Be vewwy vewwy kwiet...I'm hunting Carlenes....

I was pregnant last 14 years ago doesn't mean I should be a mod on a pregnancy forum.

***Peace offering #2***

Plus, that was a rude post and I lost a little respect for myself by posting it...

No more underlying pokes...

Edited September 2, 200916 yr by Gone4Now

I have to agree with Jennifer - I too had a run-in w/ HH awhile back.

I'll be the first to admit it - I pulled a Failure - I saw something I didnt like and attacked - I initiated the fight - but quickly saw there was no use in arguing (he would have probably won the verbal sparring anyway) and I backed down. I have since grown to respect him (at least find him intriguing) as I believe he does me.

This is adult behavior (well at least the latter part)- lets leave the grade school bickering and games to those under the age of 12.

No one has the right to invalidate one's worth - indicating what you have to say is not important. This is what happens when you willy nilly erase the words of another. They are not just words - they are someone's thoughts and ideas - no more or less important than your own.

Right. Ok, so I don't really know, but I believe that the two deleted posts (which I haven't seen) were probably something of a snarky / snarky nature, and they were deleted to de-escalate the situation here.

Everything is now poised to return to normal, I hope.

And in a totally non-related nod to PJTP, let me add here that any of you can ask any question. Obviously, if that question is not directly related to you, but to another party, then we need to take it to PM to protect privacy (I strongly, strongly believe in privacy rights).

On another note, I realize that it comes across as kinda "wah, poor me" to complain about being a mod on here, but we all know that friendships and attachments are built, even on the internet....and it does hurt feelings to get a lot of messages being accused of "playing god", "being power hungry", and "getting a big head". I've gotten messages over the last two weeks accusing me of all the above (not from any of you guys, BTW). So yup, this is a volunteer position (or else somebody has been stealing my damn paychecks) and all the mods do it to help / support people that have been banded / thinking about being banded. Ok, know that I got all "inner feelings", I've got to strip off my shirt and look at my manly body in the mirror to re-establish my machismo. I'm a hell of a manly guy, and I think we can all agree on that point and use it as common ground. :blushing:

Dearest Plain,

IMHO, you have never been snarky or unkind or anything but freaky and kinky. I appreciate that! You have been willing to answer questions and lend support to me from the beginning. I thank you.

TPG

(This message is personally endorsed, approved, and typed by me and me only) :blushing:

okay...

1- I disagree that mine was snarkily written, however I do believe that it could have been snarkily taken. I meant to be open and honest with Susan, telling her how I felt - openly, so that there was no miscommunication on either part.

2 - Perhaps some of the frustrations that have been felt by the mods over recent complaints that you mention, were taken out on me for questioning ONE and only ONE thing. I've never PM'd anyone to complain about them, and would never do that to a mod. I still haven't complained officially about the mods even though all day I've been wondering where the hell my post went.

Which brings me to..

3 - My post disappeared. This punctuates my entire point that the mods may have too much control. I'd be willing to add: Too much control without proper communication.

It's been said that HH was warned repeatedly...that other people are warned. I wasn't warned when my post was deleted. No PM to tell me why...no note in the thread. Just gone.

That was the most disturbing - even out of the lbt vs. fb discussions. It bothered me because a) it validated HH's points, :blushing: it proved that mods can delete things without warning, and DO, and c) I wasn't agreed with, so the post was deleted. What other things are deleted because a mod doesn't agree? Anything related to the band? politics? religion? How else can words be twisted to show a different side of a thread.

If I were one of the members that caused a lot of issues, then some posts were deleted (or changed....?) then no one would have questioned the mods.

Today, thankfully, I have friends that trust me and know I'm not making stuff up. I have no proof that I wrote anything. And, now, you're saying it was "snarky". Well, maybe...but now no one can read it to make up their own minds.

I can't re-read it to say, "Damn...I was snarky...sorry!"

You said you strongly believe in privacy, and I respect that. I can get nosey, it's my nature to ask why. I can back off that.

The one thing that I strongly believe in is personal freedom. I would respect the decision to remove the post if there had been a reason given, or any communication at all.

Personally, I think the mod that removed it was out of line, whether it was snarky or not.

I appreciate you, Trey...I understand you trying to see things on both sides. I am 100% willing to communicate, but don't like being silenced without cause.

I've got to strip off my shirt and look at my manly body in the mirror to re-establish my machismo. I'm a hell of a manly guy, and I think we can all agree on that point and use it as common ground. :blushing:

You are the MANLIEST of all men. :ohmy:

okay...

1- I disagree that mine was snarkily written, however I do believe that it could have been snarkily taken. I meant to be open and honest with Susan, telling her how I felt - openly, so that there was no miscommunication on either part.

2 - Perhaps some of the frustrations that have been felt by the mods over recent complaints that you mention, were taken out on me for questioning ONE and only ONE thing. I've never PM'd anyone to complain about them, and would never do that to a mod. I still haven't complained officially about the mods even though all day I've been wondering where the hell my post went.

Which brings me to..

3 - My post disappeared. This punctuates my entire point that the mods may have too much control. I'd be willing to add: Too much control without proper communication.

It's been said that HH was warned repeatedly...that other people are warned. I wasn't warned when my post was deleted. No PM to tell me why...no note in the thread. Just gone.

That was the most disturbing - even out of the lbt vs. fb discussions. It bothered me because a) it validated HH's points, :blushing: it proved that mods can delete things without warning, and DO, and c) I wasn't agreed with, so the post was deleted. What other things are deleted because a mod doesn't agree? Anything related to the band? politics? religion? How else can words be twisted to show a different side of a thread.

