For me, it has been putting the weight on yet again after so many times of trying to keep it off. It has been getting to the point where my underwear and bra are tight, not being able to bend over to tie my shoes, etc.:cursing: But the worse has been my little one telling me " Mommy, you are fat!":frown::mad: I know he is only 5 but man that did sting:frown:. So I want to be here for him and my other kids. I want the outside to match the inside.

So what's your story?

It wasnt just one thing for me. It was a whole combination of events and failed diets that led up to lap-band decision...and I am still waiting for approval!

Not fitting into a new rollercoaster that my friends got to ride without me.

Looking at my old "fat" pictures and wishing I looked like that again!

Looking at my current fat pictures and thinking "Is that REALLY me and WHY did I let myself get like that??"

And the most important reason is that my 12 year old son has cystic fibrosis and the median age of survival is 36. I don't want my son to have to take care of his out of shape, unhealthy, and possibly really sick mother when he could be fighting for his own life. I need to get and STAY as healthy as I can so I will be here in case his health takes a turn for the worse.

btw, I am not sure if I will get approved for lap-band but I have made the decision that I will lose this weight with or without the band! Down almost 20 pounds so far!!!

I can totally relate to what everyone else is saying about not realizing how big I was getting. I think I was just in denial for 10 years.

I've been miserable for a long time. Among the many stressors, a new job at a fat-phobic company, with a boss that can't keep her eyes off my gut. Everyone's helpful suggestions about diet and exercise. The weight didn't creep on - it hit like a freight train.

I've been dieting for 38 years , and I just didn't have it in me to "go it alone" again. Also, DH is very loving man, but I guess even he has his limits....been AWHILE!

But the final straw was my mother. I've had a real problem with legs/ankles/feet swelling for about 6 months. I had to go by mom's house. The look of horror in her eyes (When the were open! She cannot look at anything she considers painful.) When it was time to leave, I told her I was gonna peepee first. She told me to go to the other bathroom, it was bigger, and I would have more room. Post surgical pain? Ain't nothin' compared to the pain in the heart. Ahhh, need I say more?

I came home and set up my surgery dates for three weeks later. Very few people know I'm doing this. Hence the name-"Living well" (is the best...).

Well, that was cathartic! Sorry, I really am in a great mood! I'm so happy and excited to get the help I need to get back to the weigh I was "the weekend I was thin". :confused_smile:

WHOOHOO!

P.S.

Just to clarify - I've been researching the lap-band for about 2 years. (no snap decision)

LOL

Also, I had called my insurance company back in Feburary to start the process. I'll let you know when they call me back!

It wasnt just one thing for me. It was a whole combination of events and failed diets that led up to lap-band decision...and I am still waiting for approval!

Not fitting into a new rollercoaster that my friends got to ride without me.

Looking at my old "fat" pictures and wishing I looked like that again!

Looking at my current fat pictures and thinking "Is that REALLY me and WHY did I let myself get like that??"

And the most important reason is that my 12 year old son has cystic fibrosis and the median age of survival is 36. I don't want my son to have to take care of his out of shape, unhealthy, and possibly really sick mother when he could be fighting for his own life. I need to get and STAY as healthy as I can so I will be here in case his health takes a turn for the worse.

btw, I am not sure if I will get approved for lap-band but I have made the decision that I will lose this weight with or without the band! Down almost 20 pounds so far!!!

ROFLMAO...ok not funny, but i swear i was just doing that about 2 hours ago...looking at some pics from last july...when i was SOOOOOOO fat...um yeah i've gained 58 lbs since then! i remember when the pictures were first taken and i was like OMG my face is so fat...close your eyes, now visualize what 58lbs does to your face!

well good luck to you!

This is a wonderful thread. I am having surgery next week and like a lot of people I am nervous.

My surgeon put me on a one month diet before hand. Two liquid meals and dinner of chicken or fish and vegetables. I was actually doing okay until my birthday last week and had a bit of a blow out. I didn't gain weight, but I lost my groove.

This thread reminds me of all the amazing people who have lived like me and who want to change.

My straws:

My mother saying the 'if only you lost some weight...' thing every time we speak.

Not being able to buy nice clothes.

Not being able to feel like I am really hugging people.

Feeling sickened by the sight of myself when I am naked.

Having my ankles blacken every time I fall.

Never being comfortable in a seat.

Fake smiling when I apologise to the people I am sitting next to for spilling into their seat in the theatre, on a plane... anywhere.

Feeling embarrassed that I haven't been able to control my eating and that I have 'let myself go'.

Not feeling sexy more than once in my life.

Looks of disgust from strangers... or worse, friends who haven't seen me in a while.

Never wanting a picture of myself.

...

I think I could go on.

Thank you to everyone for making me strong for that little bit longer.

Dolly, you are so pretty though!!! Wow!! But, I know what you mean though. It's funny, because when I was about 100 pounds lighter and I still wasn't slim, I would see myself as being HUGE. Now that I AM HUGE, I don't see how large I truly am until I see a pic of myself. Worst of all is the fact that I have a 6-year-old and I have refused to have a family portrait made because I am so ashamed at how I look.

