Hi Guys,

One week from today I will be laying in the hospital recovering from my surgery. I am so scared. My biggest supporter, my boyfriend Terry has not been speaking to me because we had a falling out last week. My parents are coming with me for the procedure and my Mom keeps trying to talk me out of it and I am just so scared of my parents even being there. i wanted it to be Terry to be the one I saw when I woke up but now that has all changed. I feel like such a freak because my work mates don't know why I am having a surgery and I will be damned if I am going to tell them why. I feel like being fat is a cancer that I just can't shake and this is the final option, it has to work. I feel sick all the time, I developed neuropathy from being over weight (and inherited it) and my mental nerves are really effecting my physical ones.. What is going to happen to me? How much do you need to rely on other people for help when you first get home from the hospital? I know I will be there 2 days, but I live alone and cannot deal with my parents. I keep having neuropathy attacks and I know it's being set off by my skittish nature since me and Terry have been taking a break.. Anyone out there understand? I watched "The Biggest Looser" tonight and I feel like I am taking the easy way out, but everyone is different. I am very private about my weight. Thanks for listening.

Jen

You could actually do this all by yourself- I can tell by the way you write! Jump in girlie the water is fine & so will you be. Really you'll wake up & be like wow that really was easy & I know from this day forward I will feel better every day. Seriously you'll be fine.

You are going to be amazed at how easy this surgery is..I was shopping all over town the day after my surgery and did not take anything for pain but liquid tylenol, the worst part is the gas ..so get up and walk as soon as you can once out of recovery..walk the halls of the hospital, it helped me so much!

I feel like I am taking the easy way out,

trust me, this is not the easy way out, we have to exercise, we have to eat right, we have to give up certain things like no drinking with meals, we have to eat very slow, chew our food until it is liquified, this is not easy, the band is just a tool to help you to eat less, we still have to do alot of the work, there are ways to eat around the band, we have to be mentally ready for this lifestlye change. Our heads have to do some work...this is not easy, the band just helps us and gives us an edge over other dieters..Dont let anyone tell you this is the easy way out, they have no idea until they are in our shoes. Best of luck to you, try and relax and let the day come, it will be over before you know it and you will be on your way to a happier & healthier new you

And they should do a show called the Biggest Loser 5 Years Out - betcha none of them keep their weight off.

You won't really need anyone unless you have some heavy lifting to do. My husband and daughter are very supportive and always were. I didn't tell anyone else and though they've noticed I am loosing weight no one has associated it with the time I took off from work. I could've gone back after a week, but took the 3 weeks off that I had planned. Even though I didn't really feel bad after the first few days I rested a lot and just tried to adjust to my new lifestyle. Frankly, it was nice to have the time alone.

I sent you an email.

Hey! Being scared is normal! You are doing something huge and wonderful for yourself!! It's going to be okay. It's widely acknowledged that I am the BIGGEST weenie when it comes to pain and any sort of doctor stuff. And you know what? I did this ALL on my own. Went to the hospital myself. Had no visitors. My sister flew down the next afternoon and drove me home (hospitals won't let you drive home alone since you will likely be on morphine which is a narcotic and plus still have anesthesia in your veins...but hey, you *could* take a cab home if you needed to!). My sis stayed for a couple days but had NO sympathy for me. And she left out quick and left me alone again. And you know what, I felt terrible sorry for myself. And I wallowed in it for a couple days. I WALLOWED. Then I picked myself up by my bootstraps and I rented a funny movie and laughed so hard my port hurt...and I got better.

And I am happy!!

And you know what? That one hour surgery? It was nuthin'....I mean NUTHIN'!! It goes SO easy and yeah, you know what, there is some pain on the other side of the surgery. And you take meds. And it gets better. And about a week after surgery you say to yourself...you know what? I feel pretty good!

And you realize you are stronger and braver and have more courage than you ever thought possible. And you begin to feel strong. And you regain energy while you lose weight. And it's good.

And you are happy.

And you realize you can take on the world. And you smile at your pre-surgery self who was so scared.

