Ok, I guess I'm not alone in this, it seems like there are a bunch of us struggling through the holidays. My deal is, ok, I eat, pouch gets full, I start the burping and feeling like indigestion, which is my pouch saying 'enough is ENOUGH!' But I don't WANT to stop eating because it tastes good, is something I don't get to eat all the time and so then I feel like I'm really at war between my head and my body!!

Anyone else out there experiencing this as well? THIS is the hard part, I think!!

-Becky :help:

P.S. Getting stuff stuck over and over isn't helping because THEN I feel I haven't really 'enjoyed' my food and feel like I need another opportunity to do that. I think my head must be really messed up...

Beck,

yes, it is the hard part...i do a lot of things, to help me. I go brush my teeth, and use listerine (ick) . I bought a spray, at Walgreen, that you spray in your mouth, to stop sweet cravings....sorta works.....i go take a shower, I get out of the area where the food is!!! I drink a cup of hot sweet tea, or make myself a latte. ( the most helpful) sometimes i just keep eating!!! That is what i regret, when i am so uncomfortable, i almost barf!!!!! Your head is messed up, all of our heads are, it takes time, i am realizing and slowley it is getting much better!!! take good care, your not ever alone in this.

j

I find that after I get stuck, everything that I eat for the rest of the day gets stuck. I just go onto liquids for the rest of the day.

beckymein,

I do the same thing. At Christmas it was noodles. I could not stop until I got sick. Yesterday it was taco salad. I knew I was full, but took a few more bits and had to run out of the lunch room. If I do not measure my food or scrape half of it off of the plate right away I try to eat it all. Sometimes I even get mad because I can not eat more. What on earth is wrong with me? I keep hoping I will learn my lesson before I damage something.

JP

J: Thanks for the support, it helps just knowing I'm not alone in this!

Lovekatz: I am finding the same thing. This morning, my pills were getting stuck. I wish I could be like the people who welcome and Celebrate the feeling, but I can't help feeling panicked and pressured to make the pain go away. I'm also afraid of stretching/hurting my pouch and damaging myself. So far I haven't PB'd (well once when I ate a brownie and it just came right back up), so I'm just trying to 'work through this'.

JPayton: I know, like you, I would hope I would learn. Today now I'm almost afraid to eat because it seems like everything I had yesterday gave me a problem. I really have to slow down, take SMALL bites and chew like there's no tomorrow.

Knowing you all out there know how I feel and may even be experiencing it too makes me feel better.

We WILL get through this! I just thought getting my 2nd fill, I'd find that 'magic spot' and wouldn't feel hungry anymore...

I haven't vomited, or PB'd - but I've come to the discomfort/pain several times - over Christmas

Its like you are all saying, I KNOW its enough, so just damn well shut the mouth. It was so much easier two weeks ago, but now, I'm in that panic mode of , "I have to stop eating tomorrow", starting tomorrow I'll start the exercise, and get my act together.

I got a holiday for Christmas and seriously need to lose 30 lbs - and I should be going before March........doesn't give me a lot of time, and yet, the pre-op and post op did 20 lbs for me in 6 weeks, so it shouldn't be out of the question.

The thing is, I just feel weak and hopeless - again :help:

I am, tomorrow, beginning my proper regime again

I keep telling myself. "the surgery was on my stomach not my brain", so I still have the same problems that I did before. We need to remember that the surgery was the easy part. The hard part is what we do now. Good luck to all on "08"

Bekkie

It's been the same struggle for me especially throughout this holiday season. I hope to get back on track now with that behind me and the new year to start new.

I should start going to bed a 7 to get away from the evening snacking. I am not even remotely hungry but keep heading to the kitchen.

