Occassionally, I run across a few posts from people like me who have failed their bands. But these posts are usually just a venting opportunity. I have failed my band - I acknowledge it - and it would be great if we could have a group of other "failures" who want to work together to become success stories.

MY STORY

I was banded in March of 2007. At the time I was 299 lbs. I am a 6ft tall lady. Today, I weigh 255, and basically just as big as I was when I got my band. I have got numerous fills and I usually eat through my fiils. I can eat whatever I want. I overeat and I am confident that I have caused my stomach to expand. I snack on candy, I eat the wrong foods - I eat until I am STUFFED. Sometimes when I overeat, I feel sick and gag to relieve the pressure.

I moved to Houston 4 months ago, and last week, I went in for a port-readjustment with Dr Alanis. It went well and I now have a new resolve to make it work. My doctor mentioned to me that about 40% of all bandsters fail. I do not want to be a failure. I have paid too much money to go through this.

MY GOAL FOR DECEMBER

• To write everything I eat down, including calories
  
• To stay within 1500 Calories.
  

What's your story? What's your goal? How can I support you? How can we support each other?

Misery loves company, and company can help us move from failure to success. Please join me by telling me your story, and your GOAL for December. Let's vent - but more importantly, let's talk about strategies to make this work - let's share and support each other - Let's turn this from failure to success.

I REFUSE TO BE A FAILURE

i am wondering how much of the reluctance to give up ones weight is emotional and that it is emotionally safer to have a covering from the outside world. my surgeon insists on a psycologists report before he will operate and I know I have a real fear of how I will cope with the ultimate challenge of being thin again. (this is the ultimate aim of banding after all).

I have been opened on 18th december but he was unable to band me but hopefully this will occure on 14 January so I have had to cope with 6 weeks of pre op dieting.

I will cope with the ultimate challenge of being thin again. (this is the ultimate aim of banding after all).

Never having been THIN I also face this challenge. My smallest weight since I was a teenager was 202 so I am very fearful of what the future might hold for me. I will be rooting for you and hope you will keep in touch.

Happy New Year to All. Today at the urging of a LBTer I'm joining in. I have had a bad year and need to get back on track. I started the pouch test today, most of the day went well,,,until I had to fix dinner for the family. Before I knew it, or thought about it, I was stuffing raw veggies in my mouth ending with a couple of cookies. I'm not going to beat myself up, just get up brush myself off and start/try/succeed again tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day..

Happy New Year to All. Today at the urging of a LBTer I'm joining in. I have had a bad year and need to get back on track. I started the pouch test today, most of the day went well,,,until I had to fix dinner for the family. Before I knew it, or thought about it, I was stuffing raw veggies in my mouth ending with a couple of Cookies. I'm not going to beat myself up, just get up brush myself off and start/try/succeed again tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day..

Welcome and know that we are all here to support you. I am new at this but I am sure that I will need all the support I can get. So hang in and take it one day at a time.

Hi Music,

I hear you on the holidays!!! If it is tough for us bandsters, imagine how much tougher it is for the unbanded.

I am so excited for you. Your appointment is on Friday? WOW - what a great way to start the new year. Are you self-pay or will your insurance be paying?

You know what, I am confident that you will be EXTREMELY successful on the band. you have taken the time to research and read people's experience, and join LBT before hand. I wish I had done this before my surgery, to set the right expectations. I think you are going in with the right expectations and right frame of mind which will likely make you more successful as a bandster.

Don't be scared - you have done your research and all of us have successfully gone through the surgery. You will be under of course. When I woke up from the surgery, I had extreme nausea. It was REALLY BAD for about 3 days then started subsiding. Of course I was on anti-nausea medication. The first few weeks were really tough as well since I had to be on a post op diets of liquids for a couple of weeks and let me tell you - it was ROUGH. In fact, I cheated and didnt follow the dr's orders, which I think led me to this point. My advice for you is to follow the dr's orders.

Pain for me wasnt that bad. sometimes when driving if I hit a bump it would hurt. But the pain meds really helped and I was quickly able to resume life as normal. In fact, I went back to work in about a week.

