BIG Embarassing Moments - Fuel for Success

[NurseShay 24]

Wow. Wow, wow, wow! I just read every post on here & though I don't know any of you I feel so bonded with you because we share the same fears, insecurities & even sad or embarassing memories. The last few days I have been really torn about this surgery. Afraid of the risks & complications. I'm a week away from being banded & can't wait to leave all these sad stories in my past. I feel for each & every one of you. Marilou your list had me laughing & crying. I've experienced all of these things from the snide comments from strangers, hurtful family members (which oddly enough were obese too!), the breaking chairs & inability to ride rollercoasters. I read someones post about being in their early 20s & feeling alienated from all the things our age grroup does. I feel your pain! My elder fam members never neglect to tell me ill never be a bride if I don't shed the pounds. And going to a bar/club is like going to the dentist! Painful! Find yourself being the purse holder or the butt of the infamous 'my friend wants to dance with you' joke with the guy looking totally mortified. Oh how I've been there! Its also fun when you do date someone goodlooking you get the constant 'hes just using her' or 'hes going to come to his senses' comments. And if one more person tells me I have such a pretty face ill scream!!!

My plane story:

Last week I flew 4 planes- I have to ride first class to avoid buying 2 seats in coach. The extension I finally got the nerve to ask for after we had some awful terbulance on one of those mini jet planes- that don't have 1st class seats! I usually take a throw blanket & pretend to be asleep at take off & landing so they won't question me. But here I thought id out smarted them being in 1st class... to find that the wonderful meal I wouldn't be able to eat becuz the tray table comes from your arm rest & slides in front of you much like those desk/chair combos someone mentioned. Well first I couldn't see past my chest to find it so the nice man next to me pulled it out only to find it wouldn't come down! The skinny stewardess stood there in front of the whole plane acting as if she couldn't go on to the next row until we figured something out & finally asked me did I jus want the hamburger to hold then. The man next to me seemed to empathsize & request my food be placed on his tray. Trying to forfeit the attention I declined but he insisted so I inhaled the burger that I had no appetite for & quickly rang for them to take it away. These older business suit passengers in 1st class looked at me like I had no business there. So embarrassed that 3hr flight felt like an eternity.

Fatbottomgirl- you are not alone! I often wonder why scrubs run so darn small when half the staff is overweight?! I have split so many of those flimsy scrub bottoms that I simply wear jogging pants instead now. I recently enlisted my mother to make my scrub tops because my 46F chest requires room to breath! Scrub material is unforgiving- especially when you sit down. =/

8 more days until I'm banded! I'm sooo ready for to start my new life!

[jaymie 0]

DEFINITELY- being asked "when's the baby due?" when I haven't been pregnant in 3 years.

Having my son ask at the grocery store, "How'd you grow such a great big belly Mom?"

[vow 0]

I was on a break at work and went outside to get some fresh air, periodically junior high school kids come through our engineering building for a tour...I was coming back in just as they were organizing getting the 40 or 50 kids loaded on the 3 available elevators to go up to the auditorium for a presentation. I got stuck with about 12 teenaged girls in the same elevator as me, and on the panel is a placard stating that the weight limit is 3500 pounds (or 21 people). This rude little b*tch behind me stage-whispers "I bet she makes up half of that limit all on her own" Now, from what I've seen through this thread, there is a lot of folks who "just take it" mortified, embarrassed, and silent.

I'm not that good a person, I turned around and told her, "I may be fat, but I make over 100k a year thanks to my education, remember that when I super-size at your drive-thru window."

I have seen so many people comment about airplane seatbelt extensions, and no one has mentioned how bad those friggen seats hurt your sides when you have to basically crisco your body down to squeeze into them. I dread flying because of how uncomfortable the seats are. My last time on an airplane was to fly to San Diego, CA on March 19th 2010. Reason for flight: lap-band surgery!

3 weeks post-op, looking forward to never having to stand up for myself to people who think it's ok to be rude to the "fat girl"

PS: Also looking forward to being able to see my who-ha again... I've missed it, hope it's the same as I remember it looking!

[hserra 0]

I was on a break at work and went outside to get some fresh air, periodically junior high school kids come through our engineering building for a tour...I was coming back in just as they were organizing getting the 40 or 50 kids loaded on the 3 available elevators to go up to the auditorium for a presentation. I got stuck with about 12 teenaged girls in the same elevator as me, and on the panel is a placard stating that the weight limit is 3500 pounds (or 21 people). This rude little b*tch behind me stage-whispers "I bet she makes up half of that limit all on her own" Now, from what I've seen through this thread, there is a lot of folks who "just take it" mortified, embarrassed, and silent.

