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Wow! So much to say, so little time.

Apples--God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change and the courage to kick ass when you can change them, and the wisdom to know the difference.

OK Jessica, don't go back into hiding. We love you!

Jodi, this mother hen also says "Be careful of wolves in Vegas clothing."

Eva, if I could work outdoors and garden, I'd prefer that over regimented exercise. I do love to go dancing and I like walking, but I like walking outdoors in beautiful places. We've got some streets near me surrounded by forest preserve with older homes with gardens and cool architectural details.

I like a walk with a view and fresh air. But probably too hot for that by you.

Lori. Amen, amen, amen. Hallelujah!

Laura, been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Instant menopause first with shots to stop my periods so my blood supply could build back up before a total hyst. in my late 40's. Had to have HRT. Even on it I was awake at night. Started going to an all night gym and swimming at 11 at night, then home and slept pretty good. Eventually weaned myself off the HRT. Still some flashes towards morning.

Control! What an issue! I hate being controlled! My father and ex-husband both very controlling. My father drives my mother insane with the constant criticisms and advice over everything, and he's much worse now that he's getting senile. Went out to lunch with her and listened to her vent yesterday. If she had a hobby besides taking care of her house it would help.

Unfortunately, I, too, am controlling. And part of the reason I won't get drunk is because I can't stand the loss of control.

I really hate having my husband drive because he's a terrible driver and if I don't want us to be lost or to have a half hour's trip turn into an hour's trip, I have to constantly tell him which way to turn, or to interrupt his monologue to let him know when he's drifted below the speed limit and is doing 50mph while drivers are passing us left and right doing 75. Aargh! Brings out the worst in me. He hits every pothole, stays behind big trucks for miles, doesn't plan ahead to make the lights or take advantage of breaks in traffic, so every trip is stop and go. I can't even close my eyes and pretend to sleep because his sense of direction is so poor. Plus he's got a captive audience and talks non-stop. I feel like I need a xanax just to survive the drive. Give me the wheel and let me control this car. Please! Letting him drive is a control freak's nightmare!

Gotta go to bed. Teaching by 8 a.m. tomorrow.

Cheri

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Let the games begin!!!!!!!!! Why is it that siblings get soooooooooooooooo funky at a time like this. Pulling together would be a better option. So...let's all say this little prayer together:

God grant me and DH the strength to NOT knock the ones misbehaving on their A$$. (Is it OK to say God and A$$ in the same sentence? Don't want to get struck down). Thank you for listening, God. Amen

Oh Gosh! My last post sounded crude. No, we are not "hitters" and we will stay out of the messes. Just need a lot of self-restraint. We can do it. We can do it. We can do it. There, I feel better. Thanks for listening to my vent
Both DH and I are good of staying out of his 5 sister's crap. I really don't know how they are all going to survive until the funeral on Monday and the days after. If today was any indication, my bets are on the heavyset sister.:rolleyes:

Not crude at all!! You are a paragon of strength!! You are both amazing!! Gracious, secure in who you are, exercising tremendous restraint!

It's 10 p.m. your time Apples - go to bed - get some rest - I bet you 1 million bucks - we all wish we had your strength.. You are the strongest women I know - the most gracious in the face of all that mess.. Eat your oatmeal and get some rest - just know that you will always have us to vent to and I know that God understands venting his own son did it (father why have you forsaken me) -- and where does he sit today (up there on the right side of his Dad)... And we are all God's children .. Hugs & Love to my Idol !!! :thumbup:

Amen!! Preach it sis!! I agree completely!!

This just in

guilty on all 9 counts!

That's the jury verdict on DH's carjacker. That's a relief, sentencing is in Sept. we may go back for that.

GREAT NEWS, GREAT!!!!

LOL

CONGRATS, LORI, to you and DH!!

3_12_23v.gif

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It's 10 p.m. your time Apples - go to bed - get some rest - I bet you 1 million bucks - we all wish we had your strength.. You are the strongest women I know - the most gracious in the face of all that mess.. Eat your oatmeal and get some rest - just know that you will always have us to vent to and I know that God understands venting his own son did it (father why have you forsaken me) -- and where does he sit today (up there on the right side of his Dad)... And we are all God's children .. Hugs & Love to my Idol !!! :rolleyes:

Jesus loves me, this I know. Cuz the Bible tells me so........

Gosh...you all are just so full of Apples compliments today. I am just gonna have to fluff my pillow and have sweet dreams of all my LBT sisters. Will let you know in the morning of any weird dreams.

Laura....gotta tell ya, Hon....gotta exercise even more during menopause. Those hot flashes (from what my doc told me) just heat up that bod and slow down the metabolism. Get your cute tush to the gym in the morning.

Oh Gosh...I feel so much like Janet right now

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Great - Yea !!!

Laura - Hate to tell you doesn't count = but hugs all the same - get some sleeping pills !!!

Ok - new thing here - I am going to have roll call every day on who has gotten their exercise - for maintaining pple 3 days a week (or more if you want - Apples is excluded due to the fact that her metabolism does all her exercise) those of you who are still in your weight loss phase minimum 4 days and you should really push for 5...

