So, I know Ive got issues with food.....duh. I know I dont have a ton of will power. I know I eat emotionally. I know I need to stop. So, whats the deal? I am literally unable to change my behavior. I have begun eating compulsively and without thought...or actually, I do think...I just convince myself that whatever Im doing (like eating a bag of cookies) is somehow beneficial.

I am trying to lose 7lbs to reach my pre op surgery goal weight. Thats all fine and dandy...I can lose 7lbs no problem...its those other pesky 143lbs that dont want to come off. I can starve myself, or eat the right things and still "starve"...and end up binging because Im so hungry...and that Wendy's looks mighty tastey right about now...I can work out 6 days a week...I can lose the 7lbs. But what about after surgery? Ive read a lot of posts about folks who are/were frustrated with their band...and I notice that its mostly because they didnt stick to a healthy, restrictive diet. I cant stick to a diet...I think that should be obvious. If I could, I wouldnt need this drastic surgery in the first place. If I just had some sense. If I could just get a hold of my self control.

I know what some of you will say...I need therapy....I dont dispute that...I KNOW I need therapy. I know I need to find out WHY I do these things to myself, and how to figure out how to stop. Problem is....Im a single mother, working 50+ hours per week for a company with no health insurance. I have Kaiser...which is not outstanding in the way of mental health issues. Theres a road block no matter where I turn...I either bust them down...or spend eternity trying to get around them.

Im afraid that I will get the band, and eat around that every chance I get. Im afraid that major abdominal surgery will not be enough to stop me from killing myself...slowly..but surely.

Was there a lightbulb for anyone after surgery? I know Im supposed to be preparing myself by eating right now...so it wont be so hard after. Is there anyone who did a complete 180 after surgery? I want my will power to be enough...I want this so bad. Its terrible, but my Doctor told me Im going to die and leave my kids alone...why isnt that statement alone enough to make me change my ways for good?! I feel like a monster.

phew....that was long, nonsensical, and rambling...anyone get my jist?

So, I know Ive got issues with food.....duh. I know I dont have a ton of will power. I know I eat emotionally. I know I need to stop. So, whats the deal? I am literally unable to change my behavior. I have begun eating compulsively and without thought...or actually, I do think...I just convince myself that whatever Im doing (like eating a bag of cookies) is somehow beneficial.

I am trying to lose 7lbs to reach my pre op surgery goal weight. Thats all fine and dandy...I can lose 7lbs no problem...its those other pesky 143lbs that dont want to come off. I can starve myself, or eat the right things and still "starve"...and end up binging because Im so hungry...and that Wendy's looks mighty tastey right about now...I can work out 6 days a week...I can lose the 7lbs. But what about after surgery? Ive read a lot of posts about folks who are/were frustrated with their band...and I notice that its mostly because they didnt stick to a healthy, restrictive diet. I cant stick to a diet...I think that should be obvious. If I could, I wouldnt need this drastic surgery in the first place. If I just had some sense. If I could just get a hold of my self control.

I know what some of you will say...I need therapy....I dont dispute that...I KNOW I need therapy. I know I need to find out WHY I do these things to myself, and how to figure out how to stop. Problem is....Im a single mother, working 50+ hours per week for a company with no health insurance. I have Kaiser...which is not outstanding in the way of mental health issues. Theres a road block no matter where I turn...I either bust them down...or spend eternity trying to get around them.

Im afraid that I will get the band, and eat around that every chance I get. Im afraid that major abdominal surgery will not be enough to stop me from killing myself...slowly..but surely.

Was there a lightbulb for anyone after surgery? I know Im supposed to be preparing myself by eating right now...so it wont be so hard after. Is there anyone who did a complete 180 after surgery? I want my will power to be enough...I want this so bad. Its terrible, but my Doctor told me Im going to die and leave my kids alone...why isnt that statement alone enough to make me change my ways for good?! I feel like a monster.

phew....that was long, nonsensical, and rambling...anyone get my jist?