I'm not that good a person, I turned around and told her, "I may be fat, but I make over 100k a year thanks to my education, remember that when I super-size at your drive-thru window."

I have seen so many people comment about airplane seatbelt extensions, and no one has mentioned how bad those friggen seats hurt your sides when you have to basically crisco your body down to squeeze into them. I dread flying because of how uncomfortable the seats are. My last time on an airplane was to fly to San Diego, CA on March 19th 2010. Reason for flight: lap-band® surgery!

3 weeks post-op, looking forward to never having to stand up for myself to people who think it's ok to be rude to the "fat girl"

PS: Also looking forward to being able to see my who-ha again... I've missed it, hope it's the same as I remember it looking!

I LOVE that you stood up for yourself, I know I sure wouldn't have been able to!

Some of my most embarrassing moments happen everyday, especially at work. One thing I hate is going to the restrooms, and I am always PRAYING that the handicap one is open because I HATE trying to squeeze and wiggle around trying to get through the door, it's one of those hideous bathroom doors that open towards the toilet and the have the toilet paper just far enough forward on the door opening side that it's like a puzzle trying to figure out how to get into it! It's worse if someone is watching you trying to get into the stall...

I have to say that I absolutely love that all of you are sharing, it's been so touching, I have laughed, cried, felt emotionally "there" with you! But I have to say the ones that hit closest to home are the people who have experienced issues with insulting family or sympathetic children.

My daughter is 4, and she once told me that she wants to be "like Grandma" thinking that it was sweet, but still a little jealous because I want her to be "like me". So I asked her why she wanted to be like Grandma, and she replies, "Because Grandma is so little..." And it was so heart breaking because you could see the pity and sadness in the little 4 year olds eyes as she is trying to be tasteful and not hurt mommy's feelings. Made me so sad!

I have experienced many of everyone's stories as well, and that's some of the reasons as to why I have decided to go forth on this journey! I thank each and everyone who has shared their stories and experiences, it is truly helpful to see that others feel and experience similar situations that other people who aren't overweight just don't understand. Thank you and good luck to everyone! :smile2:

[patsal 1]

I have experienced so much of what you have all courageously shared.

The two worse for me were the seatbelt extender, where I tucked it to look like I was all set during a flight to Spain and back again. It didn't reallly phase me except I was too embarassed to ask for an extender, and I just cried a bit, but pulled myself together. I didn't realize it at the time but my DD who was 12 at the time was so worried and scared for me flying like that. I felt bad for making her feel scared.

The second thing that still makes me feel so sad is that one winter I took my family to Walt Disney World to see the Christmas Lights--just a long weekend thing. While the family was sleeping in I went to the food court to grab drinks and Breakfast and bring them back to the room. There was a French man and his SO on holiday and they thought I was the sideshow. He video taped me and was making all kinds of rude comments and puffing out his cheeks like I was the largest thing he'd ever seen in his life--I do know French so I did know waht he was saying. Seriously, before the band I could put some food away, but really 4 breakfasts, I don't think so! This happened more than 5 years ago and it still makes me cry when I think about it.

[gingerjane 5]

You know what I don't get? Is why strangers feel that they have a right to comment to us about our size. I will NEVER get that. :smile2: Naturally, family members think that they're "helping" you when really, they're just being jerks. I don't know - I don't get it. Ugh.

I guess I could talk about the time that my husband and I were out at an amusement park and this chick came up to him WITH ME STANDING THERE and hit on him. He about died. He was like "I'm married" and grabbed my hand and she just looked at me. Of course, I am a bit possessive of my man, so I was like "He's HAPPILY married and I have no problem kicking your ass."

My daughter is overweight right now and the kids tease her and it breaks my heart. I actually do have an appointment for a weight-management clinic at our local children's hospital for her. (they have a positive, award-winning program) I keep telling her to ignore the kids - that they're cruel and that life begins after school. But, it's hard. I've been there. The sucky thing is - she inherited my genetics. I just wish I could take the pain away for her. This one little girl likes to torment her and finally I told her to take her down. LOL! I remember when I finally did that to some snot nosed kid when I was in the 5th grade, they all left me alone. Sucks that it comes to that. She's a cheerleader, too, and I keep waiting for someone to make a comment about her in the stands. When it happens - so help me - they won't be able to pull me off of them.

