Okay so here's a kinda weird post for me.. Do guys actually like bigger girls? I guess some have to, because bigger people have boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.. I guess I just never found any that liked me? This is really awkward for me because I see people who are less attractive than I am (no offense to anyone, and Im not trying to say I'm pretty or anything like that..)..

But I dont get it.. Also tiny itty bitty girls or normal girls go out with BIG guys (no offense to them), it just seems really unfair that big guys can totally be in a relationship no problem, while bigger girls end up being last resorts for most guys, like a hit it and quit it thing..

What are some things I can do to get myself noticed? Seriously, I'm surrounded by people all the time, but I'm beyond lonely right now.. Stupid holidays.. To be honest, I'm a little shy around guys, I crack awkward jokes some times..

anyways, any suggestions from guys or girls would be awesome..

It's cool, this is an open thread, I dont mind/ want to hear other peoples experience with dating and advice.. What worked for them what didn't.. Dating is a complicated thing to be involved in. Thanks for the picture compliment.. I have a pretty face, and hair (well before banding my hair was AWESOME) now my hair is thinner..I have a bigger middle body.. The band has made me more emotional, which sucks, because im not use to being this emotional.. I don't know if I could hide that it bothered me or not.. Has anyone especially you guys become more emotional since being banded? I hear its because of the fat you lose, releases a lot of hormones into your system...

I don't really like bigger guys so I wouldn't think guys really went for bigger chicks I mean there are no fat chicks in playboy.

I don't really like bigger guys so I wouldn't think guys really went for bigger chicks I mean there are no fat chicks in playboy.

everyone has a different preference. playboy only adheres to a certain audience, just like in women's magazines their "hot guys" are all shirtless and muscular. i have dated both big and small, and i have to say i am muchhhh more attracted to bigger guys. i always tell my friends who try to set me up that the guy must be "atleast bigger than me"

but just because he's less attractive to some doesn't make him any less of a Jerky guy. one of the nicest guys ive dated was 6'4" 290ish? and one of the most egotistical and immature guys i've dated was 5'10 280ish. ive also dated two guys that are about 5'11 210? (totally guessing on all these weights but they were of average size-- pants around 34)... well one i'm pretty sure now is gay.... or atleast, in my mind he is haha. the other is not very social and i found that to be unattractive. just like girls, guys are a mystery, and you never know what you will get until you give them a chance!

im sure you are a catch and any guy would be lucky to call you his girlfriend! you just have to put yourself out there. i haven't dated any guys the last year, and i put that on not projecting myself like i want to date anyone.... because i really didn't.

<3 Amethystjade

Trust me, the guys are more than comfortable with the way you look - they just wish you were as comfortable with yourselves as the skinny girls.

Yes Yes Yes! My DH told me this in the beginning of our relationship. You have got to love yourself, for exactly WHO you are, and not what you want to be.

I dont mean to hi-jack the thread, and this may be TMI...

But in the beginning of our relationship my DH had me stand in front of a mirror naked. He pointed out all of the things he loved about my body. Wouldn't you know they were all the things I didnt like. He loved and appreciated every inch, curve, bump, roll and all. Ever since that day I've accepted what I look like, and love myself. Heck, that day changed our relationship for the better...I'm not afraid to be naked around him. I'm not always comfortable in my skin, but I'm not ashamed of it by no means.

When you love yourself you excude a certain kind of confidence that attracts a guy. It may not be the right guy out the gate, but that's what dating is all about!

I have had a weight problem most of my life. As I reached my teen years I become more aware of my weight problem. With this I felt less and less confident and eventually I gave up hope of ever finding "someone."

I went through my phases of crushes and people you talk to and when I was 16 I started dating someone who was 20. He was gorgeous and confident, 150 lbs, but I never really liked him as more than a friend. I think I was so scared that I was missing out on something I would never have the option to have again. I knew all along it was not right but I dated him for 2 years anyway.

Throughout our relationship he put me down, told me how I wasn't good enough for him, and why don't I just go on a diet.( I think I have been on a diet since I was 10...lol) I finally got so sick of it I broke up with him only to find that he was cheating on me the whole time.

Later that year I met a guy at work and we became best friends. I was so in love with him but was afraid to initiate a relationship because of what I had already gone through. He eventually ended up asking me out and we have been together ever since.

He is everything I could ever ask for, and he supports me 100%. He is not a "big" guy, and he is very athletic.

I always tell myself that there are good people out there who are accepting and can love someone no matter what.

Hold your head high hunny, and remember that you are worth finding someone who is going to treat you like you deserve.

Again like it was said before , I have looked at you pictures and you have nothing to worry about. You are a beautiful girl.:grouphug:

Thanks for all the support and advice. I love reading everyone's experience.. It's great that all you have support during this process.

It brings hope that people who know what it feels like to be bigger and have gone through the experience are starting to find the happiness that we all are striving for.. Just remember to hold onto that emotion, because that is what is going to get you through the tough times..

