Hi All,

First let me start by saying that I have been reading threads and have come to the conclusion that this is an Amazing web site. You can learn so much on here and read people's stories, get told to get your act together, get told off and even vent and learn new approaches to everyday dilemmas. That said; I have had the most STRESSFUL banding Experience and I MESSED UP! I am not looking to get into it with anyone behind this. There are no words of disappointment I have not already told myself.

My 15 yr old nephew ( who I think of as my son) was assaulted for no reason and beaten they almost killed him and tried to hurt my sister when she tried to save his life. This all happened 4 days after I had surgery and it was really terrifying. I went to pick him and my family up and ended up taking a Bite of pizza. Just One Bite. I felt terrible! (not health wise, just disappointed in self) the next day I took 2 bites of chicken breast which had been fired no skin or batter. I am an emotional eater and although this is not an excuse I was just eating out of nervousness!

I went back to liquids and mushy foods today. I have not gained any weight. I lost 1.5 lb. but I just feel bad that I did that.

I just wanted to be up front about what I did and hear if anyone else has messed up and moved on!

Please feel free to share on any experiences and if you have to bash me or feel the need to express your disappointments go on just be honest about where that comes from.

You may not know me, you may only know some of my story but you may feel the need to Judge me. . .

And to this I say ok....

Hey Julie, I just want to say that I am so sorry about your nephew and your sister. I hope everyone is ok. And don't even think twice about those couple of bites of food, you realize what you've done and you've moved on. No one is perfect and we all mess up sometimes! I'm 7 days post op, haven't slipped up, but that doesn't mean I won't somewhere down the line. Hopefully I don't but we're only human and we can only do the best we can. Continue to stay on track and everything will be fine! Congrats!

Thank you Carrie. I feel better now because I understand that I ate out of being nervous not hungry and it is a bad habit I need to work on.

I know you will be great working towards your goal. I am overjoyed that you were on this site and able to post back to me. I look forward to sharing my journey with you and others.

Everyone is fine now. My Family is doing great now.

I am so sorry about your nephew and sister and hope their recovery is swift!

Don't beat yourself up so much I would recommend telling your surgeon just to make absolutely sure you didn't hurt yourself.

Remember its not about hating yourself for messing up. Right now the main concern is healing so if you didn't hurt yourself like you said just move on!! You have enough to deal with right now. *hug*

I feel the same way Julie! It's so great to come here and have other people who are going through the exact same thing. It's comforting! We all need to stick together and continue to share our journeys on here!

So sorry to hear about your family..... I ate (but chewed until couldn't chew any longer) Carrots from my soup today, and I had Flan last night (which made me sooooo SICK it's almost as if my own body gave me an ass whooping) We all have nerves..... Some of us eat when where nervous, some of us smoke more ciggarettes then we realize *raises hand in guilt* But the lesson is that we're human, we're not doing it on a daily basis. Keep your head up, it's only a f*ck up when you throw up, and even then, it's your bodies revenge on misbehaving. But one momemt of weakness won't hurt. So long as you realized your trigger.

Not gonna beat you up and definetly not here to judge, but now that you've recogonized this do everything you can to stop it.

Yes we are all gonna have slip ups and eat the wrong thing from time to time or sit on our lazy butts when we should be burning up the fat, my concern for you is not so muchabout what you ate, but when you eat it. Your body is healing right now and adjusting to the band. I doubt you did permenant damage, but advance your diet to quickly can lead to problems down the road.

Good for you for telling on yourself, and I hope you find the support you need here among us, and most importantly I hope your family is healing well...it still amazes me sometimes how some people can act so savage.

Good luck to you and your sister and nephew!!

julie do not beat yourself up. considering what you've just been through you are doing amazing. considering what you've been through you handled it like a real trooper. stress is gonna cause a lot of us to screw up from time to time. we all do it. now just be done with it. and to be honest when i have a serious craving for something i eat it. i just have a half slice of pizza instead of half the pizza. im in charge of the food now instead of it being in charge of me. and of course my prayers got to you and your family. hopefully your nephew will recover and the monsters responsible get what they deserve!