[Mamadot 0]

I started this thread over a year ago on 2/19/09 - 3 months before I had Lap Band surgery on 5/19/09. Recently, several of you have brought this thread back to life. I read through every last post this morning. I laughed some, cried a lot, and felt such a spirit of bonding, compassion, and pride in the strength of our natures to perservere day to day in a world so disgustingly tainted by weight prejudices, intollerance by ignorant people, and unaccommodating to larger sizes. I am now almost 11 months post-op, having lost 85lbs and down from a size 24/26 to a size 12. Daily life is much more accommodating to someone of my current size than it was at my previous size. Regular-sized bathroom stalls and theatre/airplane seats no longer seem so small. The attention received from family and strangers is much more positive. I can move effortlessly throughout my day, and have the energy to keep up with my fast-paced lifestyle as a working Mother of two young boys. As sickeningly wrong as it is to have to endure all that we do as larger human beings, I just want to share with you all the reality that we can succeed with this tool, and it can allow us a much more comfortable, healthier lifestyle with much more positive feedback and interactions with others. I have such a deep-seated sense of joy and pride of accomplishment that I have never felt before, and that I intend to embrace for the rest of my life! I wish the same for all of us struggling with weight issues - May God bless us all on our journeys to a healthier, more enriching lifestyle! :biggrin:

[NurseShay 24]

Mamadot thanks for starting this thread reading it really helped me finalize & feel confident with my decision to go ahead with this surgery. And congrats on your awesome weightloss victory. You are a true testiment to what the lap band can do. =)

[Rsilversea 2]

My most embarrassing moment happened years ago when I was still in the military. I was showing a journalist around and when we got on board a boat, I heard my pants rip. I have a habit of buying clothes a size too small figuring it will motivate me to lose weight. Well, I had to spend the day with a rip on my rear. Sadly, it wasn't enough to convince me I needed help.

[fritty 0]

I share everyone's pain on this thread. I haven't experienced the airplane extender belt... but there is barely any slack!! As a teacher, I often hear students make comments. BUT, two things come to mind

:sad:I have a picture on my desk of my fiancee and I at a high school dance. Many kids have commented on it, but one kid picked it up and said, "is this you?? you were so pretty"... WERE... when I called him out about the "were" part, he tried to say I'm still pretty, but I didn't buy it.

:sad:Everytime I get my haircut, my hair stylist (who is also a friend) makes comments about how I can lose weight. He'll tell me about something another client of his did, how he's worried about me, etc. It wouldn't be so bad, but everytime he says stuff it's when my fiancee is also there getting his haircut! I know my fiancee doesn't care, but it's still mortifying.

I can't wait until May 3rd!

[sunnysandy 0]

While I share everyones stories...you all have brought me many laughs and tears. Knowing that the end of my heavy days are near gives me such pleasure.

Well here are a few that I have been able to think dig up in my thoughts of unsurpressed memories

:thumbup: Went wedding dress shopping.. only able to try the dresses with clips on my clothing..at klienfleds..until theysent in a team of people like 5 and came up with an idea..they would make a muslin and then make the dress because they didn't go up to my size. - WHICH WAS 22

Well...I knew plenty of other places had that size ...so needless to say we took our business elsewhere...and they treated me wonderfully. Ironically they had the nerve to call me a few days later with a price and wondering if I had given it any thought..I know in some respect they were trying but they made me feel horrible..that is why the show about the dresses is so true.

:thumbup: I really was dead set against getting a video for my wedding because the last thing i wanted to see was me in video...I did get it..however 1.5yrs later...haven't yet finished my album and all the stuff needed for the video. I figure if I see it once I have the surgery I won't feel so dissappointed even though I love my pictures...I know I am not going to love the video. However, I know there will be people that have passed away and I will be grateful in the years to come...as I was convinced by a girlfriend

:blushing:Last time my husband and I went tubing on our boat together..we were on the tube that is needless to say called "BIG MABLE" and because of our weight it was tipping us back and holding the engine on the boat back....oo we don't do that together anymore--esp since we had a boat full of friends luckily they just didn't get it or let on ..that they knew.

:glare: Everytime I go to get my hair done ...the place likes you to take off your shirt and put on the robe...well it takes me to try on about 3 before i realize..I am leaving my shirt on and just putting this over it..then the mirrors you have to sit in front of are full length so you see every bit of rolls everywhere ....while the place is a high end salon..its always so stressfull..because I always feel so unconfortable - you would think these places would be a lil more sensitive to people that are not a one size fits all.... Even if you go for a massage..the robes are way to small.

Well thank you all for sharing.....its nice to know other people have similiar stories.

[merrywait 0]

Ah where to begin...

