My intention to have the support group is just that... a support group. There are some of us who do not want to go to eat every time. That is one of the reasons most of us needed the surgery to begin with. I just want a group to sit around and talk about the ups and downs of the journey they are going through. We could meet at the District for coffee and sit around just getting to know each other. The reason I wanted to start the group was so that I wouldn't have to travel clear across town for support. Those that have already met for lunch and future dinner, if thats the kind of group you want to have that is fine too. Those who just want to have a support group let me know in private message on my profile. We can then make plans to meet. Not wanting to step on anyone's toes with this. JUST WANT SUPPORT!!! NOT FOOD!!! LOL!!!!

Thanks,

Fran

xoxo

Edited July 17, 200818 yr by mominlv13

Why private messages and digs at the outings already planned? Support is everywhere, regardless of where you meet and regardless of whether or not you eat while you are there. Private messages after this kind of post tells me that (A) there is a level of embarrassment at previous behaviors and ( support is only available if you hide it from everyone else.

Going out to eat is not the reason we gained weight and find ourselves here. We are here (usually) because of unhealthy practices and unhealthy management of food. You can eat out and be healthy and successful. The problem is not as complicated as that... it's not the food, or those serving it.... it's the person eating it.

I think it's great that more groups are popping up, but wouldn't it be healthier (the real reason we're here, by the way) to include everyone, promoting meetings in addition to - instead of in competition with - the other meetings that people enjoy?

Where the hell is the support?

Edited July 17, 200818 yr by FeliciaLevy75
clarity

Why private messages and digs at the outings already planned? Support is everywhere, regardless of where you meet and regardless of whether or not you eat while you are there. Private messages after this kind of post tells me that (A) there is a level of embarrassment at previous behaviors and ( support is only available if you hide it from everyone else.

Going out to eat is not the reason we gained weight and find ourselves here. We are here (usually) because of unhealthy practices and unhealthy management of food. You can eat out and be healthy and successful. The problem is not as complicated as that... it's not the food, or those serving it.... it's the person eating it.

I think it's great that more groups are popping up, but wouldn't it be healthier (the real reason we're here, by the way) to include everyone, promoting meetings in addition to - instead of in competition with - the other meetings that people enjoy?

Where the hell is the support?

I wasnt digging at anybody. If you read the message clearly I stated that those of you that want to have a group that socializes at luncheons or dinners, that may be your thing. I just want a group that meets and discusses things on their journeys to losing weight. Some people CANT handle having food in front of them. Because I asked to have those interested to private message me, its an issue?? Sorry that bothers you or anyone else from the group that I originally tried to start. I dont want to fight about this, it isnt worth it. Good luck on your journeys!!

Fran

My point is that you've created a separation instead of an additional group to offer support. The tone is very "us vs. them," supported by a secret ballot instead of an open invitation to everyone who is looking for support.

Why not just post that you are hosting an additional get-together, offer it up, and let those attend who wish to attend? That would be supportive. And, since you are planning it, you choose the venue. Simple enough, yes? No need to bemoan the (total of only) 2 planned events that happen to be at central restaurant locations.

It's not about fighting, it's about common courtesy. The other events may not be for everyone else, but neither are they posted in such a way as to create a separation of groups. Everyone is invited every time, and the information is posted publicly so that people can see what's going on and make that decision themselves.

No need to hide it, no need to compare one group to the other. Just open invitations to meet your fellow LBTers.

That's support.

Felicia,

I could not have said it any better!! This is not the place or the forum for private messages and private group meetings. Thanks for having the courage to post publicly!!

Hugs to You!

The two of you are taking this way out of perspective. I just want to have a group for support here in Henderson for those of us who dont want to travel all over the place. I never said that your group shouldnt meet just that those who want to have a group here in Henderson to message me. What is the big deal??!!! Do me a favor and just drop it already. Have fun with your group!!! I cant believe the two of you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!!!

