I know he'll freak! I never thought I would consider WLS. I feel like it's a good option for me now. I just don't know how to tell him. I think I'll wait till after I see my PCP. Plus I have 3 young girls. I don't want them knowing I'm having WLS. I'm afraid it will send the wrong message to them. I don't want to offend any of you. Hope I'm not.

Thanks for any input.

I wish you luck with everything smarquezrn

Thanks froggi1985. I love all the support found on this website. It has been the most helpful and encouraging. Without all of you guys I would probably just call the whole thing off rather than go through hard times with my guy, but I figure I only get one shot at life and I have to live it to the best of my ability.

I TOLD My husband that is is what I wanted. Period. There were no threats or anything like that. This is MY body and he knows it (I love him!). There wasn't even a thought about what I'd say to him. He wasn't thrilled but knew that it was my choice to make. And both my children know about my surgery. Didn't keep anything a secret.

**The only negotiation that is envolved in my opinion is if you have to mortgage your house to get the procedure 'cause its only fair to the spouse for the financial involvement.

Lucky for me my insurance paid for everything. You need to do what you need to do for yourself.

Are there really NO risks??

I wish I had a supportive guy like you girls do. I have included mine in every part of this journey. He was supportive at first and wanted to know everything, but the further along I got into it, the more he step back and he doesn't see to be for it.

He wants me to be healthy and loves me the way I am now. I have been thinner and at my heaviest with this man. I know he is insecure because he thinks I am going to get thin and find another man. I think that is so silly, but I guess a valid concern on his part. He is a very slender man and can eat anything and never gain weight.

I just wish I had his wholehearted support.

I agree you need todo what is right for you. If he supports you or not. I will have the WLS done either way as long as insurance covers mine.

I wish you luck too!

Thanks froggi1985. I love all the support found on this website. It has been the most helpful and encouraging. Without all of you guys I would probably just call the whole thing off rather than go through hard times with my guy, but I figure I only get one shot at life and I have to live it to the best of my ability.

I agree w/ you on yhe 1 shot thing. I am sick of waisting my precious time here being FAT!!:thumbup: I want to enjoy my time. I don't even want to be "SKINNY" I just want to be at a healthy weight!

I agree w/ you on yhe 1 shot thing. I am sick of waisting my precious time here being FAT!!:thumbup: I want to enjoy my time. I don't even want to be "SKINNY" I just want to be at a healthy weight!

I'm with you! I know I'll never be a size 2 and really I don't want to be. I like having a little thickness to me and so does my husband. He told me when we started dating that he didn't like skinny women. I just want to get down to a weight where I am proud of my body and that is a lot more healthy than the one that I am occupying now.

I'm with you! I know I'll never be a size 2 and really I don't want to be. I like having a little thickness to me and so does my husband. He told me when we started dating that he didn't like skinny women. I just want to get down to a weight where I am proud of my body and that is a lot more healthy than the one that I am occupying now.

How long did it take you to get approved by insurance?

I told my husband the first time I thought of getting the lap band. The only thing he was against was the risks to the surgery itself. He has this thing that he doesn't like the idea of me being hurt or in pain. His biggest draw back also was the fact he isn't here, he is deployed at the moment and was over seas when I had my surgery. My mom flew down to be with me during surgery and those couple of days afterwards. She kept him informed on everything, she emailed him from my phone so he got updates constantly.

Tell your husband, let him know you are doing this for your health and for your life. Being overweight/obese is not how you should live your life. Have him go with you to the seminar, and your appts. So him your research on the band (not just this forum) to let him know you have researched it, you know the risks but also let him know that being obese is a bigger risk to you then this surgery.

How long did it take you to get approved by insurance?

I have Tricare so it's relatively quick to get approved. I should say it's quick as long as you meet the requirements. I got my approval about a day after my doc put in my referral. What's taking a long time is meeting the requirements for the surgeon before I can get a surgery date.

My partner is being banded on the 23rd. We've been through all kinds of efforts to lose weight (and I say we because I've supported, coached, exercised, eaten (or not), changed my diet, and nagged right along with her. We went to a seminar on Optifast many years ago. It didn't take me long to figure out that the program was essentially a starvation diet, with all of its side effects, in which the person hopes their eating behavior changes by the end. Um... no. And then there were the two women I knew who had gastric bypass with life-threatening complications. Er... no again. On the other hand, LapBand seems to be a safe and sane solution to us.

As for what to tell your children, in time you might want to tell them about the surgery. Personally, I don't think that doing so will turn them into instant anorexics. This is about your health, not beauty. If it was cosmetic, you'd be paying for it on your own. Trust me, if Medicare is willing to pay for it, it's health-related - they don't pay for squat unless it's medically necessary.

