Hi everyone. Not sure where to post this but the wife and I wanted to see if anyone has any experience with this or has suggestions.

We are going through this together and both are being banded. She finally found received her date after 8 long months. She informed the company she works for that in 28 days, she is going to have surgery.

My wife runs payroll for a large company and does have a back up for her job. The gal that does the back up does not like doing this job and does everything she can to get out of it. So once the backup was told she would have to cover payroll for the 1 day, her back up immediately went to her manager and complained.

Well, they had a management meeting and then came out and asked my wife to reschedule her surgery for a date that is more convenient for the company. My wife was very upset that they even had the gall to ask her that.

I'm a manager in a large business and our company would never ask someone to do this. I find it unethical.

Has anyone advice on this. Opinions are great but it would be nice to know what the laws are.

Has anyone experienced this or know someone who has? What did they do?

Thanks!

I don't know the laws in your state. However it is unethical.

And your wife may want to approach them with the answer that the date was set by her medical professional and is in the best interest of her health which trumps anyone's payroll timeline.

If she were so inclined she could give them the hypothetical situation that should something happen during the postponed time, like an effect from a co-morbidity getting worse-blood pressure rising and causing a stroke for example, she would have reasonable grounds to sue her company.

Or she could just not budge and tell them to ask her lawyer to change her surgery date. They'll back off.

I'm sorry she's struggling with them.

Laws vary by state. What does your WIFE's boss say? Did she discuss with him/her before hand? Does she have the leave coming? Is her job in jeopardy or is she "solid"? In Texas it isn't illegal to veto time off for company "need", but employers should use that veto lightly. Besides the payroll, what reasons did they give?

Politics are a sad fact of life in many corporate environments. Depending on your wife's situation (has she often had the person cover her? never? once in a blue moon? is she senior or junior to the person, or a peer?) I'd either suck it up and change OR...offer to give Employee X more training if she feels unsure, offer to do as much Pre-payroll work as i can, and stick by my guns.

And unfortunately, while OH Juli has a point, lap band surgery (whether for our health or not!) is ELECTIVE. If your wife had a burst appendix they couldn't ask her to "keep working" (well, they shouldn't!) but for an elective, non-emergent surgery, they are most likely within their rights.

I had a similar situation around an "elective" surgery for my son. He needed a cyst removed by his eye; he was 14 months old at the time. My employer was giving me a hard time about taking time off any time during the upcoming two months, which were June and July. By the time I was able to take time off and he had surgery in August, the cyst was so large the surgeon was even shocked. That is the biggest regret I've ever had--allowing my employer to influence a health decision. I would encourage your wife to stand up for her health needs and keep her surgery date.

It was indeed unethical. I also suggest your wife tell your boss that she cannot reschedule the surgery as it was set already. Did they even tell her the reason why they want her to reschedule it? If they are just doing it in favor of the one who will replace your wife, I think that will really be unfair.

while TX is a right to work state (as are others); where a company is incorporated (ie - diff state) those policies apply when dealing with PTO (paid time off) & acrued sick leave.

essentially they can request she not have her surgery at the time already slotted / requested - but that's not to say that if she has any kind of comorbids that this elective surgery is not necessary.

personally - i'd be firm in my time off. i could be on a beach in Mexico, getting a boil removed, or getting the lapband....you can't tell someone what / how they can use "their time off"

i would contact your local aclu / state board of employment - or at the very least a letter from your surgeon stating the necesisty of your wife's surgery.

all the best~

Thanks all for your support and suggestions. I'll provide a few more details.

My wife has worked for the company for 7 years and has had 5 different HR managers. She is quite knowledgeable in the HR field and takes care of nearly everything. Her boss who is the HR manager relies on her extensively as my wife knows the company policies quite well. She has found that a company can deny her surgery date but it is also not recommended for companies to do this and highly suggested for companies to contact legal advice before asking an employee to change a surgery date.

