I love my band, let me just say that. I've lost 70 pounds so far, but got an unfill 4 weeks ago due to being too tight. I was going to go back after a couple of weeks, but I got sidetracked with some personal issues that took all my free time.

Now I'm free to go back but I've fallen into the basic fat person's mentality. My birthday is soon and we're planning a trip to Dave and Buster's and I'm not getting a fill because I want to eat and drink that night without pb'ing or restricting my intake.

And, God. I hate how that looks as I write it down.

I feel like I have the angel on one shoulder saying, "Go get the fill...you've had plenty of birthdays" and the devil on the other going, "It's just another week...what's a week?"

I'm doing WW with my daughter and I keep creeping up in weight. I've gained one pound every week since going, but I wasn't worried because I'll be getting a fill soon.

But I feel like a fake, and on top of that, I feel like a failure.

And, THOSE feelings propel me further into eating! I can't win when I'm fighting me.

Help!? Fill NOW (Okay, Monday since Doc doesn't do fills on Fridays or weekends.) Or wait until after the 18th?

Ivyrose, we were born on the same day!

Gloucester, I am glad you are getting the fill. My comment was going to be that you weren't probably going to be fully filled right away anyway...

Oooh...Bonus! I hadn't thought of that. I get to appease my guilt and eat my cake, too! (or, at least a bite or two...right?)

:wink2:

Sorry I'm late Gloucoster. I am so happy you decided to pick up the phone and make the appointment. Sometimes that can be the hardest part.

You rock dear.

Oh, yes...Called on Friday and the next appt is Tues in the morning. I've been mostly good today, since I know getting a fill when you've eaten sucks.

'Cept, I did ask my BF to make his famous chili for dinner tonight. I've missed it in the last several months (Near Thanksgiving is when I had it last).

Interesting, too was this memory of mine: Several years ago I'd lost 50 pounds on Atkins (the most I've lost ever on any diet, aside from my band) and I blew it on my birthday. After a year, my mother made a great cake for me and I had some, thinking I'd just go back on it the next day...then next week...then next month - and POOF! 50 pounds plus came right back on in no time and I've never been on Atkins since.

Something about my damn birthday! :wink2: lol

"And so if I lost all the weight I would no longer have any excuses..now none of this is concious...but I think it is legit...also, I am single and I think sometimes I keep men at bay by being overweight..I get in relationships..but can use weight as the reason they do not succeed."

My college roommate was overweight and she used to say she did not want to lose weight before she had a man because she wanted to know he loved her and not the way she looked. She worried about what would happen if she lost weight, met a guy, then gained weight. Would he still love her?

I know this is not an answer, but I wanted to share that you are not alone in these feelings.

I'm late to the party as usual. To fill or not to fill has been answered.

Taking action when you recognize bad behavior is the key to success, not eliminating all bad behavior. Because those thoughts/actions are going to happen, it's hard to control. But recognizing that you can see you are making bad decisions then moving to make good ones is THE path to success.

Awesome job on the call for the fill.

Taking action when you recognize bad behavior is the key to success, not eliminating all bad behavior.

I love this! So many times I beat myself up for being a failure and it's because I have bad faults and do try to eliminate them. I'm seeing now that's impossible to do and it's just setting myself up for failure.

I think sometimes the idea of success is just as scary as the idea of failure.

That might sound off, but I find it to be true.

I think sometimes the idea of success is just as scary as the idea of failure.

That might sound off, but I find it to be true.

No, not off. It's absolutely true.

I'm in a situaton now where I'm comfortable in life financially - I'm still mostly broke, but I make do with a house, a good job, a new-ish car and take a trip every year. I work hard to maintain that, though, and one slip and I'm back to broke in heartbeat.

Well, I'm selling my house my brother wants to buy it. He was scheduled to take a trip in Sept, but I can't wait that long, since it's on the market now and I want to be settled before school begins. Soooo, I decided to buy him and his wife and airline ticket to come for the weekend. I have credit - and I'll use it! So, his comment to my mother was that I must be made of money. I've lent him money, and I supplement my parent's rent since they're on retirement income.

In a family that doesn't have too many "successes" it can be a little strange to be the on to get ahead. All eyes are on you, and some are not so friendly. It's definitely easier to stay in the shadows than to out-shine your loved ones.

Oh that sucks.

It really bothers me when people you love are waiting for you to fail to make themselves feel better. It's like they can accept their own shortcomings as long as everyone around them is not doing any better.

kind of like that saying...

Lord if I can't be skinny make all my friends fat

But you know what happens when everyone you know is fat...you just keep getting fatter.

Yeah...there was a study done recently about that. About fat being contagious. It's true. When I'm with skinny people, I eat at their pace because I don't want to embarass myself. But, when I'm around fatter people, I'll eat more.

I would rather be the odd-ball and eat at MY pace, which now is great!!! (I just got back from my fill...3ccs)

Yay! Don't you feel better?

This has been a great discussion.

I too have been on the edge of getting another fill, we are going on vacation in July and I thought I would wait until we got back.

Everyone here has inspired me to go get the fill I know I need. It's amazing how we can sabotage the one thing we truly want - to loose the weight.

The head games never stop and it needs people here to give someone a guick swift kick in the a** so to speak.

Thanks to everyne for being honest, it helps more people than you may think.

03-07 - 374lbs - Started the journey

10-07 - 349lbs - Surgery Date

05-08 - 295lbs - Current - finally broke the 3's

Yay! Don't you feel better?

100%! I love this feeling! Those size 16s I bought months ago are still waiting for me!

This has been a great discussion.

I too have been on the edge of getting another fill, we are going on vacation in July and I thought I would wait until we got back.

Everyone here has inspired me to go get the fill I know I need. It's amazing how we can sabotage the one thing we truly want - to loose the weight.

The head games never stop and it needs people here to give someone a guick swift kick in the a** so to speak.

Thanks to everyne for being honest, it helps more people than you may think.

03-07 - 374lbs - Started the journey

10-07 - 349lbs - Surgery Date

05-08 - 295lbs - Current - finally broke the 3's

:tongue2: Congratulations! :smile2:

I love this site for it's honesty. When I call for "support" from my friends, I know how to word it and manipulate it so that they end up saying, "oh, go ahead and eat the cake...it won't hurt you. here, I'll even join you!" Why not be fat forever, you know?

Here, at LBT, you don't get lipservice! You get the kick in the rear that you NEED...not the advice that you WANT.

Get the fill, get back on target. You've (we've) come so far!