Hello all,

As you may know, I am the mom of three little girls ages 3,2 and 2...I am a stay at home mom. Lately, I've been a horrible parent. Yelling at my sweet girls and totally devoid of any patience.

My coping mechanism has always been food...and then, for a while...it was spending money...Well, food is a no-no...and spending money didn't turn out to be such a great idea....

But I see the parent I am right now and I don't like it. We were going to the Y every day and I was exercising and able to read a book while on the bike..and that was working very well..but now the girls are sick and I haven't gone in a week. I feel resentment towards them (how pathetic is that) because yet another coping mechanism has been taken away.

Also, while going to the Y has been great, I can't just do it during the heat of the moment...like I could with food.

I just really feel like I am failing everything...because sometimes I do still turn to food...although now it is 14 raisins instead of a bowl of chips and salsa...

Help me, please!

Rain

Rain

My DD is 6.

It's a chore at times but the best job in the world really!

What you might want to do is take a "time out" for yourself after you yell/threaten/say something mean. My daughter gets put in a big chair with no TV and no toys. I go and put myself in the same chair and tell her that Momma needs a time out. It's not only a way to apologize, it also teaches there are consiquences and most importantly you tell them you need to be left alone for five minutes (or whatever is your standard...Zoe gets a minute for every year of life. Ahhhh what I'd give for 39 minutes!)

It won't keep you from exploding but it might give you a guilt free way to deal with the aftermath.

That, is a really, really good idea. I am going to have to remember that!

I remember the days! My son was 10 months old when my twin daughters were born and I was a sahm with them in a new city. I agree with the saying about short years and looong days!

One thing that helped me (it may sound a bit psycho) was to pretend that someone was watching me and giving me encouragement or silent approval when I was alone with my babies. None of them could talk at first, they were more like triplets, and I knew that I was their only way to learn to speak; so having the thought of my dear departed father in law sitting in the corner smiling helped a lot. On other days I was showing Dr Spock a thing or two. Think of it as an attitude shift toward having more fun with them and enjoying where they are as little people.

Hang in there!

PS Don't go to the grocery store when they are tired and hungry...