Abby,

I am not banded and I am scared to death. (I just ate some biscuits while reading your entry--even though I have two fruit cups sitting right on my desk.:tongue2:) I'm looking at this procedure as something that will help me change those bad habits...not change them for me. I try to get on this site at least once a day and I read about people struggling to overcome "our" bad habits and struggling for the strength to get through the day without sabotaging themselves. I haven't read anyone say that this is easy or a piece of cake :scared2:. What I have read are mostly supportive comments from people who seem to really care that everyone succeeds. I think that you have come to the right place for most of your support, but I agree that you still need to find someone to help you figure out the "WHY?" I eat question. Hang in there and let us know how you're doing periodically.:smile2:

Abby, I have to tell you that my surgeon made so much sense of it all during the seminar I attended back in February. Our problems are caused by one thing only....obesity is a DISEASE. We have all lost weight successfully on our own. We all know exactly what we "need" to do and how to do it. We do not have a lack of "will power"....but if we could "just do it" then we would, but we CAN'T...we have a disease. Just the same as an alcoholic or drug addict...when they "fall of the wagon" it's not because they just have no will power...they have a disease that they can't control on their own. Just like them, we need support groups. We need mentors and peers who know what we're going through and with who we can share our feelings and successes/road bumps....

Is the band a magic surgery? NO. We all know that. It's a TOOL to help us change our habits and to become healthier...but we still need the support to get through the day to day things. That's why these boards (for me anyway) are so great. There is NOTHING that you can put in here that at least one other person hasn't already gone through or is currently going through. Between this board, a local support group, and a psychiatrist (if you really need one), you'll be fine! We all will! :sad:

Barbie

Obesity may be a disease, but everytime we put a bite of food in our mouths that is comfort eating or binge eating or just plain overeating, we are responsible. Alcoholics and drug addicts make a decision each time they abuse their chosen substance.

We may have a proclivity to food addiction or to eating addiction, but WE make the decision to feed it.

I think it's extremely important to claim responsibility for our feelings and our (in the past) poor choices, in the same way we can now claim responsibility for our GOOD choices.

Feel the power, babies, it's awesome!!:sad:

Obesity may be a disease, but everytime we put a bite of food in our mouths that is comfort eating or binge eating or just plain overeating, we are responsible. Alcoholics and drug addicts make a decision each time they abuse their chosen substance.

We may have a proclivity to food addiction or to eating addiction, but WE make the decision to feed it.

I think it's extremely important to claim responsibility for our feelings and our (in the past) poor choices, in the same way we can now claim responsibility for our GOOD choices.

Feel the power, babies, it's awesome!!

Just like smokers are addicted to nicotene, or alcholics to booze, we are addicted to food. Just like smokers use a nicotene patch, or gum or Chatix as a "Tool" to help them quit, or Alcholics use a drug to help them get off booze, we are not much different than any other addics. The band, along with education and support gives us the best chance to change our lives, and get off our addiction. Still, we have to want to make the changes, and have the dedication to do it.

Well i sure know what you are going thru- there is a web site foodaddicts that can help- help by learning when you have 24 hours of thought of food you have a chemical addiction and wheat flour sugar---they have a clean up you can do and that is being absitenant from these things -what you will learn is it takes away the thoughts as those foods you have been eating you are chemiacaly addicted two--it is not about will power at all- it is just like a drug---be well Linda

1. you will be able to eat oreo's but no likely an entire bag

2. once you start losing the weight, you typically will not want the sweets like you did before

3. if you detox yourself, when you eat them, it will make you feel ill.

you can do this, one way or another.

??Detox?? hum, interesting. Any details available?

well, typically the diet following surgery does not allow for sweets or any sugar at all. if you follow the rules, you will go through withrdrawal symptoms, and when you try to eat them again you will feel sick (most people). if you don't break from them, you won't...if you eat past the sick feeling you will be just as addicted to them.

just like drug detox...stop eating it.