If I were one of the members that caused a lot of issues, then some posts were deleted (or changed....?) then no one would have questioned the mods.

Today, thankfully, I have friends that trust me and know I'm not making stuff up. I have no proof that I wrote anything. And, now, you're saying it was "snarky". Well, maybe...but now no one can read it to make up their own minds.

I can't re-read it to say, "Damn...I was snarky...sorry!"

You said you strongly believe in privacy, and I respect that. I can get nosey, it's my nature to ask why. I can back off that.

The one thing that I strongly believe in is personal freedom. I would respect the decision to remove the post if there had been a reason given, or any communication at all.

Personally, I think the mod that removed it was out of line, whether it was snarky or not.

I appreciate you, Trey...I understand you trying to see things on both sides. I am 100% willing to communicate, but don't like being silenced without cause.

I just said "snarky" because I like that word. I wasn't suggesting that you were really at fault or anything. Sometimes things get deleted because it just helps keep the peace for EVERYBODY. I can see how that might not sit well with you. Again, anybody can ask me anything at anytime. Preferably, these questions will be sexual in nature, but....I'll try to answer the others too.

Okay...

So I have this rash. Is that normal? (like that?)

NOW I'M PISSED - this has gone and ruined my travel leisure!

Am I to understand that a MOD here - went to another site (FB) and attacked/chastised/ridiculed or otherwise demeaned a person from LBT - if that isn't grounds for LBT banishment - and forfeiture of mod status - I don't know what is - oh wait yes I do - speaking up for oneself - that gets it done!

Wait, WTH is going on? Seriously? If that really happened (and I don't know who), I think that person should no longer be a mod. They are now stepping over the line and getting too emotionally invested in this stuff to make valid, legitimate arguments for how they make their decisions. If a mod is getting personal (attacking others on FB OR has a hard-on for a certain individual), I believe they should step down.

I have come to a little peace - kinda, so I will <shudder> pm you with the details, so as not to upset the apple cart.

Dearest Plain,

IMHO, you have never been snarky or unkind or anything but freaky and kinky. I appreciate that! You have been willing to answer questions and lend support to me from the beginning. I thank you.

TPG

(This message is personally endorsed, approved, and typed by me and me only) :blushing:

I second that.

The thing I like most about Plain is he doesn't let his emotions take over. His egotistical narcissism, yes, but not his emotions.

It's been said that HH was warned repeatedly...that other people are warned. I wasn't warned when my post was deleted. No PM to tell me why...no note in the thread. Just gone.

My question is, is the deletion of posts at a single mod's pleasure, or is there discussion and input from other mods as to whether a post should be pulled, kind of like how it's supposedly done when warning or banning people?

Personally, if a mod is able to just pull posts willy-nilly, it CAN be abused and may have been in this case. Very wrong, IMO.

Sometimes things get deleted because it just helps keep the peace for EVERYBODY. I can see how that might not sit well with you

It doesn't sit well with most. I would venture to say that a slightly snarky (not saying Glouc's post was cuz, let's face it, it's gone) or controversial post causes less upset than a mod overstepping their bounds and pulling posts at will. Being a mod before, I can attest to that. And being a member, I can doubly attest to that. It fosters a feeling of distrust for the mod(s), the site, and gets more people angered at the heavy-handedness of whoever did it. ESPECIALLY if it wasn't the type of post that broke the rules and/or was a warnable offense.

But, don't you think by pm'ing people the details, so you can further rile them up, you are upsetting the apple cart? :blushing:

I am going to make one final post on this matter, and then I am done. I am coming off of a week in which I put in a ridiculous amount of hours in preparing for our biggest fundraiser of the year on Saturday. I am exhausted. I have been sick for two days and not feeling well. Then, we had to deal with a situation here that has been brewing for two months. The person in question has been sending me threatening/nasty emails. People I considered to be my friends are slamming me over a decision that was made by myself and the mods and endorsed by Alex. Aside from being the administrator here, I am also a human being. Human beings are allowed to make mistakes. I posted my frustration about this and many other things that are happening outside of here on facebook. That post had no names mentioned in it. It was simply assumed whom I was referring too. While it has been posted quite a bit on here that I made that post, what hasn't been mentioned was that it was only up for a very short minute or so on facebook before I thought better of it and deleted it. Much like the post that was made about me being power hungry and who did I blow to get this job. How was that any different in terms of taking things personally, and attacking me on facebook? How do you think my husband felt about THAT comment? Or all the comments made about me in reference to it? I made a mistake in what I posted on facebook, knew it and took it right back down again. My deepest apologies for being human and offending anyone by it.

I will not apologize for banning a member, nor will I justify the reasons for doing so. It was a team decision, endorsed by Alex and I continue to feel it was the correct and appropriate action.

As for why am I here when I don't have a band, well, first off, I have a lot of experience with it. Brandy, you have experience with being pregnant and raising kids, so sure, you could definitely be a mod on a pregnancy forum. Alex is a great guy and has done a lot for me and I owe him so much and will continue to do the best I can for him. We both have one main goal, which is to see people succeed in their weight loss efforts.

Again, I apologize for anyone whom I may have offended. I have lost people whom I considered to be friends over this issue, and I find that very sad. If you think I am sitting here on my high horse of power, well, then you just don't know me very well. I am not like that all, not one bit.