My old scars have almost disappeared. Of course I have two new scars from the recent surgeries. But my old ones healed really well and shrunk over time. Your experience with scars will largely be dictated by your skin - whether you scar easily or not and of course, the size of your incisions. You will likely have 3-5 initial incisions of varying size. The incision where your port goes will be the largest incision. I would ask the surgeon where he/she intends to place the port.

I am so excited for you. please let us know how the appointment goes with the surgeon. Also, I would take a list of questions to ask the surgeon - dont be shy - write them down and make sure he/she answers all your questions. And ensure that you are comfortable with the surgeon as you will be having a long-term relationship with them. Ask them about fills, how often they give them, how they are given, who gives them, size of the band, etc. Even ask them about scarring!!!

I'm so excited for you to begin the WL journey!!!:confused:

hey Tabithan, thanks SO much for the words of encouragement. Knowing how your experience went really helps me to not be so scared. Especially knowing about the nausea and the post surgery diet stuff is really helpful.

I'm keeping a running document on what to ask the doctor and the people at BIDMC so I will add the "port site" question to that list. Thank you again.

Hope everyone's New Years' Eve went well!

-music

i am wondering how much of the reluctance to give up ones weight is emotional and that it is emotionally safer to have a covering from the outside world. my surgeon insists on a psycologists report before he will operate and I know I have a real fear of how I will cope with the ultimate challenge of being thin again. (this is the ultimate aim of banding after all).

I have been opened on 18th december but he was unable to band me but hopefully this will occure on 14 January so I have had to cope with 6 weeks of pre op dieting.

Wow, JP & Miranda I think about this very thing sooo much.

I remember, the times when I dieted and got down to about 180. I felt so good and knew that I looked much better. i kept thinking "why didn't I stay there?" "what made me gain the weight back"?

I know, for me, my weight has always been a security blanket. My protection from everything external that I couldn't control. food became a gift I gave myself, especially because I was always taking care of others.

I'm undertaking this process because lately I've noticed a severe disconnect between my food and my body. I never eat because I'm hungry. Sometimes, I'll even notice that I've eaten something unhealthy without even noticing that I've eaten it. For instance, a day will go by while I'm at work and I've had Cookies, chips, soda, a bad lunch. At the end of the day, I have had to really struggle to think "wait, what did I eat today? when was that?"

People say that your weight gain just sort of "sneaks up on you". I know that it doesn't sneak up on me, it's more like when I start to gain weight, I know that in the past, I start doing stuff like Tabithan mentioned a while ago. I stop signing into whatever site that helps me (for me it was sparkpeople.com). I stay far away from the gym and wear clothes to try to hide it.

Now, when I think about this new process of getting banded, I know that I'm deciding to do this because I don't want to hide from myself anymore. Does that make sense? Even the fact that you came on here, Miranda, and spoke about your feelings is such a huge step. It's so hard to speak aloud the fears that you whisper only to yourself.

My struggle to give up my weight. To actually "see" myself without my security blanket. That's absolutely emotional.

I hope that I can find a group of people to talk to. Like I can talk here. Again I say, if anyone's in Massachusetts and wants to meet, I'm open.

Good luck with your pre-op diet, Miranda. I start tomorrow and I'm nervous, too :confused:.

-music

Wow, JP & Miranda I think about this very thing sooo much.

I remember, the times when I dieted and got down to about 180. I felt so good and knew that I looked much better. i kept thinking "why didn't I stay there?" "what made me gain the weight back"?

I know, for me, my weight has always been a security blanket. My protection from everything external that I couldn't control. food became a gift I gave myself, especially because I was always taking care of others.

I'm undertaking this process because lately I've noticed a severe disconnect between my food and my body. I never eat because I'm hungry. Sometimes, I'll even notice that I've eaten something unhealthy without even noticing that I've eaten it. For instance, a day will go by while I'm at work and I've had Cookies, chips, soda, a bad lunch. At the end of the day, I have had to really struggle to think "wait, what did I eat today? when was that?"