What she can't do is force a manager to change their mind even if their decision is risky or unethical. My wife does the payroll with in this job and is trusted with very confidential information. She has never missed a Monday when payroll had to be ran and has worked sick in order to insure a lot of people get paid.

Her back up works for the accounting manager. The first of the month is month end for accounting and this is when their work load is the heaviest. The problem is that this back up misses at least one day a week and has missed multiple times during this accounting high work load. She also sits next to them and hears them say they don't have enough to keep them busy.

So this morning my wife went in and was going to stand firm on her June 1 date. She printed out her back ups missed days so the accounting manager couldn't use work load as an excuse, because she misses so much work.

She pulled in the HR manager and the accounting manager to discuss this situation. The accounting manager was upset that she brought in this data about his employees time and considered it none of my wifes business. It is since she tracks everyones absenteeism and he was using work load as an excuse.

The accounting manager said we were stressing his employee (the back up) out. When my wife asked about her stress through all of this he said it was of no concern to him. Nice guy. My wifes boss suggested another person but the accounting manager refused to allow that. The HR manager finally said that my wife could keep her June 1 date and the accounting manager said in an upset tone "we will have to suck it up."

We believe my wife was approached to change her date because she is a kind people person who usually will burden herself before others. She will make others happy before making herself happy and her standing her ground was probably not expected.

On the other hand, her back up is very out spoken and will step on who ever in order to get her way. Somehow she doesn't have to follow the rules of the organization, misses a lot of work and still gets good raises. We can figure it out either.

Bottom line, we are moving forward. I will be banded on May 11 and my wife will be banded June 1. We will go through this journey together, no matter how difficult.

I'm sorry your wife is in such a vile situation. I know in these economic times we're all greatful to be working, but I hope things improve for her. With her experience and good work ethic, maybe something "better" (read nicer, kinder, more pro-employee) will happen for her.

I'm glad she stuck it out for her sake; good luck to both of you!

We believe my wife was approached to change her date because she is a kind people person who usually will burden herself before others. She will make others happy before making herself happy and her standing her ground was probably not expected..

i think that's a big reason why many of us gained weight & needing wls - never putting ourselves first.

i think your wife is very lucky to have your support , all the best to both of you with your upcoming surgeries.

Thanks all for your support and suggestions. I'll provide a few more details.

My wife has worked for the company for 7 years and has had 5 different HR managers. She is quite knowledgeable in the HR field and takes care of nearly everything. Her boss who is the HR manager relies on her extensively as my wife knows the company policies quite well. She has found that a company can deny her surgery date but it is also not recommended for companies to do this and highly suggested for companies to contact legal advice before asking an employee to change a surgery date.

What she can't do is force a manager to change their mind even if their decision is risky or unethical. My wife does the payroll with in this job and is trusted with very confidential information. She has never missed a Monday when payroll had to be ran and has worked sick in order to insure a lot of people get paid.

Her back up works for the accounting manager. The first of the month is month end for accounting and this is when their work load is the heaviest. The problem is that this back up misses at least one day a week and has missed multiple times during this accounting high work load. She also sits next to them and hears them say they don't have enough to keep them busy.

So this morning my wife went in and was going to stand firm on her June 1 date. She printed out her back ups missed days so the accounting manager couldn't use work load as an excuse, because she misses so much work.

She pulled in the HR manager and the accounting manager to discuss this situation. The accounting manager was upset that she brought in this data about his employees time and considered it none of my wifes business. It is since she tracks everyones absenteeism and he was using work load as an excuse.

The accounting manager said we were stressing his employee (the back up) out. When my wife asked about her stress through all of this he said it was of no concern to him. Nice guy. My wifes boss suggested another person but the accounting manager refused to allow that. The HR manager finally said that my wife could keep her June 1 date and the accounting manager said in an upset tone "we will have to suck it up."

