So, I know Ive got issues with food.....duh. I know I dont have a ton of will power. I know I eat emotionally. I know I need to stop. So, whats the deal? I am literally unable to change my behavior. I have begun eating compulsively and without thought...or actually, I do think...I just convince myself that whatever Im doing (like eating a bag of cookies) is somehow beneficial.

I am trying to lose 7lbs to reach my pre op surgery goal weight. Thats all fine and dandy...I can lose 7lbs no problem...its those other pesky 143lbs that dont want to come off. I can starve myself, or eat the right things and still "starve"...and end up binging because Im so hungry...and that Wendy's looks mighty tastey right about now...I can work out 6 days a week...I can lose the 7lbs. But what about after surgery? Ive read a lot of posts about folks who are/were frustrated with their band...and I notice that its mostly because they didnt stick to a healthy, restrictive diet. I cant stick to a diet...I think that should be obvious. If I could, I wouldnt need this drastic surgery in the first place. If I just had some sense. If I could just get a hold of my self control.

I know what some of you will say...I need therapy....I dont dispute that...I KNOW I need therapy. I know I need to find out WHY I do these things to myself, and how to figure out how to stop. Problem is....Im a single mother, working 50+ hours per week for a company with no health insurance. I have Kaiser...which is not outstanding in the way of mental health issues. Theres a road block no matter where I turn...I either bust them down...or spend eternity trying to get around them.

Im afraid that I will get the band, and eat around that every chance I get. Im afraid that major abdominal surgery will not be enough to stop me from killing myself...slowly..but surely.

Was there a lightbulb for anyone after surgery? I know Im supposed to be preparing myself by eating right now...so it wont be so hard after. Is there anyone who did a complete 180 after surgery? I want my will power to be enough...I want this so bad. Its terrible, but my Doctor told me Im going to die and leave my kids alone...why isnt that statement alone enough to make me change my ways for good?! I feel like a monster.

phew....that was long, nonsensical, and rambling...anyone get my jist?

Aww Abby. I do hope things start going better for you. When I get hungry now I drink some Water or eat a yogurt and I don't let my mom or me buy any more junk food that I CAN binge on.

Lol yesterday I was sick and really hungry from being sick all day and having nothing in me so I ate like 3 bowls of salad. Filled me up plus it wasnt bad for me at all.

I used to do exactly what you did. Buy Cookies eat a whole bag, feel depressed over what I did, eat more because I was depressed etc. I dunno what came over me I havent even had surgery yet!

I've come to see when I eat a bad food now like chocolate or chips or fast food not even over eating just eating normally it makes me feel sick to my stomach and I'll have a stomach ache for a few hours. I've just gotten into the healthier eating mode wanting to lose weight on my 6 month diet before surgery.

I've been eating so much healthy food that I am not even getting the right amount of calories in so I had to add some things that had a bit of higher calories so I could get past 1200 a day. I was down in the 800, 900, 1000.

Anyway I wish you luck.:cursing:

Edited May 20, 200818 yr by froggi1985
I'm an idiot. :)

Abby,

Stop and think about the real reason you are having this surgery. You really need to be serious. The band is a tool. It will not work on it's own. Yes, there are frustrations that go along with the band, but there are also triumphs. Good Luck!

I think we all feel the way you do and have eaten horrible junk to get to where we are today. I'm hoping that the lap-band will make it quite difficult to eat a whole bag of oreos, though. I'm not banded yet, but they say the easiest foods to eat with the band are liquids and mushies. So if you can steer clear of ice cream, smoothies, and such, then you should be able to let the band work for you (i.e. make you less hungry).

It's not going to be easy. But there was a period in my life where I watched what I ate and was thin. Then I fell into bad habits where I didn't deny myself anything. I'm hoping that I can retrain myself with the help of the band.

Maybe you're a better candidate for gastric bypass because that makes it hard to eat sugar. But there are plenty of people with gastric bypass who eat around their surgery too, so you still have to change your eating.