:eek:watching my husband folding my underware

:crying:not being able to run after my daughter's art work when it blew into the street

:glare:rolling into the Water to get out of a kayak because I couldn't get up to the dock or lift myself

:mad:people's looks when i eat anything at all

[deb_ladyrose 0]

It so nice to know that you are not alone in this:thumbup:

My most embarrassing moments all came last summer:

1. I was in a destination wedding for my best friend ( who had LAP-BAND®® several years ago ) Months before i had bought a beautiful dress in the largest size they made of course. It looked like the dress from Titanic only the underlying was a cream satin and the lace over was black. Well day of the wedding i had on the super support control top hose, Spanx and still looked horrible in such a beautiful dress!!! You could see every roll and the silky satin just emphasized the issue!!!

2. On the same trip one of our stops was the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. Me and my finance decided to do this excursion. Well after being dropped off at the door of the resort it was like a freakin' 5 mile hike just to get to the Water park area!! By the time we got there i was totally out of breath... i also have really bad hip pain ( prob due to my weight ) and was miserable. My fiance went off and found us a locker. The worst part of the day was him having to be my guide. We would take off to go somewhere and end up at a dead end and have to back track. He started finding the way first and then would come back and get me :thumbup: He was a trooper I felt like CRAP!!

3. In July of the same summer I had to take my oldest to Texas A&M to register and get everything set up for his first yr there. Ok did i mention this was JULY IN TEXAS as if that wasn't enough we of course had to walk all over campus. He was great about it though and walked at my pace. The one that really got me though was when we met with the School of Engineering. We met at a location by Kyle field that we had been meeting at for several different things so that hadn't been too bad BUT after that meeting they broke the students up into which area of engineering they were specializing in and then took them to a different location. OUR LOCATION WAS COMPLETELY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMPUS WALKING WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE I HAD TO STAY UP WITH THEM. I seriously thought i was going to have a heart attack and die before we ever made it. My son kept asking if i was ok? I lied and said yes but what i was really thinking was " OMG I am going to have a heart attack right here and they are going to have to call the paramedics I am going to totally embarrass my son!!!! We made it to our location and honestly i don't know how i did but i was dripping sweat and could of used some oxygen! He had to stay at that location for a meeting that just involved students so it was up to me to get back across campus by myself which was a good thing because i had to stop ALOT before i made it across

That was my "aha" summer. I was banded last Friday 4/9/10 and can't wait to visit him now at A&M and my fiance and I are looking into honeymooning in Italy something i would of never been able to do w/o surgery due to all the walking

It is so nice to know that you are not alone in this...thanks for sharing all of your stories

[MLBL 2]

We were eating at Texas Road House and my daughter picked up a round peanut and said "this is the same shape as you". A few months before she had told me "Mommy, it's ok. You aren't the only fat lady in the neighborhood. You know, Miss Christy.." She was trying to be sweet but it came out in such a bad way. :cool:

[Nickel 0]

I can totally relate to so many of these stories. This thread has brought me to tears a few times today.

Here are some from my childhood that stick with me to this day. In 7th grade I had 3 terrible events…

1) One of my best friends was really large and when we were in health class there was a strange noise coming from the floor above us in the school. Then some rude boys said it must be XXX in the bathroom (referring to my friend). I couldn’t believe they said that.

2) Also, that was the year my father started referring to my friend as 2-Ton Tony instead of her name. And to think that now I am bigger than she ever was.

3) Then there was the cute boy I had a crush on who sent a boy to bring me a note before school started one morning. I was cautiously hopeful that it actually said something nice. But instead, he had drawn a picture of a whale and put my name underneath it. I kept that note for YEARS in my wallet as a reminder of how worthless I must really be.

Wearing a size 14 in junior high (just barely) and this was before there were a lot more plus sized options.

My freshman year in high school they weighed us in FRONT of the rest of our gym class (boys too) on one of those scales with the sliding weights. I was the only girl who had to have the weight slid over to 150 just to start. I was probably about 165 then and god what I wouldn’t give to weigh that now.

My mother told me when I was in high school that if I lost enough weight she would buy me a whole new wardrobe. She wasn’t trying to be mean, but it was so hurtful for your own (petite) mother to say that.

I also remember being teased so much in elementary school that I would come home crying and telling my mother that I just wanted to die. No little kid should ever have to go through that or think such an awful thing.

I used to get hungry when I was young even after dinner was over and sometimes I would sneak food. One of my favorites was to eat from the block of Velveeta in the fridge. When I was afraid someone would walk in I wouldn’t even cut it off but actually bite it. My mother confronted me one day when she saw the ‘teeth’ marks in the cheese.

Gosh, it is so sad to think about all the trauma and self consciousness associated to my weight over the years. I want to be strong and healthy. I want to shop anywhere I darn well please. I want to be judged by something more than my weight for ONCE in my life.