I was banded a couple of weeks ago and I have been shocked by how many people, intelligent people who I consider my friends, have said to me something to the affect of, "You're going to be so pretty after you lose all that weight."

Like, you are ass ugly now with all that fat hanging off you, but once that's gone you will look good.

Anybody else come across this compliment? Do you feel the same as me, or do you take it as a true compliment?

I try to take it as a compliment as I know it is intended, but I cannot help but feel like it is such an insult.

He walks in, sits down then looks over at me and said "I didn't recognize you. Jeez, now I feel like the biggest slob in the room."

All I can say is, OH MY GOD!!!

May be a bit late in coming but I'd like to add an "Amen Sistah" to Wasa et al re there comments on it being difficult for us to accept any compliments regarding our looks no matter how sincerely intented.

That said I have to admit I was so PISSED at my father's wife the other night when I was speaking to her about some recognition I had been getting recently regarding my success with the lapband she had to comment that she & my father were so proud of me, as she had never thought I'd be able to stick to it. WTF!!! :biggrin: OMG was I furious!!! This woman never even met me until a few months before I had the surgery nearly 3 years ago and in all that time I've barely seen or spoke to her more than a dozen times so who did she think she was to come to that conclusion much less have the audacity to tell me like it was some kind of compliment that I'd surpassed her low expectations of me. Boy I wanted to bitch slap that b..but I bit my toungue for the sake of my father.

I know a LOT of beautiful, shapely women who because they are so mean, cruel, bitchy, hateful and snooty, truly become ugly to me. Their sour demeamor puckers up that face and makes them look like the ass end of a baboon.

I get comments like "The boys must be knocking down your door." THEY ARE NOT!!!! Nor were they before so I am perplexed????

I hate that comment... it's dumb. Boys don't really knock down anyone's door, for starters. I've found that if you want boys to be all over you, you have to give out a certain vibe. It really has little to do with weight or looks. But the problem is that the kind of boys who are all over you when you put out that vibe are the kind a sensible person wouldn't want!

Sometimes our society gives out a message that being thin solves all of life's problems. Well boy-girl problems are more complex than that! Yes, it will be easier for people to see the "real" you if you aren't overweight, but that won't solve every problem.

I also got "you're going to look great in a bikini" when I last lost lots of weight. Um, no. I knew I'd have batwing arms and a poochy tummy, stretch marks and also a surgery scar right down my middle. It made me feel bad when they said that at first, but eventually I just translated it into "you'll be so happy when you lose the weight" since I figured that's what they really meant. :woot:

My favorite so far is when a co-worker said, "You need to slow down on your weight loss..." I was thinking, "Hmm...am I getting too thin?" And this was followed by, "Cause if you keep losing weight, your head will be bigger than your whole body...." Grr!!!

This is the one that made my jaw drop. Had a manicure appointment, new place had never been there before. Sat down to get my nails done and the first thing the lil lady says to me is...........SO YOU THINK EATING IS FUN HUH?? I was dumbfounded, what do u say to that? So of course i just smiled when inside i just wanted to die.

This is the one that made my jaw drop. Had a manicure appointment, new place had never been there before. Sat down to get my nails done and the first thing the lil lady says to me is...........SO YOU THINK EATING IS FUN HUH?? I was dumbfounded, what do u say to that? So of course i just smiled when inside i just wanted to die.

:ohmy:OMG!!!! I cannot believe that...

Whenever I heard the "you have such a pretty face" line, I always want to come back with: "and you have such a nice body, its a pity about your face."

Lillyanya,

That cracked me up!

Blessings, Weazer.

Great Posts Everyone!!

As one who was always fat as a child but lost it all at 20 and gained it all back and lost it again and gained all back I've been on both sides of the fence. Won't mention my present condition but at a family reunion during one of my thin phases I actually had an older cousin come up to me who hadn't seen me in a while tell me as she saw I was thin at that time that my mother had told her on her death bed that she had said that her one wish was that I be thin!

Maybe it's just me but I would have rather she said "be happy" or "do well in life" or something that wasn't so superficial. brandyII:frown:

I absolutely HATE the "You have such a pretty face". I get so pissed when people say that.... I tell them! Then they say, "that's not what I mean...". I have heard that my whole life.