I am not afraid, and I've never been more sure in my life that this is the right thing for me to do, but there are times when I am just over whelmed with the whole process. I have seen the pictures, talked to those who are successes, read about those who are not. But the reality that this one thing is going to change my is so huge.

I am tired of being fat and getting winded walking up stairs. I am tired of seeing my blood surgar rise even if I eat nothing. I am tired of swelling of my legs and ankles and not ever feeling full. I am so ready for this step. I know once I loose even 10 pounds walking is going to be much easier and believe it or not, I look forward to "restriction". My future was in the hands of the insurance companies then the surgeon and now the Shrink. I am at their mercy, be it approving me for the Band or changing my date.

I feel like I have lost control, every time I try to get control back, something else happens. I am so glad there are those who will go first and I am looking forward to hearing ALL THE DETAILS. I guess it is all that great unknown. Scary, but unbelieveably exciting.

HEY - sounds almost like a roller coaster ride!

Thanks for being there, even when I don't really make sense :thumbup:

I have not slept since I got my approval on last Tuesady! I have been working on this for 8 months and now that it is a reality, it does kind of scare me. I am not scared about the actual procedure, but making sure I do all of the other things right is making me crazy. I have a month still. UGGHGHGH!!To top that off, I have only now begun to tell anyone about it, and one of my very heavy "friends" gave me the riot act about having the surgery. I was disappointed in her, but understand too that she is not at the point I am in being ready to make a change. It does not help that she works at a hospital that does banding and she only remembers the people that come back with problems!! I think I am just going to keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone else for now. Tamara

yES, YES, YES, getting a little anxious about it all, and have a deep seeded fear "what if I can't be a success at this?" "what if it works for everybody but me?", but then I think rationally about how much education I have had about this, and that I know what steps to take to ensure success.

we can do this!!

I am sooo ready! I will see the nutritionist about 2 weeks before my surgery. I don't think my dr. does an extensive preop diet so I am gonna put myself on one starting this Tuesday (that gives 3 weeks before surgery). Here is my plan for my self induced pre op diet:

Week 1: High Protein low carb (Atkins type); High Water intake

Week 2: High Protein low carb ; " " " "

Week 3: All liquid; high protein , low carb shakes

I am soo open for suggestions on this!

You don't know how relieved I am. Your fears are my fears. We have the same problems telling some of our friends. I knew we all share a special bond, and this is not the first time this has happened, but it's like your words are from my brain. It is amazing that so many people from different walks in life share so much.

Okay, maybe now we just need to get these out in the open, because obviously more of us are thinking the exact same things, but we are afraid to say anything. I cannot tell you how afraid I was to even post this. I thought I was the only one having the occasional "what if I can't be a success at this?" "what if it works for everybody but me?" thoughts.

And you are right, we need to be educated and prepared. I guess the Doctors are right, we do need a support group of people who understand what we are going through.

As for the friends who do not share our vision of the future - the Lap Band. All I can say is, they are not in our shoes and they do not understand. They do not understand what has taken us to this place, down this path. All we can do is share and hope they understand, if they don't, perhaps it is not our place to change their minds. We are educated and we know the risks of both doing it and the risk of not doing it. I know where I will be in a few years if I do not have the Lap Band.

Right now, maybe this is the time in our lives when we have to be self centered and think of us first. I have always considered the feelings of others, tried to be the peace maker. This time, well, it's my turn to do for me.

I am so gratefull you are all out there. Thanks Just knowing I am not the only one has eased a lot of my nervousness. :-)

Well said, Deb. We all know what life will be like 1 month, 6 months, or 1 year ahead if we do NOT get the band. It will be more of the same, which we are not willing to continue.

You have a great attitude and are going to do super!!

i am excited but terrified at the same time...if i did not have diabetes, high blood pressure, pcos, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea...i don't know if i would do it...meaning i have been fat all my life, but i want to be healthy so badly...tired of watching life from the sidelines...and i think it's also good for people who don't have all of the comorbidities, yet... as a tool of prevention...but for me personally i am only doing this to hopefully get rid of health probs and hopefully get pregnant...have infertility issues as well that i am hoping losing the weight will cure...having a lot of emotional issues and questions popping up, so this is going to be quite the journey...

i have those same fears...plus i keep putting myself down...like for example: i have defended the many reasons i can't lose weight to so many people for so many years...now i find myself having to defend me to me....and i too worry what a failure i will be if this doesn't work....or what if i only lose 20 pounds in a year??? but then i just have to have faith...hope i wasn't too negative or too honest about my feelings...it comes and goes...

surgery september 11th

I think if we're all honest, we'd all admit to these feelings.

I know right now they run my life. Pretty badly right now.

Some of my friends are semi supportive, my bf isn't. He doesn't change, and he won't be my bf. Period! I have one that is scared she's gonna be the "fat friend" now. I've been bigger than her weight wise for years. But I carry it better than she. She wears a size 24, I wear an 18 now. But I weigh 20 pounds more. Not for long!

I think the only person real negitive about it is my father. He actually told me I'd fail. That makes me so damn angry.

teri

Teri,

You can't make eveyone happy. Take care of yourself and everthing will fall into place. You may loose a freind, but I think sometimes we have fat freinds for the same reason alcholics have drinking buddies. Someone to share in the misery. You know, someone to binge with. Your Dad, hey we are just Parents and we are not Perfect (well I may be - yeah right). He will come along. Give hime time. You need to do this for you - not anyone else.

my dad will come around, but my sister is really getting to me. I've spent the last two hours changing passwords everywhere I go. Plus closing and deleting my blog. Because she is reading it and criticing all I am writing. Even joined obestityhelp.com to stalk me.

Teri

my dad will come around, but my sister is really getting to me. I've spent the last two hours changing passwords everywhere I go. Plus closing and deleting my blog. Because she is reading it and criticing all I am writing. Even joined obestityhelp.com to stalk me.

Teri

Teri

Your Sister has more problems than your lap band. Perhaps SHE is the one who needs the Psyc Consult. She can have my appointment :tongue:

But really, there is something wrong there. It is viscious of her to interfere in your most personal thoughts. Plus, what pleasure can she get. You might want to consider just ignoring all she does. Trust me, someone starts bashing you in our group and we will have your back! Obviously she is threatened with your future. I know, families can be difficult, but just know we are all there for you. Debbie

Deb, I second that! Teri, Push on girl!

Oh trust me I haven't come this far to let her stop me. She wanted me to abort the twins, and well they're 2 and a half years old now. She wanted me to give my oldest son to her to raise... and well he's sitting next to me right now. I love my kids, and I love my family, I just don't like her right now. And that's ok.

Funny thing is I used to eat like crazy when i was this upset... not now. Course I've knitted nearly half a scarf today :tongue:

teri

have you and your sister always had issues or is it new? and is she over weight or not? just curious, trying to figure her out a little bit...cause that's just terrible...and...

that is the one thing i am trying to figure out....a hobby??? i can't sew, i can't draw, yada yada yada...i keep telling everybody at work i am going to have to turn to drugs or alcohol or shopping...just kidding though, but i am seriously wondering what i am going to do...i thought about starting a candle making project and sell them at work...but i don't know, maybe take a class or something...

i know one huge fear i have is the fact that i threw up 3, rather violently, times after my gallbladder was removed...so i am just scared to death that i will throw up and cause the band to slip...my doc says that it's not a good thing that i threw up, so he is going to give me even more anti nausea meds than i had before....