At this point in medical technology, there isn't anything that's a real cure for overeating, esp. if you consider "head hunger" that can persist rather than real hunger (which is also a serious issue). But the lap-band is the best we have right now.

okay, i'm probably going to get blasted for saying this, but i really think you need to try to get to grips BEFORE you get the band. you WILL be able to eat around it, and you especially will probably be able to eat Cookies, cakes, and junk. it goes down easy. if you have a terrible sweet tooth, you may need to look into another surgery.

i'm not saying that to be mean, but it does take some degree of dedication afterward. i did not have a huge sweet tooth, but i liked sweets occasionally (all the time if you count sweet tea!!!), i still struggle.

i however, was not a binge eater, and i never ate an entire bag of oreo's so i can't say from personal experience that it made a difference.

some words of encouragement however:

1. you will be able to eat oreo's but no likely an entire bag

2. once you start losing the weight, you typically will not want the sweets like you did before

3. if you detox yourself, when you eat them, it will make you feel ill.

you can do this, one way or another.

Bandster 1007

I completely agree!!!

Abby,

Please let your psychologist know how you are feeling, hopefully they will be able to help you cope with these feelings.

Good luck to all.

Second what bandster said. Abby, You need to get ahold of these issues before you get banded. The band won't help with the urge to eat when you are not hungry (compulsive eating). And, sorry to be blunt, but.....eating an entire bag of oreos is not a hunger issue. It's compulsive eating.

I'm sure everybody on this board has told you this at one time or another, but you have to do your part or you won't lose weight with the band. And, bottom line, why go through the cost and pain of getting banded if you know in your secret heart that you'll probably end up eating around the band?

Anyway, I think you know all these things, because you sound like a smart person. The decision is yours to make. Good luck!

My friend Lexy (banded yesterday!!! so proud of you girl!!) has heard me say a million times that *there is a mental addiction to food that is largely going unaddressed.* I don't mean compulsive eating, I don't mean emotional eating, I mean a mental obsession.

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:

- I think about food from the minute I get up until I go to sleep.

- When I eat, I think about what I should have eaten instead.

- When I am not eating, my thoughts often stray to what I will eat later.

This is EXHAUSTING!!!! Abby I felt just like you before I got the band. Once I got my magic fill, the hunger largely disappeared, and it was just a matter of breaking bad habits. Oh my GOD I wish I could show you how much easier it is to retrain yourself when you're not battling your damn hunger, too!! It's how normal people see food. It's AMAZING!

By the time I was filled properly, 6 oreos would make me feel as sick and stuffed as a whole bag. I love oreos :cursing:

oh, I'm a major cookie monster (ask lexy) and my weight loss has stalled because of it. But here's the great thing about the band:

You can start over with the band whenever you're ready.

You just need to be HONEST with yourself.

Tonight I ate a cheese calzone :cryin: I should have had a veggie cake. Know what? I enjoyed every bite. I know I delayed a pound of weight loss by another day or two, but I've also lost 8 lbs since May 1. I'm at the point where I know the cycle. Some weeks I'm motivated and not hungry; some weeks I want the comfort of food.

Personally, *for me*, the balance of always trying and never giving up with forgiveness and NOT guilting myself when I go off diet is the real beauty of the band. I have a much healthier relationship with food than I ever have.

3.5 years later, my biggest problem with eating is unconscious eating. When i'm dining with someone I talk constantly and forget about food. When I'm home, I watch TV and snack til I realize I've eaten the whole calzone. More than I intended to. It's just something I work on. I don't have to be perfect, but I will never stop trying.

Be kind to yourself darling It will come. I promise you, the peace will come. Surrender to it now, and your whole band experience will be that much better. I promise. Just know you're gonna have ups and downs.

Edited May 21, 200818 yr by kcampbell

Hi,

I could, and did eat an entire bag of oreos b4 banding. I've been banded for 9 weeks and have no desire to now eat a whole bag. I would like some but it is easy to not have any. I've lost 45pds (20 pre op) this is fast and not typical but not unheard of. You can beat the band... ice cream, shakes, etc. Most ppl are very very happy with their band, but not all. The people who fail are eating for non hunger reasons. A good psych evaluation will help you figure it out. The band is a tool.... a great tool. It is not a magic answer.

