I'm in the process of going through all my preop. testing and I'm trying to think of a way to hide the fact that I'm getting a Lap Band from my work. I work with all women and they can be very nosey. Plus this is something I want to keep between me and my family.

Has anyone felt the same way? How did you handle your coworkers? How did you explain a week off of work?

Thanks...

I'm hoping to have my surgery date soon, just waiting on insurance approval. Some people at work know and the really cool thing is that most of the ones that know are doing it also or have already had it done! 5 or 6 of us are doing the lap band and one is doing rny....I didn't really want it to be public information, but I'm sure the cat will get outta the bag in no time. I know there will be those that judge...but I figure if that's what they're about they're probably already judging me for being fat anyway. I try not to let things like that bother me...I figure what could I do about it anyway?! lol....I just know this is the best thing I can do for me and that's the most important thing.

I am keeping it to myself with an exception of a select few. My closest friends and sister will know and that's it. I don't want the attention from people watching my every move and judging me. I also don't want constant questions about how much weight I am losing etc. It's annoying when you're the type of person who doesn't like attention drawn towards you.

I just put in a vacation request and got it approved. I'm not sure what I'm going to say if someone asks where I'm going. I guess I need to figure it out soon. As far as my eating habits changing...that's not going to be an issue. I am sort of a moble therapist so I eat alone in my car or cafe most days while I work on paperwork. If people notice I'm losing weight and ask about it, I plan to tell them I'm just eating less. It's going to be the truth lol!

The truth is...it's no one's business. It's a person decision if one wants to be open about it or not. I prefer to keep in my circle.

I also plan not to tell any of my co-workers. My officemate tends to get preachy and overhelpful with the 'suggestions' regarding weight and health. I was going to ask for vacation time, then I got kind of paranoid over the possibility of having complications and needing more time off (this was when I was still waffling between lap-band and RNY). They all know about the upper GI testing I've done and when I tell them I'm having minor surgery, let them guess.

Its telling my Mom that I worry about.

Peej

I have told a close friend, my daughter and of course my DH. Surgery is scheduled for 3/20 and I have taken of W-Th-F. I realize there is a possibility I won't be ready to return M or T, therefore, I will call in sick. My co-workers are very opinionated and I do not want to deal with their questions. Hopefully I will return to work on Wed.

To tell or not to tell - this subject is so dear to my heart! I was just banded on 03/07 and I have not really told many people. My manager knows the whole story at work and one other girl who is having the same surgery. She and I have been good support for one another! Only our supervisor knows I had surgery. I went back to work on Wednesday and struggled to make it through the day. Thursday and Friday I took a 1/2 day. That helped tremendously! I have been able to skirt the issue and will continue to do so for as long as possible. I have never felt that my weight was public domain even though a weight problem is pretty apparent. MY DH and kids know, of course, and they have been really good about everything! I will continue on my path regardless of who I decide to inform as time goes by.

First I just want to say this: It is NO ONE'S BUSINESS what you do with your life. Period, end of story! You owe your co-workers NO explanation!!! You don't have to justify why you are going to be off. When I had my surgery, I planned on telling none of my co-workers. Unfortunately I accidently cc: the other supervisor in my department, so she ended up finding out, which has turned out to be a blessing. She has been surprisingly very encouraging. The rest of my department do not know.

The day before surgery when I left, I sent an email out to explain I was going to be out for a few days for personal reasons. I only sent the email because I am a supervisor and felt it would be responsible to at least notify them I would be absent (although they could see it for themselves on the calendar).

This is your business, no one else's!! I work with a bunch of nosey, catty women too and I do not feed into that mentality. Let them speculate all they want...hell they're going to do it anyways! I'm about six weeks post surgery and the rumors are already starting and to be honest, it amuses me. One girl straight up asked the other supervisor if I had gastric bypass b/c of my weight loss so far. I had lost 50 lbs prior to the surgery too...so it's funny to hear all the scenarios they are tossing around.

