My mother and I are both being banded together at the end of the month. I still live at home with her so it makes things easier. We have been each others support through this ghastly pre-op diet, gone to all appointments together etc. The problem is that I don't want to tell people about the operation. I think its deeply personal and don't want to deal with judgement, ogling, questions and expectations from people. I can think of nothing worse. But her? She can't help herself! She is telling anyone and everyone about herself even though I've asked her not to because people will obviously realize I would have had it with her once the results are starting to show which will make me look like a liar and make it even MORE awkward for me. She's told people from MY work about her, she's told the entire extended family (This is how she announced it in front of everyone... "This is my last meal before I start my pre-op diet! [looks at me] Can i tell them about you?"... UH I think they figured it out already somehow!) Do you think I'm being unreasonable here to ask her to just NOT tell? Is it going to kill her to zip it!

I was going to try to keep it secret but I quickly realized keeping things quiet and secret in my big mouth family was just not going to happen.

I'm trying to get over the shame I feel about "HAVING" to have a surgery to lose weight. But it's not exactly a secret that I'm overweight. It's just the big pink elephant in the room no one is talking about.

It's kinda like the old high school joke about not eating in front of a boy. You know, "If I don't eat in front of him he won't notice I'm fat."

Love the thread title! I'm sure that over the years that my kids would have thought the same thing if they had known about the LB! :thumbup:

My hubby did this on 2-20-09 and I did 3 weeks to the day later. Me, I'm open and told well before hand. He wanted nobody to know. Well, he was off of work for a week with his and then when he went back there was already a big change in him. They asked questions, wondered and I'm sure that some worried. He really didn't lie to them about what he did, he sorta bent the truth a little. Left out some important facts. :smile: Some of them kept saying that he had went and had his "stomach stapled". He would flat out say NO I didn't. Then one day he let it slip about his "port". Oh that really set things going. He even told one guy that he was having trouble with "ED" and that he had the port/pump put in to help in that department! :thumbup: I still laugh at that one. Well they kept on and on and on.

One fella then point blank asked, and seemed to be honestly concerned that he was loosing weight and that he thought that his cancer had came back. He told him the truth and since than all the ribbing that they had been giving him stopped.

One option would be to say, "Yeah, since mom got the band there's hardly any food in the house anymore." She ought to love that.

Thanks all for your responses.

Ok, as much as I love my mother, i've decided you can't keep an Italian woman from talking.

I still don't want people to know about me, but I will use her banding to my advantage to say the reason I started eating healthy was to support "her" new life. Muhahaha. :w00t:

Who knows, maybe in future I won't mind people knowing. One week to go which means soon, SOON no more hideous Optifast.

LOL. At least you have a good sense of humor! I am a mom of a 20 year old son and 16 and 13 year old daughters. They often accuse me of not being able to keep a secret. I just figure it is my inalienable right, as the one who gave birth to them, wiped their butts, stayed up half the night worrying about a teen missing curfew, etc...., to either brag about or lament about anything they are doing in life!

Just like everyone here, your thread title brought me here. It was really funny. Anyway, Moms are really like that. But if you want your band to be kept as a secret, do tell her that you seriously don't want anyone to know your being banded, too. Surely she'll understand and respect your decision. Also, don't mind other people's opinion. Its for your own health anyway.

I feel for ya. I really do. I specifically don't tell my mother anything because if I do, everyone knows. If they're not people you know that she's telling, I wouldn't sweat it too much. But if you're going to be talking to people that you do know, I would pull her aside before hand and make it quite clear that this is your personal decision and you don't want her yammering on about it to other people. Let her know that you need to feel that you can trust her to keep your confidence or that you won't be able to tell confide in her about other things and you don't want that to happen.