*hugs*

We're here for you.

Well written Karen!!! Kudos and Amen!!!

When you wake up, you will feel like you did way too many sit ups. You will not be in any intense pain. I never even used the liquid pain killers they prescribed. The most I took was also the liquid tylenol and that would happily knock me out. The worst part is the gas so make sure you have some gas x and let it rip. You will take a couple of naps a day and don't forget to walk around your living room and sip water allday. The worrying before surgery is the worst part. LOL

And they should do a show called the Biggest Loser 5 Years Out - betcha none of them keep their weight off.

You got it !!

BTW, surgery is NOT the easy way out. Hang in there, your gonna be just fine

Hugs.

Jen.....I know exactly what you're going through. I was scared out of my mind before my surgery and afterwards I kept wondering what was I so afraid of. As far as needing help afterwards, I had my surgery on Friday and was back at work on Tuesday. I even went shopping on Sunday afternoon. Honey, your Mom is probably just afraid for you having surgery but don't let that deter you in any way. You about to being the ride of your life! I had polio as a child and my doctor told me I was heading for a wheelchair if I didn't get some weight off well that was what finally made me wake up and realize I had to do something. After lots if research I knew that the band was the answer I had been looking for. I was so afraid that it wouldn't work for me but let me tell you, it's the best thing I have ever done for myself! That's the whole point....you're doing this for YOURSELF! This site was a Godsend to me before my surgery and remains so. For some reason it helps me to know that I'm not feeling or going through exactly what someone else already has or is currently. As far as support, having it from outside this site is wonderful, but if you ever feel like you're going it alone, people here will make that feeling go away with a quickness! Good luck and congratulations cause Kiddo, you are about to being the most amazing and incredible journey into the land of the band!

You can do this, Jen. Most of us were nervous and scared before we got our bands. But it's worth it. I'm more than 20 years older than you (hence creakier) and I went for my surgery alone. Friends stopped by to help me when I got home, but to tell the truth I needed the conversation more than I needed physical assistance. You'll be achy & sore for a few days, then life gets better.

Are you going to a local hospital, to Mexico, or to a neighboring state? If you're traveling far, it might be worth having your parents along for support. But if they will be just a few miles away, no matter how much they love you, maybe you should just tough it out alone. You don't need anything else getting on your nerves right now.

Good luck.

I think you'll be fine. It sounds like you have a lot of emotional stress on top of trying to get prepared for surgery. You might just flat out tell your mom "I'm doing this, and you aren't going to change my mind, so please stop." I'm sorry about your boyfriend. Not that the timing is ever good, but the timing on that was really bad.

Just buckle down and work on getting excited that you are doing something for yourself that is going to change the rest of your life!

Thank You to EVERYONE who has had such kind words. Next week at this time I will be banded for an entire 24 hours. I am now getting out of the scared and into the excited. I am devastated about my boyfriend, but it is so his loss. I cared for him through his MS and Cystic Acne and for him to bail out on me now is low...so low. Question: I am reading a million different opinions on weight loss in the first 4 weeks. I am assuming it is different for everyone. All my friends want to take me out for a "Last Supper" but I told them going to a movie would be better. I want to come back to work a more confident and beautiful girl.. I am determined to do this... Love you all...

Jen

Jen, you are gonna be FINE, more than fine, and when I am a week away from my surgery (in November, probably), you will be posting to me and telling me not to worry.

Best of luck to you next week, and all throughout your journey.

Pansy

It's perfectly normal to worry, and I am sorry that your boyfriend and family aren't more supportive (boy, is your boyfriend going to be sorry when you are all slim and sexy :-)

There are really wonderful, supportive people on these boards who will get you through this. They have helped me tremendously!

I told my colleaugues that I had an intestinal resection, which explains the surgery, time off, and to a degree the weight loss. No one has inquired any further for details and I don't think they will!!

The surgery is truly NO BIG DEAL, I promise!! You go to sleep, you wake up, and it's done. You will feel like crap for a few days and then you are on your way!!

Best of luck to you- you will do great!!