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Plan was going great until yesterday the best thing i can say I binged uggggghhhhh

I do really good then my brain gets in the way saying I am hungry when I am not help i need therapy

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Good morning. I am up early this morning and ready for my stint at the church office today. Looks like a gorgeous day, we had tornadoes near by last night.

I am so frustrated with these mortgage, realtors, relo folks I am about to go nuts. First on the mortgage for the new house. WE are putting over 50% down, closer to 75%, have credit ratings way up there, DH has been with his company 33 yrs. Good credit risks, no??? We sent them all their paper work like W2's, bank statements, etc. now they call last night at the last minute and wanted 25 more pages of stuff! GRRRRRR Last time we got a home loan we ran into the same crap. Seems the loans we want to get are too small, we have too good of credit so they can't charge us an outrageous interest rate, so they really don't want our business and make us jump through hoops. It's very hard for me to have sympathy for these banks now after all the bad loans they have given. They don't want to work with the good ones! When I sent our bank statements I just sent the first page that showed the balance in our accounts. Oh no that wasn't good enough, if it said 1 of 5 pages, they wanted all 5 pages, even the page that said 'this page intentionally left blank' and the page that explains how to balance a checkbook. What the heck?? DH is out of town, I have no fax machine access. I ended up going to the rec center where I used to work and asked to use theirs and they let me. Oh and I am supposed to sign some paper they fed ex'd me. Huh? What Fed ex? Have not gotten one. Then there's the closing papers on this house. On Monday we got those, took them to the bank and sat there forever signing and having notarized. Until we got to the last page, it made no sense. So I called on it yesterday morning, they said don't worry about that page (it said it must be filled out in it's entirety I was only trying to follow instructions) just sign the back page and have it notarized. What back page?? Seems they forgot to include it. So they said they'd just email it and we should just sign and notarzie. Hello! DH is now out of town til Thurs. So this paper may hold up this closing and the others may hold up the new house closing. And I am powerless in it all it's all out of my control and totally not our fault. DH is gone, so I just stress out here by myself and will confess dealt with it with a bag of Fritos! That makes me even madder, mostly at myself. The scale is up 5 lbs this morning too. GRRRRRRR

Okay vent over. It's probably good that I have to put in these hours at church to keep me distracted. Today I am taking the phone numbers of all the utilites etc. so I can call and disconnect those for next Friday.

That brings up my worst trait: worrying and control freak which reveals my impatience.

Apples, DH has had that same conversation with me about others driving and not honking or 'waving' at them.

Phyl, well enjoy 'your' gym, I am sure they will want you to pay them one day in the meantime you've tried.

Janet, your trainer must be young, one day he will understand.

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Janet......I fertilized your crops this morning.

I don't know why I can't count the biking. I walked and biked yesterday and my back hurt all night. My back doctor said I can't walk for more than two miles a day because of my back problems. So, I will have to set my own goal and satisfy both back and weight loss.

Great, I just saw on TV that you have tornadoes around your city. Please take care! Prayers for your mortgage problems.

Apples.......gotta go babysit then on to nutrition class. I will check in later.

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Lori...your vent does not surprise me at all. It is the way of the mortage industry. DH's parents bought a home in town a few years ago. Had cash for most but did not want to dig into their IRA's for the maybe 20% remaining. I think they jumped through more hoops than my young son did when he bought his home. Crazy. Just try to take time out to breath. Maybe a good thing you are working to no sit at home a fret. It will all eventually fit together. It's just paperwork and just do what is requested and push it back their way as quickly as you can. Thursday is tomorrow and DH will be back.

And, leave the Fritos behind when you leave vowing to NEVER bring them into your new home or anywhere you are tempted. Bet they were tasty though! LOL. Mine wouldn't be plain. They'd have melted cheese, chunky salsa, ground hamburger and sour cream. Bet some of those 5lbs are the sodiom that is in those darned things. Go get a small watermelon or cantelope, cut it up, put in a baggy and make that your to-go-to Snacks when you are stressed. So sorry these weeks are so stressful. You've been through it b/4 and everything will work. Reminds me of when I fret about getting the crops in. DH always says "We always get them in and we always get them out...and, if not, we have insurance". That's when I would have gone and ate a LARGE bag of Cheetos.

OMG...I was just sitting here typing and a thought ran right through my brain. I AM ROSE FROM THE GOLDEN GIRLS. She always dug up a stupid story or saying from her past and shared it to relate to what was going on with someone. OH NO....I've become her.

Edited by Apples2

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Plan was going great until yesterday the best thing i can say I binged uggggghhhhh

I do really good then my brain gets in the way saying I am hungry when I am not help i need therapy

Melissa...sorry you are struggling (hugs). Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go talk to someone. Take a look at your ticker...you have taken so much off and have not taken a big gain or anything. At least you have not gained a bunch back.

Try to get back on track right away this morning and try not to feel defeated. If you feel you need someone to talk to, make the step to do it and set up an appt. right away b/4 you talk yourself out of it.

You know, Charlene is on her plan but she has to be accountable to her doc every week. Maybe that's what you need instead of trying to do this all on your own and beating yourself up when you slip off the plan. I know that for me, it always helped to have someone to check in with and be accountable.

I feel for you, Melissa. You are so close to reaching your goal. (It may seem overwhelming for you but it's not 100lbs). Hugs again:wub:

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Good morning~

Good news this morning... Dad is being discharged. The blood clot situation is stable. They will see him Friday at oncologist for recheck/labs.. and then nothing until PET scan in 6 weeks. (unless of course he doesn't feel good or needs them). The dr told him to start living his life now. He said he is very optimistic about the PET scan and thinks it will be "cold" (which is what you want). Wow. My parents are in really good spirits. Makes me smile.