Don't let co-workers attitudes/speculation/nosiness at all affect this wonderful thing you are doing with your life! This is a gift and you should Celebrate the journey you are about to begin.

i haven't decided yet whether i'm going to tell people. i have told 2 family members and 2 friends. my family doesn't understand but my friends are supportive. i get the same question "why don't you just eat less?" if it were that easy i wouldn't be in this boat! i do plan on telling my boss that i'm having surgery and need some time off but that's as far as i'm going.

LOL.....just say, "Thank you, I am eating less" (but more importantly) OR..."I'm eating healthier choices" That is no lie!!! The band, the ultimate tool, is only a thing...your brain and you are making the choice...

When someone says...great hairdo...do we say, "Well, my shampoo is blah..blah...my chi hot Iron....my finishing spray....my blah...Get the point...How you are accomplishing weight loss is your GIG...Band or Not

I hope this does not sound confrontational...I am not meaning that way...I guess what I am trying to say is....

TAKE THE CREDIT!! AND SAY THANKS

Tell them you have a hiatus hernia,,, and that covers the liquid and other phases of the program.

I have an example of each for you. My sister told no one. I mean only her close 5 people knew she had it done. 3 years and 75 pounds later - I am the only family member who knows. When she showed up much lighter and family asked about it and how she did it (we are all chubby and everyone wanted in on her success) she just said she as watching her portion sizes - she was completely truthful.

I however am a terrible liar, so I have hid it from almost no one. Even my friends in Junior League know. The support has been amazing. All of my co-workers and friends have been curious and supportive. Co-workers even tried to not heat up foods at work during my one week at work on liquids. I am blessed. Like my sister, I am not telling my stepmom and step sister - they are judgmental and would discount the work of the weight loss. No need dragging that into my happy little life. I live in a different town, so it will be easy not telling them.

That said, with Soups and juices, I think it would be pretty easy to keep it your own business. In fact, because it is just cheaper eating like this, you could use saving money and eating healthier.

Good luck.

Edited March 18, 200818 yr by Texgirly

I've told only my DH, mom and one friend that I'm looking in to it. I have the seminar on Wednesday :biggrin: and my friend is watching my daughter for me. She's bringing her kids with her so they can play with my toddler and I told her if any one asks, just say I had a meeting to attend {her kids are 10 and 13 and will ask}. My mom had GBS about 4 years ago so I knew she'd be supportive. DH just isn't sure what to think, I'm sure {he's always supportive of me, I thinks he's worried}. Unfortunately he has to work {he's a fireman} so he can't go with me to the seminar.

My friend is also my co-worker, although I work at home and she's in the office. I'm not planning on telling my boss/pastor {we work for our church} just yet. If I go through with it and get approved, I'll tell him when I have a surgery date. I'll want his prayers! :thumbup:

I was on WW for awhile and lost a lot of weight {that I've since re-gained all but 10#s of } and got the constant questions as to how much I've lost, can I eat that, shouldn't you do this or that, etc. I DON'T want to go through that again so I don't plan on telling many people. If I do tell, it will be AFTER the surgery {I don't want THOSE opinions either!}.

Good friends are hard to beat...The seminar was a feeling of releif for me...like I think I had made up my mind by that time...I met another girl later and she said she had gone 5 times to seminars but thinks she can diet and not go through surgery...I remember thinking....well yea! we all can diet it is the regaining thing...I hope with the band that I will be able to as they say...tame the gaining.....

I even wonder if eating for me is really the hunger??? It will be interesting for me to see if I notice a difference...

For instance, at the seminar they talked about how your body start making more brain hormones when it thinks you are dieting so you don't starve...this kicks in about 4-8 weeks in...well, I've been working hard to loose my pre op required weight and was doing great...even had a family reunion where food and drinks were plentiful (4 days of it!) and I lost 2 pounds that week! now this week I am starving all the time...and my willpower...my ability to say no is like at ZERO...so, let's just say, I got off track a bit....1 pound....and it is hard as h*ll to get back on...