FRAN

Fran, you just made my point more clear. Thank you for that.

It's not about "our" group versus "your" group. The offense is taken in the exclusivity and separation created by your post. Your choice of words makes it clear that this was the intent.

This is supposed to be about opening up support channels for everyone, open and inclusive of anyone who wants to come along, and finding new venues to support the support network(s).

The previous meeting at Cafe Ba Ba Reeba and the upcoming meeting at PF Chang's are still open to anyone and everyone in the area, regardless of what other meetings people choose to attend. Seems a pretty easy way to offer support to our fellow banders and LBTers.

I travel all over the place to meeting . Could a guy from the wild west side attend your meetings. Hasta Pronto, George

I can't be part of secret Clandestine groups says my shirnk

hahahaha George. When I hear "clandestine" I think (and you have to whisper it, according to a friend), "espionage!"

Enough already!!!

Grow up and drop it!!

Get over yourself. That had nothing to do with you or your posts.

I would have posted that if anyone had said something similar on any other thread. I found what George said funny, it reminded me of a joke amongst friends, and I responded.

If you don't like it, stop reading it.

I do not like the down talk about the meeting that I personally am planning nor do I condone the talk about the meeting I just attending.

I didn't exclude anyone & I certainly didn't do anything wrong by choosing PF Chang's and I am now so aggravated beyond belief it's not even funny.

I also do not appreciate that the group that got together is being "pointed at" like we did something wrong by eating out... You weren't there- you don't know what went on- so mind your business and don't judge people.

And to be perfectly honest I'm really pissed because Fran was planning on coming with us until their finances took a bad turn and had to cancel...

So what's REALLY happening here is--- that eating out was o.k. 2 weeks ago, but NOW that she can't afford to eat out- the people that can are now the bad ones who are surrounding themselves with horrible food in restaurants!!!???!!!

Why are you being hypocritical? {I love you Fran, but I have to call you out on this one... it's ridiculous...}

And not that we need to explain ourselves, but just so you know how "horrible" we were...

#1 We all had Water...

#2 One of us had Soup the rest of us shared portions that were smaller than appetizers at any restaurant I've ever been to. (Tapas)

#3 If you look at our photo, none of us even touched the bread on the table!

Food was NOT the reason we met- food was there so we could eat, as we ALL have to do 3 times a day!

We spent MOST of our time getting to know one another and asking questions.

So basically, we did not meet at an IHOP- we did not spend the entire time ordering food, nor did we overeat by any means... OMG- GUESS WHAT? WE'RE ADULTS!!!

Don't judge if you weren't there or had a bad experience where you "use to live"... that's not fair to the rest of us...

Going out to eat is something I love to do and is something I will continue to do for the rest of my life. I have to eat- so why not do it socially? Nowhere on the menu does it say that you can't share nor does it say you have to order anything more than an appetizer or soup... No where does it say- you must overeat to enjoy eating out...

If someone cannot come because of financial reasons or simply because they can't handle being in a restaurant- that's not my business- but don't put others down because they CAN handle it... It would be fantastic if every day were roses- the fact is no matter what you plan, where you plan it, or when you plan it, someone will have something to say about it and try to change it... That's why I put what I did on the invitation...

The group that got together last week was from all over the valley- we decided to plan the meetings centrally so it's easier to have larger groups attend... I would love to have other events to go to in Henderson but I have yet to see a date and time actually planned out.

If someone actually plans one & sends out an invite, then I will be happy to attend that one too... Support is support no matter where you are sitting or standing or eating or drinking...

And by the way- I had visitors in town all month- I probably ate out 20 times or more (no exaggeration) and still managed to lose weight... Eating OUT was not what got me here, it was the choices I made- it was the exclusion of exercise- and a life long struggle with yo-yo dieting.

Edited July 19, 200818 yr by Yvonne72

AMEN!!!!!! :thumbdown:

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