Hey Abby, you might want to go to the section here "lap band social groups" and click on "lapband strugglers". I think there are some folks there that might have some things in common with you. That would be a great place to ask questions like the one you asked here.

So, I know Ive got issues with food.....duh. I know I dont have a ton of will power. I know I eat emotionally. I know I need to stop. So, whats the deal? I am literally unable to change my behavior. I have begun eating compulsively and without thought...or actually, I do think...I just convince myself that whatever Im doing (like eating a bag of cookies) is somehow beneficial.

I am trying to lose 7lbs to reach my pre op surgery goal weight. Thats all fine and dandy...I can lose 7lbs no problem...its those other pesky 143lbs that dont want to come off. I can starve myself, or eat the right things and still "starve"...and end up binging because Im so hungry...and that Wendy's looks mighty tastey right about now...I can work out 6 days a week...I can lose the 7lbs. But what about after surgery? Ive read a lot of posts about folks who are/were frustrated with their band...and I notice that its mostly because they didnt stick to a healthy, restrictive diet. I cant stick to a diet...I think that should be obvious. If I could, I wouldnt need this drastic surgery in the first place. If I just had some sense. If I could just get a hold of my self control.

I know what some of you will say...I need therapy....I dont dispute that...I KNOW I need therapy. I know I need to find out WHY I do these things to myself, and how to figure out how to stop. Problem is....Im a single mother, working 50+ hours per week for a company with no health insurance. I have Kaiser...which is not outstanding in the way of mental health issues. Theres a road block no matter where I turn...I either bust them down...or spend eternity trying to get around them.

Im afraid that I will get the band, and eat around that every chance I get. Im afraid that major abdominal surgery will not be enough to stop me from killing myself...slowly..but surely.

Was there a lightbulb for anyone after surgery? I know Im supposed to be preparing myself by eating right now...so it wont be so hard after. Is there anyone who did a complete 180 after surgery? I want my will power to be enough...I want this so bad. Its terrible, but my Doctor told me Im going to die and leave my kids alone...why isnt that statement alone enough to make me change my ways for good?! I feel like a monster.

phew....that was long, nonsensical, and rambling...anyone get my jist?

Hey Abby,

I can relate to your struggle, however what i relate it to now is that death is real... and I know by not having a mother or a brother now is one of the hardest things of my life that i have had to deal with, if you have never had to deal with death head on that close that it would be hard for you to relate to what yr Dr. said and make a change. I didn't have to have a Dr. to tell me that I told myself. I made the change so i could prevent any type of adverse medical situations occuring in my life. My child didnt ask to have 1 fat parent and why should he have to suffer.... ITS NOT FAIR TO THE CHILDREN...... Do u think they feel good about their FAT parent coming to pick them up from school or going with them to the park eating like they are grazing at a freeking farm....HELL NO... they would rather our fat azz stay at home and play video games behind 4-walls instead of getting out and enjoying life the way it was ment to be. Not sure how long you have been overweight but if you have never experienced living a fit life you should want to its like being re-born again.. so many things are brand new to you that you can enjoy and your focus is not being happy because of what you are going to eat but just because of life and being healthy.... u can do it. Also check into your area. There are free counceling sessions everywhere... check with catholic charities or something you dont have to be catholic to use their services...lol.. they are a great org. that helps people that need it.... if not u will eat yourself to DEATH AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE ORPHANS IN GOD KNOW'S WHO'S HOME..... WHO SAYS THAT YOUR FAMILY WILL WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH YOUR PROBLEMS AFTER YOUR GONE??????? and i'm not sorry for the tuff luv either... Because u can and will do it....

