I thought it might be FUN to ask you all what the rudest comment you have had is and how you responded!

I'll get it started: Last weekend, I went for my hair appointment. I had not been for 9 or 10 weeks. When she saw me, she said, "You've lost a lot of weight...did you have gastric bypass?" I couldn't believe she would ask such a personal question...people sure are bold! I simply replied, "Nope, I didn't." And that was the truth! :redface:

I have kept my surgery a secret at work...although there are rumors. A co worker saw me with a 6inch Subway sandwich...and said "YOU GOT UR STOMACH STAPLED..ARE U SUPOSSED TO EVEN EAT THAT!?!?!??!" Whne is it OK to comment on ANYTHING like that with a person !?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh that's nice.... I bet you were mad! Or at least I would have been!! How are you doing so far?

What a jerk! Jealous, I'm sure. That is when you say, "Thanks for the advice pot. Well, this kettle has to get back to work, see you later!" How obnoxious!

And can you imagine the uproar if you said something similar but about race or intelligence?? "Hey, you know, you really have an afro, but I know there are some products out there to help you look less black." or "Hey, I know that you are pretty dumb, so I thought I'd let you know what the morning's memo meant" What a bunch of crap!!

Oh, that last post was to smsmithart about the woman at work. And I have to say to Miss Understood that every time my sister called me a name like the ones you listed, I'd just calmly come back with "Thanks for the tip, hurtful." or maybe, "I'll make a note of that obnoxious."

Maybe we need to come up with some sort of every situation comeback for people who so obviously step over the line and really need to be pulled up short. I really think that most of the time people say things like that because they always get away with it - no one ever really just flat out calls them on it.

So maybe something like, "Wow. That was really ignorant and rude. Do you ask African Americans if they want some watermelon and Mexicans if they are illegal too?? You might want to educate yourself a little more. Maybe learns some manners."

And just to be absolutely sure that everyone really understands my comments above - I do NOT believe anything like that and I am NOT racist. The point that I am trying to make is that if someone is ignorant and believes stupid things like those racist stereotypes, they often are at least normally smart enough to keep it to themselves because even they know it is so socially unacceptable. But it's okay for them to say whatever they want about fat people, because it isn't generally viewed as THAT offensive. :biggrin:

9!0 I was in Hawaii on vacation with my family and we all woke up and my mom ssaw that I ate 1/2 of a honeybun and was like "what, u're just gonna keep gettin bigger and bigger huh? that hurt me soooo bad that i was just crying and my bro tried to comfort me and i gave her the silent treatment for about 2 days but there was considerable tension in the air with everyone..she has not said anything like that since BUT she is paying for my lapband surgery..

this chick that i ahdnt seen since high school saw me at a Golden Corral (of all places) and here was the convo

her: heyyy girl how are u?

me: i'm fine, how about u

her: girl your face still looks the same, u just got bigger (makes hand motion indicating my breasts are big)

me: uh ok

(just then, her mom comes up)

her: hey ma, look who it is

her mom: trying to place my face

her: its ________, she's just big now..

what bitch, now if I had pointed out that i see she is still ghetto, then she woulda looked at me like i'm crazy..

Okay, so this isn't rude so much as unprofessional. At my psych eval the psychologist recommended I see her again before surgery or find a therapist closer to home. So I made an appointment at a therapists office in my hometown. I recognized the womans voice on the phone as someone I used to work with. (She was a very nice but kind of flighty woman, she is also very overweight) She asked me a few questions over the phone including why I was seeking therapy. I just said that I will be having bariatric surgery, and wanted someone to talk to throughout out the process. They asked me to come into the therapists office to fill out insurance paperwork. When I arrived to fill out the paperwork it was in fact the woman I used to work with. After I filled out the paperwork I walked up to the receptionist desk to had it in. She was at the desk with another receptionist and I was standing in the lobby. As I handed her the paperwork and she asks me why I decided to do it. I just looked at her, I smiled but I was a little confused. I could feel the other receptionist suck in her breath and hold it. The woman I know said "you know like what kind of surgery are you going to have?". Now I know that she was not being rude she really wanted to know for her own knowledge. But anyone that knows anything about mental health or therapy is that everything is supposed to be VERY CONFIDENTIAL! Now I really don't like to make people feel uncomfortable so I answered all of her questions and gave her my surgeons name for her own use and I cracked a couple of jokes, I even relaxed the other receptionist a little. She wanted to know why I decided to do it, so I quickly explained that my husband and I would really like to have a baby and we have already had a couple of miscarriages and that weight loss can really help. I acted like it was no problem sharing all this with her, and the truth is I don't mind, but I'm sorry it is way too personal of a conversation to be having with my future therapists receptionist in the lobby! I don't want to get her into trouble, but I really hope the other receptionist told her how unprofessional she was! I mean I really have only discussed these things with my closest family members. Well as soon as another patient walked in the door I quickly waved goodbye and walked out. I sure hope she remembers the HIPPA laws and doesn't talk about this with people I still work with! I want to tell people when I'm ready .