Gold star day for Janet for her great idea!!!!!!!!! What's this game all about????? Being accountable, of course. What a great way to make us accountable, Janet.:rolleyes:

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Thanks for those heartwarming words, Phyll.

Cheri...ditto what I said to Phyll. What I have to say about control is this: If your partner is into letting you take over certain things and is OK with it...go with it. If not, gotta let it go.

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This just in

guilty on all 9 counts!

That's the jury verdict on DH's carjacker. That's a relief, sentencing is in Sept. we may go back for that.

Great news! My wish for him is to have to eat Kraft macaroni and cheese at least once a day for the rest of his life...AND...to never have access to toilet paper.:rolleyes:

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Good Morning...got a great night's sleep for both DH and myself (much needed). Mouth is healing nicely and going to try more solid food today. I have my temporary caps on all 10 top teeth. I am amazed by the difference every time I catch myself in the mirror and so satisfied by the work that this doc does. Three weeks till I get the permenant on the front uppers. After that just have right top and bottom caps to take care of. Going to be so worth it.

Most likely will be not checking in today or tomorrow much. Just wanted to pop on and wish you all a great weekend. Take care.

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Morning everyone, my pain finally let me sleep sometime during the night, but I did have to take more pills.. I hate that as I'm so groggy when I do get up....

Apples, thanks for the wish for a good weekend, but I think you need those wishes more than we do..... I know you will work like a crazy person to keep everyone fed and happy.... So, you try to stay calm amidst all the madness and be your beautiful self........ God is watching and knows what's happening and will put gold stars on your page when it's all said and done.... I'm so happy you are healing and that you are already happy with the outcome of your teeth project... Can't wait to see the new smile....

Sorry to run so fast but have an appt with a new NP here in town this morning... Yesterday I found out I can't even get my meds renewed since this doc dumped me..... Gotta run quick, but I'll check in later... Julie

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Fly by....will catch up with everyone tonight or tomorrow.

Apples, hugs to you and your DH. Hang in there, let the in-laws duke it out...shake your head and see how childish some people are.

Lori, congrats on the conviction. Hopefully that will give you and your DH some peace.

Laura, been there done that....not fun, but you'll survive...not so sure about DH.

Okay, have to run...yeah it's FRIDAY!!

Eva

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Morning everyone! Apples, you are an amazing woman! You remind me of a pioneer woman -- always working, cooking, taking care of everyone -- truly an angel.

Janet, good idea about exercise -- I did mine even on vacation - this week a little less (cause I'm worn out from the vacation) but still managed the gym twice since Monday and will hit it again tomorrow and then back to my normal of doing at least 1 hour of something every day. To everyone who hates it: take Janet's suggestion on a class - it's more fun than walking on the treadmill/elleptical/bike alone -- you'll meet other people and enjoy the music -- there's regular aerobics, step aerobics (my favorite), Water aerobics, zumba, yoga, silver sneakers (low impact for seniors or people new to exercise) etc. etc. After a few weeks you'll probably feel better and will be more likely to do more on your own. Just my suggestion/experience talking.

Lori, soooo happy to hear the verdict -- I had no doubt it would happen, but you can't ever be sure until it actually is read. Glad you and DH have that behind you.

LauraK glad to hear you and ex are still trying to see where it goes -- sounds like you care a lot for each other. How long were you broken up? Was it just a short time? (I'm so nosy.)

Arlene, glad DD is okay - love the name -- my sister's name is "Beth Anne" -- my neice in Ohio who just found out she's pg again was hoping for a girl but alas, is having her third boy. She was planning to name it "Beth Annie" if it had been a girl. So that name must be popular again or something. My DS is 51 - funny how names repeat themselves. Like now any one named Linda is my age or older -- maybe it too will come back some day.

Julie, hope you're doing good today with the pain issues. How was your appt. with the new doctor? Did you ever hear back from your clinic about why you got the axe from your GP?

Okay gang, gotta work -- unfortunately. Looking forward to the weekend -- I'm so tired!!! Can't wait to sleep in past 5:30 a.m.

Have a great Friday everyone!!

Linda

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Good morning. I am still so relieved with the verdict that came in last night. The DA had said what a solid case they had, but you always wonder about some technicality or something. Two or Three of the charges were directly related to DH. The sentencing is in Sept and we can go to that, at first DH said he wasn't interested but the more we think about it we might go and it's also a chance of course to go to Denver and see the kids.

Apples, so glad you are loving the dental results already, it will be all the better when you have the permanent ones. Can't wait to see the new smile in Oct.

Linda, everyone named Lori is my age or older too. I give my mom a bad time because I guess around that time was a big soap opera and there was a baby born named Lori. LOL I never had a class in school without at least one other Lori/Laurie/Lauri.

