I have decided not to tell anyone I am getting the Lap-band. The only ones who know are my mother, father, and husband and that is because I live with my folks and lol how can you not tell your husband lol.

I am just really frustrated today. I want so badly to share my excitment with someone, but I just know deep down if I start telling I won't get the reaction I want. I know my family and friends too well. My husband doesn't try to talk me out of it, but he isn't excited. My mom worries about everything so she asks me everyday if I am sure about this. Then my dad doesn't say anything. I THINK he feels that it is an easy way out.

I'm not one to care what others think, I really don't care what they say/think, I just wish I had someone face to face to chat about this with. Does anyone else who has made the same decision not tell tell ever feel this way????????

I have told many of my close friends that I'm having surgery, as well as my family and some of my coworkers (the ones who have become my real friends). I have only gotten incredibly supportive reactions, and when I bring up the whole "I don't want you to think I'm copping out" issue, they defend my decision to me! They tell me that they have seen me struggle for so many years and diet like a crazy person and nothing has worked, and that if I have found something that could be a long-term solution than they are proud of me for going ahead with the surgery. I don't tell everyone in my life, but the people who I have told (probably around 20 friends + coworkers) have been consistently supportive, and only want to know how they can help me.

Just another perspective.

I have only told my husband, a friend who has had gastric bypass, and two of my co-workers (whom are also getting banded). I have always been one to not give a d@*! about what anyone has to say about me and/or my decisions, but to avoid all of the DRAMA, I have chosen to keep quiet. I know that once I have the surgery, and my weight begins to decline, I will be faced with numerous questions. I am a teacher, and my colleagues are VERY nosy to say the least, so I have decided to tell them that I "have changed my eating habits and I am working out on a regular basis". I am not being dishonest... just leaving the Lap-Band out of the story. I figure since their not paying for it, it is not any of their concern. If I need support, this is a place that I know I can come to with no negative comments about my decision. :wink:

It is hard when you've decided not to tell and yet you want to share with everyone you know! LOL! Such a conundrum!

I chose only to tell (other than DH, of course): mom, mil & fil (DH pushed this issue in case "something" happened during surgery), my pastor, and a few friends. It's funny b/c I have no problem telling strangers if they ask about something specific. EX: the other day I was at Target looking for cold medicine. A gal said such & such was good but it was in pill form. I mentioned I needed liquids only since I'd had surgery several months ago. She asked about bypass, (she has a friend). I told her about the band and explained it to her when she asked what it was.

I'm proud of my decision but after the fiasco I had when I was on WW, I'm NOT going there again. Seemed EVERYONE knew I was on WW. I was constantly watched in regards to what I was eating and how much and constantly asked how much I'd lost. Then of course I gained just about all of it back.

People are noticing that I'm losing. They ask how I'm doing it and I just say I'm working on it. End of subject. Part of me feels I should "tell" but for the most part, it doesn't bother me to not say anything.

Those that I have told have been super supportive and encouraging.

For those of you making up a different surgery story. Be careful with what you come up with. Hernia is usually a good one b/c you can end up with several surgeries for those. Gallbladder is another issue. AND some people have had to have them removed after WLS.

Best wishes to everyone!

Wow I am so glad I found these post. My wife cant understand why I dont want to tell anyone about getting the lapband. I am still in the beginning stages of getting it done but I have made up my mind that this surgery is definetly for me its actually all I have been thinking about since I made up my mind 2 weeks ago after going to a seminar. The only people I have told are My wife, Mom, Dad, Suster and Brother and they are behind me 100% ohh And my Mother in Law and Father in Law. That is all I need to know right now, who knows maybe after a while I will tell people. I dont need to tell my boss as I own my own business but its funny most people make up excuses for there boss I am going to have to make an excuse to tell my workers as I am going to have to be out of work for atleast a week. I agree with alot of you that people think its just the easy way out like after you come out of surgery you are at your goal weight it is going to be alot of hard work and as everyone that is succesful will tell you its just a TOOL to help you its not a magic wand. I am also nervouse to tell people about it because what if I fail at weight loss with the lapband than you have to explain to everyone what went wrong and blah blah blah. I am so glad alot fo you are like me and want to keep it under wraps, it is a hard thing tot do because I am so excited to get it done so I can finally get my life back and I cant share it because I dont want anynegativity about it

In some way I think I also don't want to tell people because I want certain people to think that I did do it on my own. Does that make sense? I'm this strong independent woman and I feel like this is the only thing I have no been able to defeat on my own. I don't know what I am going to tell work yet. Every once in a while I will make a comment to certain individuals that I might have to have a surgery but I say it so casually that no one asks. I have PCOS so I think I will just tell my boss (who is female) that I have cists that need to be removed. I think I'm looking at a April Surgery although that isn't air tight just yet.

The only people that knew in the beginning was my husband and kids. I still have not told my Mom because she will worry to much. I'm having my surgery on March 4 and last week I had to tell people at work I was going out. I told the HR directors I was having weight loss surgery but also told them I was not planning on telling anyone. They told me that it is my choice and wished me luck. I had to tell another person I sit next too because another employee that had lap band done last year knew I was having it done and he ask me right in front of her when my date was. "BIG MOUTH" I saw him at a group meeting and ask him not to tell anyone. I hope they both keep their mouths shut, because I have told everyone else I'm having hernia surgery. I like to keep this private