I'm overcoming a bad weekend where I most likely overate and caused some serious discomfort. Lots of people have called or written asking what's up. Thanks, by the way

In a nutshell, I've decided to attack my situation in Las Vegas! I don't want to go to Mexico, I don't want to go to California (mind you Dr. Billy is a great surgeon, but he's not in Vegas.)

Today I called both local band docs, and was turned away by the staff because I was banded in Mexico. I demanded they discuss my EMERGENCY with the doctors. Teng's office called me back and told me to go to my primary doc. Fisher hasn't called me back yet. Remember, I ran into Fisher at the pharmacy (small world thing) and he told me to my face that he WILL see emergencies from Dr. Lopez. I told the staff that I'm making an announcement to the world:

If I have stomach fluids leaking that can potentially kill me, and if I die as a result of my band, then the whole world will know that Teng and/or Fisher didn't care enough to look at me because money is more important than human life.

I next made an appointment with my primary doctor for next week, who will refer me to a gastroenterologist, who will hopefully refer me for an endo. I will urge them that leaks can kill me. But, it's useless for any old gastro to do the endo since only a Band surgeon knows how to find erosion. Billy told me that regular gastro doctors overlook erosion all the time, which brings me to the problem with Teng. Teng's staff said Teng refers his problem patients out to get the scope from a local lab. That means even Teng's patients can have erosion, but if Desert Radiologists, for example, don't know how to look for erosion, then they might bypass it.

So for now, I am feeling better. I learned that not all "slips" are really slips. Sometimes just a small portion of the stomach can come up through the band, and by staying on liquids for a few days, things could fall back in place. I learned deep-fried cheesesticks dipped in Marinara sauce can cause blockage, as can other foods. But Sandy (from Ortiz's office) talked to me, and she specifically mentioned a bad time she had with mozzerella sticks, which happens to be exactly what I ate, and she described my exact symptoms.

So for now, I'm nowhere. Sandy also agreed that infected ports can often lead to erosion, but she said there's always a chance it won't. So I have to fight for an endoscopy. If I get scheduled, I will talk extensively with the technician before going under and explain that erosion can look like the smallest dot. Dr. Teng's staff said any doctor that scopes me can call Teng for a consult.

So, let's see where this takes me. I'll make a deal. If I have a clean band on May 5, 2006, then I'll let you all chip in for my new port (ducks from flying shoes.)

I love you guys - thanks for always being here, each and every one of yoons.

Medical School??? Just finish that book “Beliefs According to Delarlism” have it published, make lots of money on the circuit…Oprah, Leno. Hire your personal surgeon and open a clinic in Vegas just for all us bandsters.

Not only will we all be thin and healthy, but we’ll be sexually satisfied!!!

It’s all about the Money…

She can call her clinic "Thin & Sin"

It will cause a media sensation.

:]

Hey, I'm liking this clinic idea! Yes, I must work on becoming a millionairessesssessss at once-te-sessss!

She can call her clinic "Thin & Sin"

Bwahaha haha!!! ROFLMAO!!

If that's taken, how about "Thin as Sin"? :)

Dr. Billy is military when it comes to diet. He doesn't take any crap, and you can't pull anything over on him. One thing I remember is when he asked me why I had cheese in the house. His tone and seriousness may as well have screamed, "WHY THE F DO YOU HAVE CHEESE IN THE HOUSE, LISA, HUH?!"

Cheese is evil. As evil as candy. Sure, a slice or couple ounces is an excellent source of protein and much needed dairy, but when's the last time I enjoyed a slender slice of cheese? Cheese just isn't cheese unless it's stretched 2 feet out in front of you or mounded in heaps all melty and lovely. MMM cheeessseee. Stupid cheese.

Tick tock, still on hold waiting to make my Gastro appointment. Love those phone recordings saying, "Thank you for holding." Then the girl finally picks up and says, "can you hold a moment.?" Uh, do I have a choice?

Put on your panty liners and get ready for a laugh. After 15 minutes on hold, the Gastro dept. says they have my referral, but it doesn't refer me. What? Yes, they have a referral form from my primary, but since it doesn't specifically say that I'm referred, it's useless. I asked "Doesn't the fact you have a referral form IMPLY that I'm referred?" So since she wasn't able to answer such a perplexing question, she blind-transferred me to Brenda, who proceeded to yell at me. I should know this, and I should know that, so I put on the drama and fake cried and make her feel like crap, then asked, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT A SICK PATIENT?" I could hear the "Oops" in her fat head as she started tap dancing and calling me Honey.

Back to square one. Circus music playing in my head.

DeLarla

You had me laughing so hard I almost needed my panty liner!!!!!

Bwahaha haha!!! ROFLMAO!!

If that's taken, how about "Thin as Sin"? :)

I can't even say "Thin & Sin" let alone "Thin as Sin!" Can't do it, I try and try, and just can't do it.

But oddly enough, "Thin is Sin" is easier to say...

Lisa, you are my hero... from one circu freak to another

We'll just cut the middle man and call it "Thin Sin".

Hugs Lisa. Try not to kill any medical staff today, as hard as that may be.

:]

thin AND sin? I'll be nght there

Hey, Donali. Hey, Lisa!