As my date grows closer, I am leaning toward only telling a few close friends about my surgery. I suppose this is due to embarassment, that I could not lose weight the "normal" way, whatever that means. Also, I've had a lifetime of comments from family, and just do not want to go there.

Is anybody else hesitating to spill the beans to friends, coworkers, etc?

Hi I told everybody except the cute guy I work with he just thinks I'm working out a lot..

I told only the one person that helped me recoup for a couple days till I could do it on my own. I am your same age and in Denver too. I have Dr. Kirshenbaum. Paid cash never looking back at it as anything but money well spent no matter what the outcome. I need to get down to the real me again.

Hi there, I have only told my husband, mom, and sister!! None of my friends or co-workers know. I really don't feel like it is anyones business but mine. I don't want people watching me like a hawk to see if I slip up...or talking behind my back that I took the easy way out. This is just a very personal journey for me. Maybe someday I will share with others....but for now it is my secret.

I only plan on telling my husband. No one else..not my parents or friends. If I could get away with having the surgery and not telling my husband...I would!! But I can't have a surgery and not tell him.

I've decided not to tell anyone other than my family for now anyway. I want to stay positive and do not want the pressure of people watching to see if I am getting smaller or what I am eating etc. Just don't think I need the outside influences of people who do not understand what I am going through.

Deb

Thanks everyone for your comments. It makes me feel better to know that the rest of you have the same perspective about keeping this confidential.

Good luck all, I am so glad that we have each other for support!

I told anyone who cared to listen. I've had a lifetime of keeping secrets and found that whether it's secret worthy or not, the secrets only hurt the ones that keep them. I have to admit that I've been rather surprised at the response. I expected guarded responses (judgmental responses aimed at seeming neutral) but I received very positive responses such as "I'm so proud of you!" and "Good Luck!"

Dionna,

That is great that you have such positive support. I'm sure that will be a big help to you.

Everybody,

Will I be ok by myself after having surgery? I can get a ride home from the surgery center, but do I need to have a friend stay overnight with me?

I have told 4 people. My husband, mom, and two friends who I know can keep a secret. I am too embarrassed that I got this fat that I have to have surgery.

I wasn't even going to tell my mom but I am flying back to Denver to have my surgery. I needed rides and I want to stay at her house so I figured she should probably know. LOL She was a lot more supportive than I thought she would be.

When I lose my 100+ pounds then I will tell people. Until then they can just wonder how I am losing.

I am keeping my surgery on a need to know bases. I have told only the people that live in our house...Husband & 3 kids.

But isn't this wonderful that we can come here and talk about something that is so important to each one of us and not be judged by our size or what we are or are not doing right!

I'm glad I found this website... and all of you...

Dionna,

That is great that you have such positive support. I'm sure that will be a big help to you.

Everybody,

Will I be ok by myself after having surgery? I can get a ride home from the surgery center, but do I need to have a friend stay overnight with me?

I think you'll be fine. You will be sore but they want you to walk around to get rid of the gas so it's probably a good idea for you to get your own Water, etc. rather than have a friend get it for you.

I might change my mind, but right now I'm only telling my husband, kids and a couple of very close friends. Reading some of the results of weight loss on this board is simply amazing, but I'm worried I might be one of the slow losers, and I don't want the added pressure of feeling that others are scrutinizing my weight loss, knowing that I've had surgery. Now, when the weight does come off, and people ask me what I'm doing, I'll be up front about my surgery. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed by it, I just don't want any added pressure for quick results.

I only told my immediate family. No friends and no coworkers.

I can't thank everyone for all their input on this one. This is a huge thing for me. I told just a few at work (3 plus my boss, a man, who had no idea what a lap band was, I had to explain.) Most were so supportive, so I told another work friend who I thought would understand because she has a cronic illness - WRONG. Just what I needed another lecture on how if I would just control myself and do exactly as she say and not be a pig I could loose and maintain the loss. After this, only the few at work who know and my immediate family. This is such a hard decision to begin with, add to it all the hoops you have to jump through just to get it done. Then add in some fear and worry over stupid things like your meds that you take that are HUGE and you worry about things like getting slimed and stuck and that is about where I am now. This isn't something done lightly, I am going to have to change my life forever. If I am lucky I will end up being the first 100 year old September Samurai.

I think the more people u tell the more help and support u have. Other then people talking behind ur back that don't mean nothing. People going to talk anyway. Just look at it this way with out the surgery u be the same person just unhappy about the way in look.with the surgery u be fine person that u want everybody u want to see that is a good healthy person. And that what u doing it for is u that what all matter. I told everybody i don't care some wish they can do it to and they can. So don't be a shame about what u are doing girls.god bless everybody in their own way.