Hopefully, that is where the band will tame me?????

Good friends are hard to beat...

I'm hoping my friend stays supportive but I'm not really sure how she feels about it. I just told her I was looking into this and left it at that. A few days later she called and wanted me to look at Oprah's website for her trainer's new best life diet thing. She wants us to do this thing together. It costs monthly and she thinks it would be good for us to do together. Thing is, she doesn't have a lot to lose and she lost a bunch of weight on the low-carb thing, so we'll see how supportive she really is if I go through with this.

The seminar was a feeling of releif for me...like I think I had made up my mind by that time...

I told DH that if our insurance will pay for it, I'm pretty sure I'm doing it. I got teary when I told him how frutrated I am and how tired I am of all of it. I don't want to be the fat mom when my DD starts school. I hate meeting his co-workers b/c I feel like a fat cow and they're wondering what he sees in me, etc... I feel embarrassed for him. We like to travel and we want to do some day hikes [we live in the mtns] and it's just easier to do w/out this weight. I'm starting to feel it in my joints, my BP is high, my asthma is worse, etc. I'm just sick of it. I'm really hoping that insurance will pick up all of it. I can do small co-pays and I'll have to travel a couple of hours to the hospital but we can't afford more than that. :sad:

I met another girl later and she said she had gone 5 times to seminars but thinks she can diet and not go through surgery...I remember thinking....well yea! we all can diet it is the regaining thing...I hope with the band that I will be able to as they say...tame the gaining.....

That's my problem too. I can lose but then gain it back again. I'm HUNGRY all the time. Okay there are a couple of times I not hungry but it's few and far between.

heartfire,

Thanks for responding! Sounds like we have similar ideas...so, for your GFF...It can't hurt to look at the diet but I can understand not wanting to invest in it right now...Tell her you are saving for your Dr. bills but would love for her to share the ideas with you.....

I know what you mean about getting teared up! I was at a famly reunion a few weeks ago. I wasn't going to mention the surgery because I wasn't ready and I am waiting for insurance approval still....then I found out my Mom had spilled the Beans...so slowly I began to talk about it one on one with my cousins. I would get all choked up as I discussed it. I am sure they all thought I was scared or something of that nature...but really it was the shame, frustration, and the like...of carrying that around since childhood...I was always called the "healthy" cousin...even when I wasn't overweight and on the Pom Line....Like just because I wasn't Twiggy or something...anyway, once I got it out...I felt so much better..and so did some of the emotional baggage!!! This is so much of a journey...not just the immediate but all the YEARS of shall we say Tears!

But remember, we are...beautiful, loveable, wonderful...women and we deserve to be Healthy and Happy!

I am not planning on telling people either.....I live in a small town, and people are too nosey, and I don't want people commenting and talking about it. It is MY business.

Certainly. In fact I am hoping to keep my WLS a secret from some family members who are unsupportive and judgemental. I feel it is your business and your business alone. You should not have to feel olbligated to share any information you don't want to. Also for work it is completely none of their business and against the law to ask you about what type of surgery you are having. I am a teacher and I work in a team of all women and talk about catty and conniving. I have made the decision that I am not going to share my surgery with anyone.

To protect against this or set the stage I guess you can say. I have been working on my weightloss with eating healthy and being active for some time now but I made sure to just add the little whisper about me working out at the gym, meeting with my doctor and nutritionist to make healthy eating plans so that way when I get cornered aboout my WL and believe me it always happens. I can say "Thank you for noticing I have been working out really hard and are meeting with a nutritionist" Case closed....

Because the one thing I can't stand to hear is someone saying about someone who has had WLS "Oh you took the easy way huh" There is nothing easy about it. You have to work just that hard or harder to make sure you keep yourself healthy and balanced...

Chin Up

Take Care,

Jessica