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Linda, We were broke up for 1 1/2 yrs. Feels good to talk about everything. A big part of the problem before both ways. I stopped talking because it did no good and let it happen. We still have a lot of stuff to get thru before this is going to work, but having fun now. He's been my walking partner this week so it makes me want to walk more. lol

LauraK

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Hi guys~ having a crappy day. Just don't feel good, didn't sleep good, and having allergies/headcold stuff. Took something for the allergies and now it has me tough. (always does- antihistamines and decongestants just CLOSE my hole (band) and open my nose). I am breathing a little better but now can only get liquids. If this is the worst of my problems, I know i am ok. Many of you going through MUCH bigger stuff. Puts it all in perspective. Really, you guys help me so much. <hug>

Another big thing.. tomorrow is Nelson's REAL birthday. It's the God given birthday that he came into the world. I know- why does a kid have two birthdays. Well, the birthmother had the kids so close together, one was born exactly 9 mo. after Nelson. Judge had two things- would have cost a LOT more money for DNA testing (2-3K) and 1-2 mo. for the results (would have had to stay in Turkey instead of returnign to the US- Nael was here working and couldn't come there). Or we could change his birthday to March 1 and it would "look" better. Also, made it look on "paper" that mother had waited the right amount of time between Thinking about relinquishing him and actually doing it. (Although actually she gave up custody 3 months prior to any "legal" paperwork), so she had waited much MORE than the 90 days. He didn't have a birth certificate, as he was born at home. On his "adoption/birth/new baby" announcements I put the July birthday. Later our attorney told us it would be IMPOSSIBLE to change it and we had to live with the March 1 birthday. I feel guilty that I agreed to it, but in reality I had no choice. (I was in Turkey with my parents, they had put their lives on hold for all this, judge, attorneys, other family, etc... waiting. $$$ was adding up). Nelson, as I told you guys before, doesn't know he's adopted. So rather than confuse him royally, we Celebrate the March 1st birthday. But my baby boy is really only TOMORROW turning 6. Every year I have a special Mommy & Nelson day, give him some gifts and take him somewhere like Chuckie cheese. Last year I said something like "it's like a 2nd birthday" but we didn't say Happy birthday or anything. Well, I bought a few gifts today and am ready for the day. I am an emotional wreck right now. Crying all day. (Hormones screwed up and really just emotional). I know the day is coming very soon that we need to tell him about his adoption. I have painstakingly laid the groundwork for this over the years. Talking about the "concept" of adoption, using books, movies, real friends with adopted kids. The psychologist had told us to wait since we hadn't said it from really young b/c he is really a sensitive kid. But in the next year she thinks he will be ready and will start asking questions. Already when we were in Paris he was playing with another kid at a restaurant- the kid was from Holland. He asked Nels where he was from and he said "I was born in Turkey, but I am American and live in America." The kid said, "that's cool" and they played. I sat there with my jaw on the floor. So, I am preparing myself for the answers and want to handle it "right". I want to protect him. I don't want him to feel like he was abandoned or unloved. I want him to be able to hear the news without being hurt. But I will bet my life on it that it doesn't come without consequences. Every year on this day I always cry for the birth mother. I feel so for her and wonder if she is thinking and wondering about him. What a selfless miracle that she did, she answered my prayer- but is it haunting her?! Do I get to love this child and watch him turn into a man, at the cost of having broken her heart? I have all these thoughts and usually I handle it all quietly in my head and heart. Today I am crying my eyes out as I type this. Thanks for listening guys, not even sure if this makes sense.

peas/Laura

Edited by peascorps

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Sang for an hour last Sunday night. I tend to dance while I sing, so I consider that quite aerobic.

Danced for almost 2 hours on Monday after walking Navy Pier up and down.

Walked half an hour Weds. morn.

Walked half an hour Thurs. morn

So far, walked half an hr this morning. Plan to get into garden and also do more walking. Pleasant days, yesterday and today. Temp way down. Such a relief.

I almost always walk at least an hour on Saturday, so I'm quite good for this week.

food also good this week. Staying right at 163 lbs.

Love my band.

Cheri

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You guys probably can sense that I am not usually a really religious person, but this is a prayer I wrote in my journal that year that I found online:

Prayer for a Birth Mother, from an Adoptive Mother

Loving God, how can I thank you for the generous woman who gave us her child? Our years of sorrow and emptiness ended with a phone call and a new child in our home. We rejoiced in the utter happiness that this birth mother - and her child - gave us then. We have received so much joy over the years.

We think of this special mother, Lord, this generous woman who bore our child. The one who went through the discomfort of pregnancy and the pains of birth - only to hand her child over to someone else to love and care for.

Please, God, bless the life of this incredibly noble woman. She gave me the great gift of motherhood, and I can imagine the cost to her: an empty spot in her own heart where this child we somehow share, will always abide.

Bless her life, dear Lord. Give her an abundance of happiness and love and family. Please let her feel the prayers we have for her on each birthday of our child, each Mother's Day. We think of her with reverence and love and inexpressible gratitude.

And now fround the other one I had saved:

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.

One you do not remember, the other you call mother.

Two different lives, shaped to make your one...

One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.

One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.

One gave you up ... that's all she could do.

The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me, through your fears,

the age old question unanswered throughout the years...

Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?

Neither, my darling … neither.

Just two different kinds of love.

Edited by peascorps

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      · 2 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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