Please encourage your husband to go to a seminar or take a look at this website or others. My partner and I both did a lot of research before she made the final decision to go ahead. Understanding the procedure (particularly that it is removable, which is not the case with gastric bypass) may help to alleviate many of his fears. I know that this aspect was the clincher for me, since I was worried about what might happen if my partner was ill/in an accident/injured and the band was in place. When I found that out, I was all for it.

The reality is that you're gonna have to tell him some time. Going in for surgery isn't exactly like stepping out for a quart of milk. It's sort of obvious.

Hang in there!

I wish I had a supportive guy like you girls do. I have included mine in every part of this journey. He was supportive at first and wanted to know everything, but the further along I got into it, the more he step back and he doesn't see to be for it.

He wants me to be healthy and loves me the way I am now. I have been thinner and at my heaviest with this man. I know he is insecure because he thinks I am going to get thin and find another man. I think that is so silly, but I guess a valid concern on his part. He is a very slender man and can eat anything and never gain weight.

I just wish I had his wholehearted support.

smarquezrn,

I am married with one 19-month old daughter, and my husband has been absolutely the best support I could have ever asked for. He has come to all my Dr. appointments, put up with sitting in waiting rooms like you wouldn't believe ... He has always loved me no matter what (I was quite obese when we got married), but I know he also wants me to be happy, and especially healthy. I want to have more children, and see them grow up. I want to be there for everything. That's the bottom line...

All I can say is that you can only do what you can do. You can't make your man support you, and you can't make him feel more secure. Only he can decide if he is secure enough to want you to be happy. If this is something that you feel strongly about because of your desire to be healthy and happy, then it's obviously something that you should do. However, if your guy is not supportive, what is really behind that? Why doesn't he want you to be happy and healthy? Is it really just his insecurity about you finding another man? I'm not judging or anything - those are just questions that I would ask myself if I were in your position. I hope you get it sorted out.

Take care,

Sarah H.

Heidi, I have never responded before because I am new. You will do fine. My husband has supported me through all of my pre-op stuff. I am to be banded in July.

Kristylyn I am glad to see someone from Louisiana. I am too. I am from Amite.

Size 2??? Heaven forbid! I'm 5'2" and a size 4, and that's quite dinky enough, let me tell you. I've always been thin, though. Strangely enough, I have as much trouble finding clothes that fit me right as my soon-to-be-banded partner does (I have to wear kids' shoes sometimes since I can't get women's shoes in my size 5 1/2). The smaller (or larger) you get, the less your selection. Size 2 is not what you're aiming for - healthy is. If that means you are supposed to be a size 2, then you'll get there (or not), but no matter what you see on TV, don't believe that having hipbones that stick out of your body like carving knives is the standard of beauty. A truly healthy body is a beautiful body.

Badger Mom

Sarah H,

My fiance has been with me at all my appointments too. He has even taken off of work and driven me two hours to get to them. I live in Waco, Tx and my surgeon is two hours away from me. I guess that is what bothers me about this whole thing. If he wasn't going to be supportive, I don't understand why he pretended to be.

He is an insecure person, when it comes to me. He does love me no matter what size I am, as he has seen me at my heaviest and tells me how sexy he thinks I am all the time. I don't necessarily feel ugly, I just want to be able to do things without my joints aching all the time. I want to be able to take my dog on walks and play with her without getting tired so quickly. I want to do things with my kids. I want to go dancing. Take adventurous trips. All those fun things without getting out of breath or hurting. I guess the biggest thing is, I am trying my best to hault any problems that may develop due to being overweight. My mother has many health issues and I don't want them. She has the attitude that she doesn't care and wants to live her life doing what she wants without restrictions and if she dies,at least she dies doing what she wants. To me, I guess being that I am a nurse and do my best to help people. hate that attitude in people. I want to do everything possible to stay healthy and alive for as long as possible. I am fighting it all the way.

Thanks all, for your ecouraging words.

I also don't want to be a size two, I think that would look terrible on me. I think I look better at an 7/8 or 9/10. I want to keep all my curves, just want smaller ones, LOL.

I told my hubby right away and, once that I had begun the process, told my children (ages 16, 14, 13, 12 and 12). I felt that they should know that a) I was doing something that would help me to lose weight and live a longer life and :biggrin: that it was not okay to become this heavy because it can develop into serious health problems.

One of my sons (the 13 year old) is a bit (not much) overweight and has been going with me to all of my appointments. He has been learning alot. I have noticed him making better food choices. The other four are right where they should be.

I wanted my family to know what I was doing and why. When you give them the "why" then they know it is not just to be the skinny girl on the block or to show off or have guys (or girls) drooling after you. You give them the "why" and they know that you want to be healthy and live a long life to be with them.