Hello everyone:

I guess this is a typical case of be careful what you wish for, for when you get it, you may still not be happy. My surgery date is scheduled for December 2nd 2008. I've been wishing, praying, hoping to be able to get banded with the Lap Band for over 2+ years now. Recently everything fell into place as if by a miracle. Money I didn't know I had turned up in a hidden bank CD where the bank didn't have my new address. (for real.. not from a crazy email from Nicaragua :-)) I found a low BMI study near my home that accepts patients under 40BMI and the price is affordable! I found a great follow up center with caring wonderful people. I couldn't ask for more.

Why then am I so depressed? I think finding a solution to one problem only relieves that pain then switch, focus moves to next or real"problem". I am so afraid that I will miss one of my only friends left....food. I realize at night while my husband is watching sports/financial news with the remote in one hand while his laptop in his lap watching like a prey animal for bad news. I am in the other rooms of the house escaping with a book or TV and you guess it my friend food. I am so afraid of losing this loyal friend who I know eventually will ask for my health in return for friendship. Currently I'm not working....I switched careers at age 49!! ...what was I thinking. I am bored and lonely lately and dealing with a puberty stricken 12 year old girl who hates me most of the time. This girl, my dd, was a living doll who idolized me up until last year. I probably spent too much time making her life wonderful while I forgot about mine. Oh and my parents and sibs are gone, friends moved away, I'm an older mom and no longer a person everyone wanted to be friends with...being older and overweight doesn't help matters, I have no one with kids to bounce things off of. On top of it all I'm in the throws of change of life hormones....up, down, up, down. I know my life was pretty cush for the past 7 years so I guess I'm due for a new test. Thanks for letting me ramble and keep me in your prayers- just kidding. Just thanks for letting me take up word space.

With hope and gratitude to all,

M

NO way! Don't sabotage yourself before you even have surgery! You deserve to have everything in this life that you want! Go rent the move the secret....you can get it at block buster, read some books and watch videos of Louise Hay and Ester and Jerry Hicks! You will succeed! :cursing:

I know what some of you mean about switching addictions. My addictions are food, men and shopping! I filed bankrupcy for the 2nd time in July, now I'm having the lp done soon, and I guess I will have to turn to men! But in a more "im 40 now, so don't sleep with eveyrone under the sun" kind of way!

There was a gal in the support group that I attended and she has lost around 80 lbs in 8 months with lapband and she said she still eats ANYTHING she wants just a lot less of it. She is very happy with the surgery and her new outlook on herself. Her words stick with me. Take those negative things you hear and throw them away like a used Kleenex. Keep those good comments and suggestions you hear like diamond ring someone gave you! And by all means, connect with this forum! No need to be lonely when we are all in the same boat headed down that same river! We can and we will have a good life!:cursing:

dear Bell I see I was so self absorbed that day i didn't even congratulate and send you wishes on your upcoming surgery in MX! I was going to do MX with Dr. Rumbaut but found a closer place to me. Who is your surgeon and when is your date? thanks again Bell

I am sitting here blown away reading all your responses with Chris' music playing in the background. I just LOVE, love, love your band! My metabolism's been reaved up tonight - your music, lifted me to another better time. Your website incredible. Your words all have inspired me...Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for this incredible show of support.

For a metabolism/spiritual boost go here Chris Cornell | OFFICIAL SITE

In gratitude,

Mar

When are you scheduled with Dr. Ortiz? I have scheduled for Friday after Thanksgiving. It has taken me 2 years to get here and convince my husband that I have to do this. Exited and nervous but sick of aches and pains in my knees and back!

This may be a duplicate message if so I apologize. I included Chris Cornell's web address and may have been cut.

I am sitting her listening to Chris' amazing music in the background while reading all of the most inspiring, thoughtful, honest, wisdom filled words I've probably ever read personally! My heart is bursting now from all your support. For those who have not been banded yet, I wish you all the wonderful things that you have waiting for you that you so much deserve. Those banded ..thank you for your excellent advice. It is great we can all support each other.

in gratitude

Mar

Currently reading Martha Beck's Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What! Funny brilliant girl she is. On my fifth read of Eckhart Tolle Power of NOw. Recently really feeling the magic of keeping an eye on the mind and not letting it run away with negative hogwash.