This holiday was a harder one, I can only imagine what Christmas is going to be like.. My family is constantly asking, no boyfriend? I'm like no, no boyfriend.. They are then like what, no cute boys at school or your apartment? I'm like of course there is HOT/cute guys at school and where I live, they just have girlfriends or don't give me a chance yet. Blah.. Oh well..

It's weird/hard to think of how much looks really influence whether we get to know a person..

Reading all these, I find myself getting more happy. In fact the other night, I was looking into the mirror, and I'm finally starting to see the person I once knew.. I found some picture of me getting award from school last May before I had surgery and I was soo disgusted that I ever got to be that big.. The sad thing is, I thought I looked good in that picture.. This band has truly saved my life.. I just need to keep working at it.

Anyways, Thanks again for helping me find some confidence again and help guiding me towards a path of rewarding skinny goals to accomplish.

Edited November 30, 200817 yr by Amethystjade

I wish I could articulate myself as well as smarty mcgee!!

:thumbup:

Jade I totally know what you mean, you think that's bad? Try coming here to aus where the mindset of every guy is size 12, thin, good looking, I have absolutely no chance lol, but luckily their are websites for singles like us, ive tried bbwcupid.com but alot of the chicks are totally bitches on their, you post your email for guys to contact you(cuz you have to pay otherwise) and they get your account reported so you cant do anything and yet if their is a good looking guy on their and he has his email on their, they dont do crap, go figure, maybe we should start a weight loss surgery singles website, actually I would absolutely LOVE if someone started that, that would be the only thing i would be willing to pay for over the net lol

I know its already been said but confidence makes a huge difference! After loosing all that weight I am sure you are beaming with confidence too. I also notice that if you dress nice and show that you care about your body, that really gets a guy going. Yes I am married but my husband still has a wondering eye. He will check out a plus size girl especially if they show confidence in their walk.

As bigger girls I know we can get overlooked easier by some men. That is why its important to take the extra effort to look good!

Also congrats on all your weight loss!

I just went and looked at your pictures. You are hot! Wow, screw my advice of taking care of your looks, you already have that down!

LOL! Thanks, that was a really great compliment! I'm working on the confidence thing... Maybe I should start practicing my slut walk, I mean strut walk... I also should do my hair a lot more than I normally do... I work graveyard so sometimes it just on the go :tongue2:.

I need to get back into the grove.. Im going for a fill first week of jan. That should help!

mmmhmmm mmmhmm mmmmhmmm tell us more about this slut err I mean strut walk.

LOL! Thanks, that was a really great compliment! I'm working on the confidence thing... Maybe I should start practicing my slut walk, I mean strut walk... I also should do my hair a lot more than I normally do... I work graveyard so sometimes it just on the go :thumbup:.

I need to get back into the grove.. Im going for a fill first week of jan. That should help!

:shades_smile:Keep up the good work you are doing great. It is hard to be motivated on the graveyard shift I know this to be a fact.

The confidence will come right along with those results the more the results the stronger your confidence will become. It wont hurt to put a little bounce in your step confidence is sexy and the happier you are with your self the hotter you will be.

Working graveyard does play a big role in being stuck for weight loss.. I sit a lot, I get bored so I eat or snack.. Which i've been nipping in the butt..Plus its harder to go out and meet people when your working at night.. I'll be 21 soon so theres that whole bar scene, but who really meets a good partner at a bar?

I got this awesome new wii game, the outdoor activity challenge.. I get into this really bad and play for hours! I think I am going to bring this to work with me every night and play it for a few hours! I am really excited about this.. I thinkk this is going to help my plateau.

I also made another fill appointment for jan 5th, I am really excited. That week a bunch of people are going to meet in denver for dinner.. I'm really excited to meet others that were banded by my doctor too.

I'm pretty much done with the semester next week and I can't wait! I am going to go have a lot more fun than I've been having the last month.. Maybe I'll go on a single guy hunt! I'm more of a chaser than the hunted, but who knows =) that may change.

I havent read through this whole thread, but I did want to put my two cents in.

The guy I dated for five years had always dated skinnier chicks before me. I was 180 when I started dating him back in April 2000, but thanks to Depo Provera (the birth control shot) I gained all the way up to 270 before we broke up and then 306 before I started my pre-op diet. The girl he dated/had a kid with after me is also definitely a "bigger girl". Apparently, once you're attracted to a particular type, that becomes the model of comfort for you and you subconsciously seek it out!

I prefer lean guys, not scrawny, but I've had a crush on a "chubbier" guy as of late. I dont know what it is, but chubbier guys tend to have the BEST sense of humour! My friend Chris was a "fat kid" and lost a lot of weight working for Fedex. Now he runs and is all muscular, but still has that same sense of humour. That's my absolute favourite in someone!!! :3

Oh, but every single guy friend I have likes their women ample in back with a nice round belly. Not an overly fat belly, but a round one that they can nestle into, you know? Rock hard abs are only nice to look at- not nice to get close to.