I haven't posted in a while.... I feel like I need support now more than ever. I was banded April of 2008 and have been doing really well. I have lost about 47 pounds so far. (Yeah me) I have been married almost 13 years and have a wonderful 12 yr old son. I just found out a few weeks ago that my husband had an affair with one of my closest relatives. I am devistated to say the least. I never thought I had to worry about this with him. The worst part of it is that I had taken in my cousin as she was having problems and I was trying to help her out. I completely trusted both of them... they were the two closest people in my lives. My world has been shaken and turned upside down. The affair happened two years ago according to them but last month while she was in my home there was kissing going on between them while my son was home and I was at work. My cousin decided to call me at work and confess.... I was in total shock and denial. I have been getting counseling from the doctor who did my psych eval and that has been helping a great deal. I have been really doing some soul searching and have decided to end my relationship and have started looking into a divorce. My husband says he soooo sorry and he would never do it again. He told me he was on drugs at the time and they were affecting his decision making. (the drugs were another suprise!) I am trying to do the best that I can but something in me just wants to eat and eat to comfort myself. I am having a hard time finding things to fill my time since I cannot eat like I used to. I am scared to be alone, I am scared that I will never find another relationship... I am scared that no one will want me because of my weight.... I am just having real self esteem issues right now. I have been with my husband for so long I just dont know if I can do it on my own.... I have never lived alone before. Well, sorry for rambling, I just needed to get this off my chest!

*SMH* Bless YOUR heart too Cota. Good - Luck to you also. Both are in my thoughts and prayers

Cota, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this as well. My heart goes out to both of you.

Ohh, I am so sorry to hear this. We all know how hard it is to not eat when we're stressed and depressed. Please hang in there and try to not eat...it really doesn't help. If he's doing drugs and fooling around he has more serious problems than you do. Take your son under your wing and protect him everyway that you can. My prayers are with you.

Thank you all for your wonderful support... it means a lot to me. Cota, I am so sorry... I know what your going thru and it is really painful. If you ever need to talk just PM me. I thought I was holding it together pretty well but have been crying the past two days. I am going tomorrow to file my divorce papers. I started packing yesterday and I think that is when it really became reality for me. Its tough but I think once I get out on my own it will hopefully not be so painful. I saw my therapist today and he suggested a divorce support group so I can talk to others going thru the same things, he also suggested a church in my area that I am planning on looking into for my son and I to meet some new friends. Again, thank all of you for the support, suggestions and websites to check out. It really means a lot to me. :confused_smile:

JennyLynn & Cota,

Just wanted to let you know that I was there too. On Thanksgiving day 2006 my husband of 17 years left. One month later he moved in with his girlfriend. This was a huge shock. He was my best friend. We have 2 kids. My life was just how you described yours - a roller coaster. I just had to go through the motions for months. I wasn't able to sleep or eat. My doctor put me on medication for sleep & panic attacks. Everybody said it would get better but I just couldn't see it. One of the good things that came of it was that I lost 56 pounds in about 4 months. In August 2007 I started dating someone. It was very hard because my husband was the only boyfriend that I had ever had. My weight gradually came back on but good thing was I was able to get off the sleep medication & no more panic attacks. My & my boyfriend are still dating over 11 months later & talking about marriage. I never thought I would find someone so soon. He's actually the reason I got the lapband. He got his in February then I followed in May.

Good luck to you both. And know that it will get better. My life didn't turn out the way I had expected but it is very good.

JennyLynn,

We are all here to give you support and encouragement through this painful time and beyond.

You are a beautiful person and will always be.

Sincerely,

Stephanie