We believe my wife was approached to change her date because she is a kind people person who usually will burden herself before others. She will make others happy before making herself happy and her standing her ground was probably not expected.

On the other hand, her back up is very out spoken and will step on who ever in order to get her way. Somehow she doesn't have to follow the rules of the organization, misses a lot of work and still gets good raises. We can figure it out either.

Bottom line, we are moving forward. I will be banded on May 11 and my wife will be banded June 1. We will go through this journey together, no matter how difficult.

Wow this is terrible - so glad she has got the time but what an employer. We all seem to have those that get away with everything and those that get away with nothing. I know that one. Thankfully I have a wonderful boss and no issues with time whenever needed. I have never missed a day in 3.5 yrs and only taken 2 weeks vacation total. In Ontario we have 10 or 12 "personal days" allowed by law for reasons that are no ones business. Could be a sick child, mental health day or whatever. You don't get paid but that's understandable. That doesn't mean you don't need to provide notice but sometimes you can't. There is nothing they can do about it. I hope she has some days to rest and heal also. Good luck to you! What's wrong with some people in the world today!

Wow! unbelievable. It's too bad that your wife has to work in that department, and that the Acct mgr is so selfish and self-centered. He probably only cares about his own employee becuz she complains and makes his life miserable.

Good for you and her for sticking to it ---- and without emotions, but hard facts. I pray it all continues well and she doesn't take on the stress.

I'm glad she stood her ground! One person should not make everyone else, including your wife suffer because they want to be lazy. I'm glad your wife gets to have her surgery done.

Well i told my boss it would probable take 4-6 months to go through the whole process because that is what i was told when i started the process. Well it has been less than 5 weeks and all i have to do is send to insurance. When i told my boss that i was through with all of my dr appointments she said it is still going to be several months before your surgeries right? I said well i am not sure how long it will take to get through insurance and surgery to get scheduled. She said well year end is a really bad time to take off because we need to get all the money in we can by ear end. So i told her if it was better that i wait until the 1st of the year i would and that i would give her a 2 week notice. I work in the business office at a doctors office. It did make me mad through because i am never out i have been there 2 years and missed 3 days which 2 of were vacation and 1 sick. Oh well come jan 1st i will schedule no matter what date they set for me.

Dyingtobethin - It will all work out for you just like it has for us. I would be surprised if you could get your surgery by years end, but maybe. For us it took 2 months for the insurance to approve and then another 6 weeks to get the surgery date. Not many people realize that it is a needed surgery and consider it more elective. For both of us, the paperwork said it was required for health reasons. When your at work, most people have the perception there is nothing wrong with you because your there everyday. In reality, your at a health risk everyday.

Good luck with your surgery. Wife and I were talking on the way home from exercising this morning. We both lost more weight before the band but the direction is still down. We both felt with out the band, we would of once again fell off the wagon and gained our weight back. The band won't allow us so we keep moving forward. Keep in touch and the best of luck. Let us know how it all goes.

Dan

Edited November 22, 200916 yr by Danimal

Thanks dan i wish you and your wife all the best. My husband and myself are both having surgery he is having bypass due to his dibeties and i am having the lapband. It will be early january for both of us. I am very excited he is not just feels it is necessary to fix his dibeties. I can't wait to be banded and start the process of feeling better physically and better about myself. Thanks for the support. Take care

:thumbup: Boy that is typical for HR / Payroll departments. I worked in HR and payroll for the last 10 -15 years of my employment. I am retired now. It seems that since you work in HR or Payroll you are expected to give up your personal needs and put the companies and other employee's needs in front of your own. No WAY!

I think what your wife did was the exactly correct thing to do. If you want to look up the labor laws go to: www.texaslaborlaws.com . Look under Time off, and Family Medical Leave (FMLA). Besure to check out FMLA. That is a Federal Law that they must honor.

Let me know how it goes. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep on...Keep'n on.

Pam:thumbup: