Pre-Band and thinking I want to have a baby

[MissLynn23 0]

Hello all!

I have had 2 appointments be to be banded. My next appointment is in early December with the surgeon to find out what my pre-surgery goal weight should be. Im in NorCal and have Kaiser...they take FOREVER!!

I am now in an amazing relationship. He and I have been best friends for the last 4 years and been STRICTLY friends. We have been living together for the last year, again strictly as friends we had not even kissed, and on October 1st this year we decided to be more than friends. It has been an AMAZING month!! It was the best decision I have made in my life. We are doing the same things we have always done as friends but now we hold hands and sleep in the same bed :smile2:

Here is the thing....we just started talking, seriously, about having a baby. It may seem really too soon but I know I have found my lifetime partner. We obviously know we get along and love each other and can live together :thumbup:

My questions are...

Do we wait until after surgery or before to have a baby?

How long after surgery would I have to wait to get pregnant?

What are the risks of having it before or after?

I think if it were up to him we would be pregnant already but he also knows how important being banded is to me and is 100% supportive.

Any advise or life experiences will be helpful!

[ckelly37 1]

well 1st things 1st congrats on finding ur lifetime partner!! a couple of questions for u..how much do u weigh/height? i was told we had to wait 18 months to 2 yrs to get pregnant..there are people on here who got preggers right away after losing some weight there are some people who were told by there doctors to start trying..if u feel u want to lose weight 1st u should and then get preggers...if u can afford to gain more weight with pregnancy its up to u....if this is what u always wanted (to get banded) then i think u should get the band and wait a little bit to have ur baby (at a healthier state)..whatever u decide good luck to u!

[Daisalana 33]

Risks of having it before are pretty standard.. gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, etc.. all the risks that come with an overweight pregnancy.

Not really sure how to answer you, that's a personal decision. I personally wanted to wait till I lost weight-- I was crippled with back pain due to being overweight, and that was no way to be pregnant! I also was lucky not to have diabetes already and was pretty scared I would get the gestational diabetes. My doc said for RnY it is dangerous for babies early on due to malnutrition, and he has experienced many women having miscarriages due to this. Banders don't have this risk, but we have a lot of mental adjusting to do with the band. Re-learning how to eat healthy and conquer our demons. This also is not the best time to be pregnant.

My doc said for banders, he prefers 1 year out. Some people's docs say no time, some say 2 years.. it varies.

My opinion, because it's what I did, is to wait till post-band, post-decent weight loss, and when you've come to understand how the band is working in your body before introducing something new like.. a baby.

Risks of pregnancy & band.. I think slippage, from being too tight or morning sickness.

These are important things for you to ask your band doc, and obgyn.

Then make the best decision for you.

[Jennie1976 1]

Hi!

I am posting this hoping you won't be offended, and am only saying these things because you asked for opinions.

I would absolutely wait to have a baby. Your profile says you are 30 years old. Waiting a year to a year and a half is not unthinkable, even though I KNOW it seems like it is.

I don't know how much you weigh, but I do know that in order to be approved for weight loss surgery, people have to be pretty overweight. You AND you baby will be healthier if you wait.

On a non-weight note, it might also be better to be a couple a bit longer as well. More time is NEVER a bad idea. It may suck to wait, but it can really help you out in the long run.

Again, not knowing much about you, I can tell you I felt very similar to how you feel right now pre-band. I can only speak from my experience.

I am now 32 years old. I will be 33 when I have my baby (I am 24 weeks pregnant). I got banded September, 2007.

Before I got banded, I had been with my now-husband for 7 years and married for over a year. We had been planning for a baby for ALL that time. We wanted to wait until we had a house, degrees, teaching credentials, jobs, etc. In short, we waited for security...and got it.

Before my surgery, my periods were sporadic. Knowing I wanted to get pregnant about a year after our marriage, I had been tracking my periods/ovulation for that entire time. I knew it would be difficult because my periods were hit and miss.

Also, on a completely superficial note, I knew I was going to just look "fatter", not pregnant.

I was also afraid of pregnancy complications due to weight. I am 5'6". My starting weight was 290 pounds. I was busting out of my size 26s. One of my biggest fears of being pregnant (another superficial one) was finding maternity clothes.

Then I saw and ad on TV for the lap-band surgery. I researched it, and saw that doctors recommended waiting at least a year to get pregnant. Again, like you, I REALLY thought about it. I had been wanting a baby for SOOO long! But, I had to put my family first. I knew that waiting was only going to be beneficial. So, I put my own feelings aside and had the sugery.

Last June, I weighed 204 pounds. I had lost 86 pounds in 9 months. And I had decided that I had waited long enough. I KNOW the doctors say to wait a year, but I made the conscious decision to not listen to them (not that I'm advocating that!).

Since I lost all that weight, my periods had become regular for the first time in my life. I was able to chart my ovulation with great accuracy.

We got pregnant on the first try.

And (WARNING: TMI coming up!), we were trying for a boy, so we only had sex ONCE on the day of my ovulation. It wasn't all that likely that we were going to get pregnant. I am absolutely convinced that, had I not lost the weight, we would STILL be trying.

I KNOW this is an incredibly long reply, but I just want to make sure you see the benefits of waiting. I KNOW how hard it is. I WAS THERE! And I'm telling you with all the certainty God gave me that you should wait.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!

[Daisalana 33]

So I have to know, are you having a boy??

[Jennie1976 1]

We're not going to find out!!! We decided to wait until he/she is here. IT'S HARD TO WAIT! I'm high risk so I have ultrasounds every six weeks. It's so hard when you KNOW the ultrasound tech knows and you don't!!!!!!

AHHHHH! Can you feel my frustration! :-)

[HeatherO 7]

I think it is better to wait in my opinion. Better health leads to a better pregnancy and a healthier mother and baby.

If you have found your soul mate, then waiting a little while will not hurt. It is better for a new relationship not to have a baby immediately . . . life will be very different once the baby comes. Take a little time to enjoy each other and being in each other's lives. 1-2 years won't make a difference if it is meant to be . . . but it is not always good to make a life-altering decision in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. You still have plenty of time to get pregnant at your age.