me that I'm having the surgery. If I'm going to be sucessful, I can't be affraid to tell people that I'm going through this. I also get some negitive feedback because most people think I don't "qualify" for the band. I'm 70 pounds overweight and I have tried everything else under the sun. Why wait until I'm 100 pounds over weight to do it. Many people have said that just because I can afford it, it's the easy way out. It's not easy, but I'm ready to be in control for life, not just the amount of time it takes to loose it!

Best of luck to all of you!

My husband and 2 kids know about my decision to be banded on Jan 8th,2010. I told one sister last night. She was shocked and asked "is it worth it?" Weird since she had liposuction on her not big love handles, butt etc. Why is this so diff from that? It's not vain to not want to be fat. I also would like to be healthy. Based on her response i think I'll keep this to myself. I know a lot of people will be supportive, but that may be by way of, should you be eating that? That's not support at all. Also, I have a feeling when you tell people you've been banded, they credit the band and not you for the loss. I have struggled with weight my entire life and if I lose it, I want credit, you know what I mean? the band will help but I'll be doing the work. Do you think I am not giving people enough credit?

I told a few co-workers because one of them had it and he told me about it, some family which will become all family eventually, but it does not matter who knows and who doesn't because to be succesful you must be focused and not care about what anyone thinks anyway.

In this case, I think I agree with We3601! Why tell them at all? If anybody asks about weight loss, tell them you started eating healthier and then exercising and that should be enough!