Today I'm doing laundry, cleaning and then dentist at noon. I haven't been in a couple years and all this talk about dentists got me to make an appt for checkup and cleaning. Thanks guys (Apples).

Lori~ Hope you get that stuff straightened out. Yeah, banks don't want to give you money when you don't need it... and they knock down your door when you don't have any. Just simmer down.. it will ALL work out. : ) (easier said than done)

Apples~WTG on planting and DH and DS being so busy planting. A friend of mine who works for a seed company in Idaho keeps writing Beans and corn... and corn and beans on his FB status..LOL. Seems when it is planting season there is nothing else to update about. Agree on the what you said about AI. I can't help but feel no one is WOWing me this season like previous ones. Just "ok" (feel like randy jackson). WHAT?! Have fun with your friends- stay out of trouble! ; )

Melissa~ hugs. Been there.. done that. Just reread your name.. 1 day at a time. Your good days are way out numbering your bad ones these days.. It's ok not to be perfect. And it's impossible.

Janet~ Hope you are having a good day.

Julie~ Hope you are feeling better. Must be going around everywhere. 10 kids out of 30 were out yesterday in Nels' class. Praying he doesn't get it.

Jewel~ hang in there. Tendonitis in that area is really hard to heal b/c even not exercising- we continue to aggravate it. I think you have really been pushing it hard with the elliptical and such. After it stops hurting- usually about a week of rest. (takes 6 weeks to fully heal) You might be able to add light swimming- doing tiny amounts at a time. If you start hurting you have to stop the full 6 weeks. But you are young, and I bet you will bounce back sooner than you think. That 6 week is an average.

I am still feeling tight. Bitchy. Craving chocolate and sweet tea. Feeling bloated. Must be TOM soon. I guess I did more at the gym than I thought... can barely put my hair in a ponytail today.>LOL. But it feel good to be sore- need to get back to the gym on a regular basis. Eating has been ok. Not great.. but ok. Not gaining and not losing.

Sorry if I forgot somebody. peasout.. Laura

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Laura...I fully get the corn/soybeans boredom talk. That's all I hear for a full 9 months out of the year. Corn, Beans, lay of the land, surveying, how the laser is working/not working, germination, rain/no rain, get this done, get that done, get it done again, and now one more time.

But, even though it all bores me at times, it's a good life and actually quite interesting most of the time. But, will have to admit there are times when DH is talking and all I hear is that voice Charlie Brown heard from his teacher. Nothing. Bad Farm Goddess!

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Ooops...forgot...good news on your dad. Would love to hear that he got up in the plane, out on the boat, went somewhere fun for dinner, etc. I hope your parents will be able to start doing some of those things again. And, you enjoy these good days also. Feels good to have good news, doesn't it?

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Apples, the most beautiful rose though...lol

I love a compliment to start the day and I will accept it. :w00t:

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So I guess as you can see my worse trait is impatience. I update my ticker hower i was 211 now i am 218

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Plan was going great until yesterday the best thing i can say I binged uggggghhhhh

I do really good then my brain gets in the way saying I am hungry when I am not help i need therapy

Hey Girlfriend, don't stress... we all have SLIPS, and that is all it was. A temporary glitch.

As your name suggests ONE DAY AT A TIME... do you know the serenity prayer ? It really helps me stay in the moment. Also I have a daily meditation book that is great... I'll share todays with you.. ( I need to focus on it too)

MAY 19th....FOR TODAY

How unhappy is she who cannot forgive herself -Publilius Syrus

Why didn't I? ....How could I?......What is it with Me?.....

The tendency to hang onto self-condemnation persists with a will of its own. It goes beyond healthy self-criticism, branding judgements deep into the core of my being. Where did I get the notion that I am to be without flaws, make no mistakes?

The OA Program tells me that wrongdoings of the past, both real and imagined, need to be recalled, looked at and disposed of through the directions given in the 12 steps four thru nine.

Is it these all-but-forgotten thoughts and actions that keep me wallowing in guilt, (shame)

which in turn keeps me from facing and resolving my real problems of today?

For today: Forgiveness of myself is one of the first rewards of working the 12 step program.

now I just put this out there for consideration, I do not mean to tell anyone that they need to go to a meeting or join OA... this is just literature that I thought might help:wub:

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Hey Girlfriend, don't stress... we all have SLIPS, and that is all it was. A temporary glitch.

As your name suggests ONE DAY AT A TIME... do you know the serenity prayer ? It really helps me stay in the moment. Also I have a daily meditation book that is great... I'll share todays with you.. ( I need to focus on it too)

MAY 19th....FOR TODAY

How unhappy is she who cannot forgive herself -Publilius Syrus

Why didn't I? ....How could I?......What is it with Me?.....

The tendency to hang onto self-condemnation persists with a will of its own. It goes beyond healthy self-criticism, branding judgements deep into the core of my being. Where did I get the notion that I am to be without flaws, make no mistakes?

The OA Program tells me that wrongdoings of the past, both real and imagined, need to be recalled, looked at and disposed of through the directions given in the 12 steps four thru nine.

Is it these all-but-forgotten thoughts and actions that keep me wallowing in guilt, (shame)

which in turn keeps me from facing and resolving my real problems of today?

For today: Forgiveness of myself is one of the first rewards of working the 12 step program.

now I just put this out there for consideration, I do not mean to tell anyone that they need to go to a meeting or join OA... this is just literature that I thought might help:wub:

Actually this helped thank you so much it means so many people care about me on this site.

I go to my dr monday and just worried what he will say you know not following the plan to continue to lose my weight

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Cool, I`m glad it helped:tongue:

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