Julie, my prayers go out to your nephew and sister. My niece had a similar incident 5 years ago. It was very, very traumatic. I am an emotional eater. I think it must have taken a LOT of willpower for you to stop at just one bite of pizza and two bites of chicken. Good for you! Pat yourself on the back for not turning to pints of ice cream or bottles or alcohol or other high calorie things that could have easily slid down and dulled the pain. You're a strong woman. Hang in there. You will do just fine! You're surrounded by a lot of good people here on the Mayo Banditos forum. :crying:

So sorry to hear what happened to your nephew and sister. My nephew was also assaulted earlier this year, and it was an awful, awful time.

What my (6 days in now) band has shown me is that the human body has such an amazing capacity for healing.

Try to focus on the positives (one bite of pizza is not that bad, as opposed to the WHOLE one you probably would have eaten if this had happened pre band.)

Hang in there!

Thank you! You all are Amazing and Supportive!

julie, sorry to hear about your family. i just wanted to share my experience, about 4 days post op i walked through the kitchen and my mother was making egg sandwiches on toast an out of habit i grabbed one and took a bite 1 BITE and realized what i had done! needless to say it didnt go well my body was not ready for that and it got stuck, i burped and groaned in pain for about 12 hours before it finally went through. all i have to say is that broke that habit quick! just be glad your mistakes went down ok and you didnt have the pain to go along with it. hope everything goes well for you.

Julie,

I am so sorry for what happened to your nephew and sister. I hope that they are doing well, and that there is no further violence against your family.

As for judging you, who would any of us be to judge you? You are here because you've decided to make a HUGE change in your life, and you are here for support, not criticism.

Yeah, you ate something that you shouldn't have. But, you recognize it, and are able to be honest with yourself, and us, about it. This is a very important step and you should be proud of yourself that you had enough control to STOP at one bite of pizza! I mean, how likely is it that you'd have been able to do that before your band?

I don't think this means you're doomed to repeat your mistakes. I think it's a good learning opportunity for you to see what your triggers are, so you can start planning how you will react more positively in the future. So Celebrate your strength, and come up with a plan for what you will do in the future when you are faced with these same temptations/urges/stress triggers.

Talk to your doctor, or if you had to do a psych eval, you might even want to talk to the therapist, because they are there to help you. They can help you come up with your "plan", and work through any emotional eating issues.

I wish you the very best, and take care of yourself!

Juniper

We Mayos are all about support and not about the judgement!!!

Let yourself off the hook. I don't know you but I am guessing you have eaten a LOT more than that in past stressful times...I know I have. A few bites of food is NOTHING compared to some of my stress binges. Dont hold yourself to perfection! Think of what you would say to someone else who had posted that...its just not a big deal. There was a blog where someone said "there's a lapse, a relapse, and a collapse." Yours was just a tiny (and understandable ) lapse!!! Be really nice to yourself...you deserve it!! We are here FOR you.

Julie, I am sooooo sorry about what happened to your family, and I hope they and you are doing much better! You are way to hard on yourself! I had something I should not have 4 days after surgery (it was mothers day) and I smushed it up real well, but I didn't have any reason so do so except for my desire for something yummy. You did really well stopping with only 1 bite!

We are all going to make mistakes! If we had so much will power we wouldn't be where we are in the first place! The most important thing we can do is admit our mistake, forgive ourselves, learn from our mistake, then move on. My therapist I had for pre op said something to me that made a lot of since, and I'll share it with you.

There are 90 meals in a month, and 21 in a week and 3 in a day. Everyone gets down on themselves if they mess up just 1 meal, then say "sh*t I blew it, I can't do this", then give up. But what they didn't stop to think about was the other 3, 20, or 89 meals they didn't screw up! You will make mistakes, so will I, and maybe a few others on here who aren't perfect will as well. Don't forget to give yourself credit for all the time you wanted to cheat but didn't!

I read somewhere once that you should not judge people unless you want to be judged yourself. I don't want anybody judging me or I'll be in big trouble!

Keep us posted on how you and your family are doing!

HJ ( hallelujahgirl) said it all!