:tongue_smilie: My little one looked at me the other day, we were watching some lap band videos on youtube, and he looked at me so sad and put his hand on my stomach and said, "Momma, I don't want you to get bigger." I promised him I wouldn't and I would love to have a sibling for him before I get too old, but I don't want to even attempt to try to carry a baby at 280. So, this is for real and I am looking forward to the seminar soon.

peeing on my self that was my last straw

To some this may be a depressing thread, but I do not believe so. I think it represents the strength and determination of those of us on the board. It is really hard being overweight and trying to do something about it, but you failed.:frown:The awesome thing is that we have sought the help we need to get healthy and to re-claim our lives. I know I for one am sick of life passing me by. I hope approval comes through soon!:tongue_smilie:

Yes, this is true. Life HAS been passing me by. I just hate that it has taken me so long to really decide on this method. I told my husband that when I do this, I don't want ANY of his family knowing, except for maybe his mom. His mom and I get along great. I just want to do so many things with my son and not feel embarrassed or afraid I'm going to hear someone's snide comment that could potentially hurt his feelings if he heard it. I want to be able to take him to Sea World or even to ride rides somewhat and not have anxiety because I'm afraid the bar won't go across me. I think I have been a prisoner in my own body for at least 30 years!!! Well over half my life. I am so ready for this and can't wait to join the rest of you in this wonderful journey. :tongue_smilie: Since deciding on doing this almost a week ago, this site has become an addiction. lol

My last straw was when my husband went away for a month on business last december and i made a goal to lose 10 pounds while he was gone on a crash diet and daily exercise. I couldn't do it. I lost 3 pounds and said I lost 5.

For some reason, being married caused me to gain way too much. Perhaps I was so happy, I was celebrating with food every day if you know what I mean. I think there is also the nesting syndrome where you want to cook and bake everything.

I now weigh more than 20 pounds less than when I got married. I am still losing about 2 pounds a week and working my band, but even if I never lost another pound, I feel normal and happy and I think I look good at this weight. Thank you, thank you, thank you my wonderful band.

I've been "very obese" since I was 40 when I had radiation treatment for my hyperactive thyroid (Graves disease)

Most of my life I've been in the OK range (125 - 135) and bounced back with some concentrated effort after my 3 pregnancies.

80 pounds in 1 year - 1990 - :frown:

then diabetes type 2

high blood pressure

high cholesterol

house-bound by choice

reluctance to buy clothes other than XL t-shirts and elastic waist pants

Birkies and moccasins (because even my feet grew)

2 knee surgeries last year (just scopes, not replacement - yet)

excessive sweating

one swollen ankle

My grown daughters tried to get me out of the house

"Mom - you don't look that bad at all!"

Silent yet tolerant and distant husband. :thumbup:

I had a panic attic in a dressing room (plus-sized store) when one daughter encouraged me to try on some new clothes.

I scared the "helk" out of her and she finally "got it" that I was humiliated beyond reason.

:crying:

I've been bipolar for decades and see a psychiatrist/therapist regularly (with meds of course)

But - the straw was last week when I found out I had a fast-growing cataract in my left eye.

Enough is enough.

I want to run around the backyard - and maybe a PUBLIC park - with my grandchildren (when I have them some day)

:wub:

• Seeing my reflection in windows over and over.
  
• Having to order all my clothes/bras/panties/shoes online because I can't even were lane bryant.
  
• Being able to only (in person) shop at a fat old lady store.
  
• My feet are so big and round I can't even by normal shoes.
  
• Litterly not being able to fit in a booth and having to ask for a table while everyone stares at you.
  
• Not getting an agency jaket like all the other staff because I could not fit into the sizes..
  
• Having my stomache and chest shoved out forward when I ride in the passenger seat of cars.
  
• Not being able to bend over.
  

But most of all..

• Not having ANY photos or videos with me and my husband or me and our son. No one should have to live like that. :thumbup:
  

What a blessing it has been to read all of this thread. I have been through all of that...everything. And it's wonderful to have a place where we can talk about those heartrending things, and be accepted, and truly understood! No one who has not been down this road comprehends the grief stricken state of it's travelers.

Thanks for the support, and the sharing. You are wonderful valuable people just as you are right now!

So many new replies on this thread with some really great responses, and "straw stories" that probably ring a bell or 2 for all of us.

I want to run again, like a kid. I want to run in the park, or run to the mailbox, or be able to run if someone is chasing me (unless he's cute and wants to ask me out--then it's ok, I'll stop. LOL!). But I feel all your pain because I think I've felt many of those things at least once in my life. I won't even put current pics of me on any of my sites I belong to because I don't know who that woman is! When I look in the mirror, I see a gorgeous, yet chubby hot chick. Then, I see a pic of me, and I don't recognize her. Who is that? It's not me. I can totally relate to all of you who posted about picture taking. I want to go to Glamour Shots again and actually fit into the costumes they have and not have to have them "shave" a few inches off my chin or put me in some contortionist position to hide some lbs. Sigh...