:wink2:

Abby (love that title, by the way - my hubby and I quote it frequently) I am in the same boat you are! I feel EXACTLY THE SAME. AS YOU! I am reading all of these posts from post-banders and it seems like they aren't "fat like me", they are the "thin types" I am hearing how fitness and energy and eating right changed their life - then maybe they are just "those types" of people - of which I am not! I am confused because no one really ever says - "WOW, this band put a stop to all my overeating" - which is why in the hell I am getting it - they say - "I changed, or my eating habits had to change, or I had to do the work" - all rhetoric of Weight Watchers or weight loss gurus - things I have never been able to identify with. If these folks changed so drastically - where does the band really fit in? And it seems that the post-banders view the pre-banders as "unenlightened thinkers" about food and we need to develop a new way of eating and viewing food - but that is the problem in the first place. No one seems to attribute the weight loss and change to the band, but to their habits and will power (which is all you have pre-op and for maybe several months post-op). I don't get it and I keep thinking - weren't these people all as fat and out of control as me?????????

I am absolutely amazed by all your heartfelt responses. I truly dont mind the tough love thing. It reminds me of my mom's advice...which is something I wish I had right now :-)

I think the root of all this is guilt. I feel guilty for everything I do and dont do.

Truth is, Ive lost 100 lbs before on my own...no band, no diets...just good old fashioned excersise and lots and LOTS of fiber. I was critical of those who couldnt do it on their own...like me. Now I feel horribly guilty for all that critisism (even if it was just in my thoughts), because now, I am that person who cant do it on their own. Granted, lots of things have changed for me since I lost, and subsequently gained my pesky 100lbs. I know I am a different person now, both physically and emotionally. I know I am unhappy in most aspects of my life...which Im sure contributes to my lack of all motivation to be the best me. I know all these things, and I know I am the only one who can fix it.

Im jealous of those who can just do it. Im jealous because that used to be ME. I desperately want it to be me again. Im opening up on this board because I think others (like Noahsmom) feel similar to me. We see all these posts about how easy and great it is to be healthy. How easy and great it is to lose weight, and change every bad habit in regards to food. I applaud those people. I think they're truly ready for this surgery, and have a great chance of living a full, healthy life. But what about those of us who arent ready...but HAVE to be. I have to get myself ready. I dont have a choice....its get ready, or die...period.

I didnt check this forum for over a week...and I felt my motivation wane. I just now made a promise to check this website and post as frequently as possible. I feel more motivated now, than I have in serveral weeks...I need to keep this momentum.

Thanks everyone (even those who are critical)...I need it more than you know!

A

Abby, please know there are 1000's of people who feel the same you do at one time or another in our journey to better health. Don't be so hard on yourself. Matter of fact this is the time that you need to look yourself in the mirror and tell that girl "I'm going to take care of you and we're going to get better...one day at a time/one minute at a time". You have beat yourself up so much for so long for wanting/eating stuff you know that you should that you can't get past the guilt. STOP IT. Yesterday is yesterday and you may (more than likely you will) do it again. So what, don't use it as an excuse to pig out - just pick yourself up and get back in the race girl. You're going to it. Maybe you can join a local support group (overaters anonomous) or find a group here that you can pour your heart out to on a regular basis. All the best to you! oxoxox

guilt is only going to cause you more problems.

i can tell you though that after being banded, i went through the most emotional turmoil that i have ever been through. it was really hard, i didn't realize how much it ate emotionally. and when you suddenly aren't able to handle your emotions the way you used to be able too, it is kind of hard.

but, i am not discouraging you from getting the band. but the simple fact is you can eat around your band.

i am by no means perfect. i had 2 ice cream snickers last night, and today, i had 3 bites of a sonic burger and 3 onion rings. my doc says the latter is ok, cuz i didn't eat much and still got some Protein. truth is i should have skipped the onion rings.

point being, i still make bad choices, but i am still losing weight. once your hunger is gone from the band, and you are forced to go through food withdrawals right after surgery (liquid diet), it is a lot easier to make the right choices. when you aren't driven by hunger you are more rational.

i don't even care about food anymore. sometimes on the weekend, i completely forget to eat!! ha....hadn't done that since i was in high school!! i'll start shaking and them i'm like..oh i need to eat (i have sugar problems).

..and i was a total fast food junkie, and still am to a degree because i do not cook very often, but i make better choices, and even if i don't i can't eat much.

..oh and as for losing the weight, gaining it back, then not being able to lose it again...i would say that most of us are in the same boat...that is why we have surgery.

we cannot beat ourselves up over it, or we will never free ourselves from the fat or the fat mentality.