Seven months ago...... While watching the discovery channel my ex-boyfriend told one of my kids "look is your mom on TV". They were showing elephants and rhinos. I would always change it to a different channel but acting like he didn't say anything. I still hate him for that, and I do tell him that when he calls to talk to his kids. He says he's coming for the holidays in December, hopefully by then I can loose more weight so I can prove to him that I'm doing better without him.

smartiegirl, I know what you mean. I work in a doctors office and most of the girls that work there are the same way. They talk about patients right at the window and the whole lobby can hear. The doctor has even done it. You are right, it is very unprofessional, not to mention illegal.

Here are just a few...

Getting on an Outrigger in Tahiti the guy said to everyone...larger people in the middle, then pointed to my Mom and I, like we didn't get it!

At a Chinese restaurant the waitress asked me if my friend was my sister "because she big like you"!

My boyfriend of six months told me that my weight bothered him and then didn't understand when I broke up with him...I was the same weight when I met him, mind you.

The last one happens all the time...you'd be so pretty if...

From what you all have said I am so thankful that I don't live near my HS!!! My worst comments have been from my parents. Dad said, "You know, you're bigger than your (maternal) grandmother now." Well gee thx, Daddy-o. Lemme see, you're a good 300 so who are YOU calling fat? His mother was always ugly to him about his weight. Hello!

Surprisingly, I can't come up with anything Mom has said tho I know she has. She has patted my fat gut w/in the last year tho. Luckily they're both supportive of the surgery.

Ironic that I found this post today. I'm still pre-banded (but getting closer!) and ordered a pizza tonight. The foreign/ugly delivery man said, "here's your humongous pizza." Keep in mind that at the last delivery, he said, "here you go, big woman." So short tipped him tonight (10%ish). I then proceeded to call the GM to go OFF about the delivery schmuck. I did order a large but hello, pizza freezes really well, Einstein. I would've slapped him but I live alone and he knows where I live!

I guess I should've said, "and your English ain't so good!" (Get it? I used bad english!) Only prob is that I couldn't place the accent!

Edited August 30, 200817 yr by SickNTired

My rudest comments have also been from my mother. And she's never been skinny. She once said "are you just going to accept yourself like that or are you going to do something about it?" Or one that sticks with me that she said when I was younger, "You should be skinny." Or "What size are you up to now?"

I told my Dad once that my sister had lost a lot of weight and I was afraid she was anorexic. He said "Well, when are you going to lose some?"

Glad to know that being skinny through an eating disorder is more acceptable than being heavy! Sigh.

As other have said, my favorite comeback is, "I can always lose weight; but ugly is forever." Or "I can always lose weight; you don't seem to be able to grow hair."

Edited August 30, 200817 yr by SickNTired

I really think a lot of people believe that it is acceptable.

Besides all of the comments directed at me that I mentioned, there is always the indirect comments. For example, I have friends who will be like...oh my gosh look at her, she really has put on a lot of weight. Well, the person is still smaller than me! Or, they say, " I'm so fat, I need to lose weight." Well, they are half the size that I am so that means I must be HUGE! The insensitivity can be brutal!

I have had comments similar to most posted here, but I thought I'd add one I found particularly offensive.

I had lost about 100 pounds (which of course I gained back) and a parent of one of my students said, "I'll bet your husband sure is happy!" I think she honestly meant this as a compliment, and that really made me sad for her. She is not huge but still overweight. I would say she must think that her husband thinks less of her because of it. I replied, "Actually, he really couldn't care less. He's happy for me because I'm happy, but he doesn't care." She didn't know what to say.