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6 month diet troubles, need to vent
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Has anyone gained weight on their 6 month diet? Okay, so on Monday I got in to see my nutritionalist lady for my 4th month of my 6 month diet. Last time I saw her I lost 4 pounds. She was thrilled. I neglected to mention to her that I was violently ill the week prior and I didn't eat for 4 days, so there's the 4 pounds. Well now I'm going to go in there and probably will have gained 10lbs. No joke. If I had a scale that went up to my weight I could tell for sure. I weigh probably about 385.
I'm dreading going to see her. I keep thinking that I will tell her about all my stresses. Filed bankruptcy, repossed car, sick husband, marriage trouble. You know the normal life struggles, but that's just a stupid excuse! I mean, what to I tell her? I suck? I can't loose weight, I love food way too much. I probably shove food in my face to deal with stress. Well, not probably, I do. So I'm just frusterated. I think the worst thing she ever did was let me know that I'm not required to loose any weight before surgery, so I have that in my head, like it doesn't matter what I eat because I only have 2 more months. Like the last supper syndrome, except mine is the last 2 month syndrome. I know I need the band! I know I emotional eat. I know I can loose weight, I have in the past. I know I should love myself more and take care of myself. I know what I should be eating, anyone who's been on a diet before knows what they should be eating. But it's so damn hard to know that you have 2 more months to eat your carbs. I just wish I could start the liquid diet now so I can clean my brain and body of all these toxic foods and thoughts.
Okay how stupid am I? I'm wishing to start the liquid diet? Maybe I should though? I'm not getting anywhere by oinking out, except to get bigger. I seriously keep thinking while I'm suckling down the soda that "just two more months and no more pop". Isn't this wrong? Don't i have the most backwards logic? And I think I'm only getting worse now that I'm freaking about seeing the skinny-hyper nutrionalist. I know she will be dissapointed in me, I'm dissapointed in myself. Has anyone else gained weight while on their 6 month diet? If so, what happened? What did they say?