People say that your weight gain just sort of "sneaks up on you". I know that it doesn't sneak up on me, it's more like when I start to gain weight, I know that in the past, I start doing stuff like Tabithan mentioned a while ago. I stop signing into whatever site that helps me (for me it was sparkpeople.com). I stay far away from the gym and wear clothes to try to hide it.

Now, when I think about this new process of getting banded, I know that I'm deciding to do this because I don't want to hide from myself anymore. Does that make sense? Even the fact that you came on here, Miranda, and spoke about your feelings is such a huge step. It's so hard to speak aloud the fears that you whisper only to yourself.

My struggle to give up my weight. To actually "see" myself without my security blanket. That's absolutely emotional.

I hope that I can find a group of people to talk to. Like I can talk here. Again I say, if anyone's in Massachusetts and wants to meet, I'm open.

Good luck with your pre-op diet, Miranda. I start tomorrow and I'm nervous, too :confused:.

-music

i am beginning to take the oposite view and gain as much knowledge and interest as I can as I plunge towards the Banding on 14th January. I log everything I eat every day, good bad or indifferent. I know so much about banding and the use of it as a tool I could do the operation myself and set up a nutrition clinic. knowledge is strength.

I had a bad day yesterday, too hot (I live in New Zealand)too much traffic etc and I wanted a meat pie the NZ icon, so I bought the pie, thought of the angry feelings that had made me want the pie and tried to learn from the experience. Insidentially i smelt it lovingly and threw it away, would have made the days calorie count look terrible!!!!

I dont want to die fat but will cope with the feelings of thinness as they come and they had better!!! one person said that the feelings creep up slowly so it is easy to cope with them. but do explore some of your emotional baggage as well if you can bare to.

Hi everyone! Well...I had my port revision on Tuesday the 30th and I'm back at work today. The surgeon gave me a 1cc fill during the revision and I'm aggravated because I STILL do not have restriction! It feels like I don't even have a band! Arrrggggg!!!! I'm at 6cc in a 10cc band. I'm calling this morning to set my appointment for my next fill. I want to get on with this weight loss thing! lol!

Just wanted everyone to know the revision surgery went well and I'm having very little pain. I haven't been writing my food down since I'm still on soft foods through this weekend, but I'm planning to start writing EVERYTHING down on Monday.

Happy New Year! Let's make 2009 the time to shine!!!

Elizabeth

Hi everyone! Well...I had my port revision on Tuesday the 30th and I'm back at work today.

Elizabeth wishing you the best. Let us know how you do. I am also back at work today. I was banded on Dec 24th and am trying to support all the folks who have been on this journey longer than I have. I hope you all the best.

Hi Everyone,

I am back and I do have to report that from a BAND perspective, I started my new year in the GUTTER. On Dec 31st - I ate well all day until around 8pm when I went for a new year's party. All the day's good work went down the drain. Then yesterday, it was an eat fest!!! The good news is that while I could eat big quantities, I felt the satiety long term.

BUT - Today is a new day, new weak. I already know that holidays are bad for me as my self control is not in check, but I am always able to pick myself right back up, post on this forum and have a couple good weeks which are always accompanied by weight loss (so far.)

so as of today, I am back on track. I too am doing the 5 day pouch test diet to help me recover from the too day binge. Today is day 1 of the diet. Will let you know how it goes.:biggrin:

I am frustrated now. I had to return to the hospital due to an "unidentifiable" infection. I was in there for 4 days on IV antibiotics with infection and nausea. I finally returned home yesterday. I am SO glad to be out of there. Left in better condition than I went in except for the VEIN THE NURSE BLEW MY LAST NIGHT THERE BY GIVING ME A SHOT OF PHENERGAN WITHOUT DILUTING IT!!!!! I cried for 30 min. from that dang shot and my hand is still swollen and red. Now that I am home, I am feeling better and am able to sleep. I still don't want to eat and that has me concerned. I really think I should have had an unfill before surgery. It probably would have made my recovery easier.

Good luck to everyone! Keep focused!:biggrin:

How are you doing today, Crzytchr?? How is the nausea? are you able to eat? Overall, how are you feeling? hoping for the best.

i am wondering how much of the reluctance to give up ones weight is emotional and that it is emotionally safer to have a covering from the outside world. my surgeon insists on a psycologists report before he will operate and I know I have a real fear of how I will cope with the ultimate challenge of being thin again. (this is the ultimate aim of banding after all).

