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Why are YOU Fat?



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Oh...I know....according to my last doctor... I have been carrying the weight around so long...it will need medical intervention to come off...

according to another doctor...genes

according to my mother....I cheat on diets...or just don't try hard enough...

Yes ...I over eat....I have a problem with it all..portions,....I like to eat the wrong things....I just naturally make the wrong choices...

I love to eat....period...why../.because I like to feel the comfort that it has mislead me to think it does...for any reason...look at me wrong..and here I go I deserve that piece of cake...

darn it...

So the group therapy and having friends to have these same factors in common BUT who are in search of changing those so the outcome matches our new lifestyle is the reason we are all here.

I guess it is better to have loved that food and lost the weight......then to have never learned any better and remained the same!!!

:bandit

oh...and it doesn't hurt to every now and then see someone from school who was "skinny" back then and is now a huge big cow!!!:biggrin1::):heh:

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I've lost 60 pounds since being banded a year ago, and only had about ten pounds to go. I got into a bad habit of snacking after work, and realized that my pants were getting tight! Sure enough, I had GAINED over 10 pounds! So this is what I did. I bought six four-pound bags of sugar, and sat them next to the sofa where I watch tv. You wouldn't BELIEVE how heavy four-pound bags of sugar are! I would have to say that I'm about 90% better with my snacking now. Ten pounds just doesn't seem like a lot when you've been so overweight - I was absolutely horrified to realize how heavy they were!

Eileen

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bags of sugar...got it.....

will keep that one written down in the books for future usage...!!

Excellent job on the loss!

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I was 105# when I got pregnant with my son in January 1991, at 7 and a half months I was 115#, 6 weeks later I delivered him i was 197# I gained it so fast that I never lost it.

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I am fat because I am addicted to food. I was always the person that people said "There is no way that you can weigh that much... you never eat and exercise all them time." They were right, I did exercise a lot and never ate very much in front of them. Instead it was the 3 supersized meals from McDonalds that I would eat BEFORE going out with any one, the dozen doughnuts I would hide under the bed, the bag of Cookies under my car seat, the snickers bars in the bottom drawer of my dresser. If I was at a party, I would take food and hide it and go to the bathroom to eat it. (I know disgusting!) It started when I was very young (8 or 9) Just before going to bed, I would grab as much food out of the kitchen as possible and sneak it off to my room. I would eat whole boxes of little debbie Snacks before I went to bed. No one would miss them at home either because unless it was full of sugar and fat, it was not in our house. I don't think my mom believed in vegetables. Probably why she died at the age of 53 from a major heart attack weighing over 350 pounds. Since having my band, I have not snuck one piece of food, and if possible only eat in front of others. I just don't want to get in the habit of eating by myself and hiding food. It is amazing how fast the weight will come off (and how much money you save) when you aren't buying enough food for 3 people to eat!

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I would get skinny/sexy/beautiful and go shove it in those boys faces! :heh:

LOL That is a very good idea!! Once that happened, I would probably have to tell them who I was or they wouldn't recognize me!!

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I wasnt always over weight, when I was younger I was actually really athletic. I think gaining all the weight I did was more of a form of protection for me because of things I experienced in my life. My mother used heroin when I was younger and she was always so out of it she didnt notice the things that were going on around her. So her boyfriend molested me and my sister for about 7 years before they broke up. Then in high school I was almost raped in a taco bell bathroom by a guy I knew from school. I kicked him in the nuts and ran for it after he ripped my clothing. But it was all tramatic for me and I think I gained weight because I didnt want to be attractive to men. I have had alot of theropy so this is why i can come to these conclusions. I also have alot of sex issues (I dont like it). food became my love, support, and protection anyway I hope thats not TMI.

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I think that it's awesome Gummiebear that you can just say it. There is power in truth. In fact, your weight has probably served you well in some regards but it's turned on you and you are ready to let go of it now.

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Wow...this is a fabulous thread! I actually had to go over this question with my PCP when I went to her for a recommendation letter for my bariatric doc.

I think the main reason I'm fat is because I medicate myself with food. I am an extreme emotional eater. Unfortunately, this includes ANY emotion....like depression, sadness, happy, joyful, boredom, etc. It's not good when you Celebrate and console yourself with food.< /span>

I also think that I have some real issues about being afraid of not having enough food. For instance, if my pantry or my bank account gets below a certain point, I truly panic.

I believe this is because I lived through a time, after my parents divorced, when we were very poor. I remember that we would eat butter on crackers because we had nothing else. We also lived off of Vienna Sausages & tuna (which was waaayyy less expensive then). It was always a real celebration when my mom would get paid and we could have something different to eat.

*sigh* Kind of sad, isn't it? I know I'm not the only one who has this experience or problem. I also have no clue how to deal with it or fix it. Any suggestions?

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I have a general suggestion. Keep a diary and try your best to answer the following questions each day. After several weeks, it will become apparent they you need to take action to change things.

What have I learned about myself?<O:p</O:p

What have I done differently?<O:p</O:p

What knowledge or tools did I use to change my behaviour?<O:p</O:p

What was the outcome of my changed behaviour?<O:p</O:p

What did I do that was fun, relaxing and pleasant?<O:p</O:p

What physical activities did I participate in?<O:p</O:p

What thoughts have I had that enhance or hinder my well-being?<O:p</O:p

What feelings have I experienced and how did I express them?<O:p</O:p

What progress have I experienced in my overall well-being?

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Good suggestion :)

I think I just might try that. I am not banded yet, but I know I will still have to deal with all of my issues afterwards. I know that it won't just go away...the head hunger.

Thanks

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Like many others, I love food! I like everything. As a child I was given food as a reward and carried that into adulthood. I always felt it wasn't fair that others could eat all the foods I wanted and not have the same weight problems, so I just ate what I wanted and didn't address the problem except occassionally. I take full responsibility for not addressing my weight earlier in my life.

But, I also had a verbally abusive father who destroyed my self esteem, making it so so easy to defeat myself controlling my weight. Add that to a very slow metabolism and I've been defeating myself for many many years.

The "bounce back" weight gains were always more than I lost, making me heavier and heavier.

At age 64, I have finally realized that I can do it and that I must do it. I am learning that the treadmill is my friend, not something to be loathed. I am also learning that I can get along very well with much smaller portions. I've lost 26 lbs. pre-surgery while eating out and having most of the foods I love...just in moderation and smaller quantities.

My surgery date is 1/17/2008 and I am maintaining/still losing on my pre-surgery diet. I'm headed to a healthier me, albeit somewhat late in life. If this old lady can do it, anybody can!

BobbiG

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Why am I fat?

Because I have a love/hate relationship with food. I hate to love it and love to hate it. I love all food, healthy food, unhealthy food, bad food, good food, low-fat food, high-fat food. I love it all and deep down I have this fear that if I don't eat it all NOW, it won't be there when I come back and want/need some more. I could eat tiny portions (before being banded) to the point where people wondered why I was eating so little and what was 'wrong' with me, to portions so huge I absolutely ache and feel physically ill from eating so much.

If it was possible to just take a pill and never have to eat again, I'd do it. After all, alcoholics aren't forced to have a drink 3x a day to stay alive!

Addiction, compulsion, whatever you want to call it, I've got it. I'm hoping the band (and my next <2nd> fill) will help me find my "sweet spot". Every day is a challenge and a struggle which I will have for the rest of my life.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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