OK, I still want to lose a minimum of 35 lbs., so I'm not ready for a whole new wardrobe yet, but I have been getting pretty desperate for clothes. So, despite my cheapness, I decided I had to get a couple of new spring things that fit. I went to Target yesterday and found a pair of size 18 trousers that actually look good on me, then off to Lane Bryant, where the 16Talls did the trick. I got a couple of 14/16 blouses and lots of underpants (long overdue). So far so good.

While in the lingerie section, I faced racks of lacy bras suitable for slinging grapefruits and cantaloupes, not the humble tangerines I've been carrying. I took a deep breath and asked one of the saleswomen if the store had anything that might fit, ahem, "women with no tits." She stared at the items in question and said, "just how small are we talking about here?" At this point I had lost all shame, so I just cupped my puppies over my baggy sweater. She squinted and screwed up her face. "We might have something that will work. Make them look bigger, I mean." She handed me a padded black number. I was skeptical, but off to the fitting room I went, and after some tricky hydraulic maneuvers I was locked and loaded -- with cleavage! Which I haven't had for 50 lbs.! So I am going to be strutting the girls high and with pride. . . never mind that I'm in my late 40s.

I have to laugh at myself. Somehow I thought as my weight dropped I would regain the same shape I had years ago when I dieted down to various sizes. As I tried on old (and I mean old) clothes that used to fit me when I was this weight, I figured that the years in storage somehow affected fabrics, because items that glided right over my hips wouldn't fasten around my waist. Painful moments in the stores' full-length mirrors have persuaded me that the problem is not with the garments!

Way to go Zoe! You strut them!

Oh, the girls are so proud now!!! Sling em up there Zoe, they like it high! You are so funny...enjoy that cleavage!!

I am the same way with the clothes as I age, a size 14 would never fit me the same as it used to before 2 pregnancies and before turning even 30. The same weight is just distributed differently...ah, aging, but I prefer the wisdom to the tight figure, however curvey! Just get me to 140 and I'll handle the rest with dignity!

Push em up, push em up, real high, lol. On another note, I've always found it amazing how clothes left hanging in the closet for a couple of years ALWAYS shrink at least two sizes. WTG Lady.

Zoe: I hear ya. I know the bra you are referring to and I bought one awhile back. I noticed the bra has this removable item that you can have cleavage or not. LOL!! Cleavage was never a problem for me. I got that I just think it is supposed to be up higher and not down around my belly button. LOL!!!!

YEAH ZOE has cleavage. STRUT girl!!

Great NSV, Zoe. Enjoy!!

I know exactly what you mean about the proportions changing. Before I had kids I could never understand why anyone would need elastic-waist anything. I mean, just buy them in the right size, right? But now that my waistline has lived through carrying two babies, those elastic waistbands can come in handy.

Go Zoe!!! If I can find one to lift mine up I'll be happy LOL!!! ENJOY!!

Shaz, looks like you're a Chicagoan; check out Lane Bryant. The bras are kinda expensive but honey THEY WORK. They have sizes from 38B to 48DDD, I think. I went to the one on Addison St. (near Target). The Wabash Ave. store has even more. Penni's right -- this particular number comes with little plastic pads that help push everything up and forward. They are removable but mine are staying put forever! The dog would probably just chew them anyway.

Alex and Kathy, I know what you mean about elastic waists. My mother used to be a size 10 but wore elastic waist everything. When I was much younger, I had an hourglass figure (an enormous hourglass, but still...) and I thought Mom was a real slattern. How she could be seen in public in nothing but elastic waist pants? Now I know! Sorry, Mom.

Unfortunately, DDD just doesn't work for some of us... I think I need to hire an engineer who designs bridges to design a bra for me...

Zoe,

I can Definately relate to the whole bra trauma. I think My "buppies" look like a tired pair of tennis balls that someone let the air out of!

Still though, I'd rather look like my chin could rest on my bitty girls then to have a pair of rocks in a sock.

I just bought a top from Kohls that my DH said "Oh MY!!!" when I tried it on for him, all you need is one of these tops and one of your new Bras and you're good to go:)

http://www.kohls.com/products/product_page_vanilla3.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=160419313&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=10635749&bmUID=1111937250377

Hal-lay-lou-ya for Lane Bryant~!!!

Enjoy!!

Pati, LMAO with your tennis ball comment! Thanks for the Kohl's fashion tip.That top is cute -- and it's exactly what the BBC's "What Not to Wear" girls say someone with my shape should get. I think I'll buy one in every color!

Whoo hoo, Zoe!! Congrats!!

I have a small fortune invested in bras from Lane Bryant...

Well who knew that when I was 12 and stayed up late at night doing my WE MUST, WE MUST INCREASE OUR BUST exercises they would work. I wear a size 38D which to some of you isn't that big, but they are BIG!! And the worst part, they don't shrink with weight loss, they stay.... The best bras are WACOAL bras, I love them they run $50-$90 but they are worth every penny. Oprah had a show on several years ago dedicated to this very subject and that is where I discovered these amazing bras, wouldn't change them for anything else.

And the worst part, they don't shrink with weight loss, they stay.

Some people have all the luck.

I'm at work now and I had to throw on a jacket because my cleavage was showing, even in a fairly modest blouse, and I was feeling self-conscious. (We have a very strict office dress code.) But I'm digging it! Estela, if/when I reach my goal weight, I think I'll splurge on one of those Wacoal bras... if I'm not literally reduced to wearing boys' undershirts.

The tactless but funny friend who told me that I "looked like a normal person" after I lost 30-some pounds left a message last week after seeing me in one of the new bras: "Wow, you have big tits! I guess I never noticed them before because of your girth." I'm just glad I didn't play this message while I was at work. And, by the way, it's not true -- just an illusion courtesy of Lane Bryant's bra department.

Alot of my life I was nicknamed - Plywood. Even since I gained weight the largest cup size I've had is a B ( and that is really pushing it ). I am expecting to return to the land where fried eggs are bigger than me. I always said I was going to get implants for 50 but since I will be paying for my band until I'm 58 (I refinanced my house) I guess the band is my implant...