I have been opened on 18th december but he was unable to band me but hopefully this will occure on 14 January so I have had to cope with 6 weeks of pre op dieting.

Hi Miranda,

Hope you had a GREAT beginning to this year!! I'm excited for you and the fact that you will soon be banded!! Wuhuuu - welcome SOON to bandland. May I ask why they didnt band the first time? I've heard of some surgeons not banding because the liver hasn't shrunk enough.

I think you are on to something. Even as a little girl, I was always pudgy. Pretty much all my life despite stints of athleticism. I wonder if a part of me self sabotages because I cannot handle being thing, being accepted, being a center of attention, etc. Really good point that I need to ponder.

EVERYONE - Yesterday I was at a party and we started somehow talking about weight which led to obesity and weight loss surgery. Of course, no one at the table knew I was banded. One of the skinny ladies at the table vehemently insisted that people get obese because they are lazy - how did they let themselves get there? that banding is a lazy way out, and getting obese is a CHOICE. Tried to explain to her the addiction behind it but she was very VEHEMENT. I felt a little outraged by her perspective. Little did she know...if all I needed to do was "say no" and all my weight sorrows would go away, wouldn't I have waved that magic wand years ago???

Edited January 2, 200917 yr by Tabithan

Happy New Year to All. Today at the urging of a LBTer I'm joining in. I have had a bad year and need to get back on track. I started the pouch test today, most of the day went well,,,until I had to fix dinner for the family. Before I knew it, or thought about it, I was stuffing raw veggies in my mouth ending with a couple of Cookies. I'm not going to beat myself up, just get up brush myself off and start/try/succeed again tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day..

Welcome, welcome, welcome, Kaelin's G MA!! We are so glad you have joined us!! Congratulations on a good start this year - joining a thread with fellow strugglers and beginning the pouch test. I too began the 5 day pouch test diet today, so let's support each other through the toughest part - the 2 days of LIQUIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 :biggrin: I particularly chose today so that by Monday when I go back to work, I am back to solids and normalcy. :tongue:

Dont feel too bad about the veggies at the end of the day. We wouldnt be where we were today weight wise, if we always made the right food choices. But in order to keep the weight off, we need to make good food choices more often than not. I applaud on on the good start, and challenge you to continue to stick to the 5 day pouch test. It is JUST 5 days. I know I will want to faulter too, and if I do, I will post here as well. :confused:

Posting here on an extremely regular basis has really helped me get back on track and begin losing the weight, despite my occasional falls. It has helped me make good decisions 80% of the time, which is better than the 10% the past year. Please use this as a regular forum to post when things go well - we will Celebrate with you, and when you are struggling - we will help pick you up.

Again, welcome, and we look forward to getting to know you!!!!

hey Music,

Happy new year to you, and ALL! Please let us know HOW your appointment with the surgeon went today. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi All, I really want to tell you that I appreciate your posts and how REAL they are. Not all of us are super losers. And I know that if I tell you my problems I'm not going just going to hear, "suck it up and get on with it", (ok, I admit - I think I DO need to hear that in some respects).

This is my story. After 9 months I finally know what restriction is. I know why I have to chew slowly, why I can't drink Water when I'm eating, etc. Before, my band was not working for me. Or rather I didn't get the fills (the new nurse missed my port when giving me fills and I ended up only having 3cc in a 9cc). So I didn't have the band for the longest time and now I do. This is how I feel - I've been banded since Feb -08 but have only been "banded" since the end of October.

So here it is - I'm in the middle of this anger/poor me cycle 'cause of the no fills and have slipped away from what is important - committing to myself, getting on the band wagon of weight loss. I know what I need to do is dust myself off and tell myself that today is a new day and I'm on my way again. I've slipped so far away from what I NEED to be doing - watching the clock when eating, etc.

One good thing, tho, is that I'm HAVING to listen to my band since my last fill ( a week ago ). Maybe this will send me on my way.

Has this happened to any of you - the no fill thing? Thanks for your help