OMG...I totally relate to all of you. Some of the above posts sound like some of you are beating yourselves up for wanting to eat. I love the quote "we had surgery on our stomachs, not our brains." If we didn't love to eat...we wouldn't have our individual needs for the surgery. Food has been my #1 addiction. Truly, the root of all evils. I've been sober for 12.5 years and followed a very compulsive lifestyle for many years prior to sobriety. I never faced my love of food. When I got this surgery, I thought I was going to be able to enjoy my same lifestyle on much smaller scale. NOT!!!! I still want my loves and not have to deal with throwing up or esophagus pain. Once something comes up, nothing goes down for the rest of the day. The band is doing it's job. At times I feel like the choices I have to make are not fair. I get angry too because I grieve the loss of opportunity to enjoy what I love most. I wish my way worked but it doesn't. That's what I often tell myself when I really want to continue eating or when I watch my family eat seconds, eat fast or scoop things I know won't go down. I take a deep breath and sometimes even tell myself to get over myself too. I truly know how each of you feel. A couple of things that work for me to prevent throwing up...DON'T GET HUNGRY. I eat every couple of hours. Also, drink something hot half hour prior to eating...not cold. this relaxes the muscles and helps digest the food better. I have not thrown up in 2 days...GOD BLESS AMERICA. I was getting to the point of dreading eating because there has been so much difficulty. My one true gratifier has been stripped of me...not anymore. I am still on the learning curve and making progress.

Becky, I have similar problems and the only solution I have found is to take smaller bites and eat more and more slowly. Try to keep the food in your mouth as long as you can to savour the taste. Wait between each bite until all the taste has gone from your mouth, before taking the next one. I have promised myself to put less food in my bowl too, because I have found that if it is in there, I will eat it, even when I KNOW I'm not hungry any more, even when I KNOW I am full and that eating those last few bites will HURT. If it is in there, I just can't stop myself because I can't resist the taste.

Try to keep the food in your mouth as long as you can to savour the taste.

Fanny,

Great advice and that's what I've been trying to do. Here's the thing about keeping it in my mouth longer - does it kind of gross you out when you have all this mushy food in your mouth and you're still chewing, chewing, chewing to make sure no big lumps go down? Sometimes when I am eating (the way I SHOULD be eating), I think 'this is really gross'...

BUT then I have to remind myself that nothing tastes as good as thin feels. I'm even beginning to become friends with the stomach grumbles. I wonder if that means I'm starting to love myself a little more...? :love:

-Becky

I don't seem to mind that part - just as long as I get the flavour for longer As a kid when travelling long distance in the car, my parents used to play "Who can keep the lolly in their mouth the longest?" game with us (hehe - to stretch out giving out the sweets, the sneaky things!), and I just think of that game and it is kinda fun. I try to play it against myself, seeing which mouthful I can make last the longest. However, I've been wondering just what the big deal is about the "mushie" stage, when even after graduating from that, I chew everything to a fine mush anyway.

I practise mindfulness when eating and my surgeon had also suggested I try this when I had my first appointment and was something I had already started doing as part of mindfulness meditations. We get into the habit of making eating secondary to whatever else we are doing - driving, watching tv, reading, talking etc and then find that we have finished our meal without even tasting anything.

A classic mindfulness exercise is the raisin/sultana exercise. Put a few raisins/sultanas on a saucer. Take notice of the plate - colour, size, shape, how heavy it is etc. Then look at the raisins - what do they look like, how many are there, how are they positioned, how big are they, how are they similar/different to eachother. Pick one up - how light is it, what is the texture, what does it feel like in your hand, squeeze it gently- what does this feel similar or different to. Put one in your mouth. Don't chew just yet. Let it sit in your mouth for a few seconds, notice where it is placed on your tongue, how heavy it feels, what is your mouth doing? Take a bite - where on your tongue can you taste the raisin? What does it taste like? Is it sweet, sour, bitter etc? Continue chewing slowly, with each bite noticing the different tastes and where you experience them in your mouth. How does it feel as you swallow your bite of raisin? when you have finished eating one, compare that experience to previous experiences of eating a raisin - how was it different?

I practise mindful eating whenever I can.... because it takes me so long to eat something I really savour the sensation and notice my full feeling without having eaten as much as I previously would have. There is more info on the net about mindfulness and mindful eating.

Fanny, I LOVE that, who can keep the lolly in their mouth the longest! Ok, I think you and I should have a competition to see how many times we can chew the same food.

And I agree with you about the mushies. By the time I'm finally through chewing, it's more liquid than anything else.

mss: I really like your idea of mindful eating. I think that is a great strategy for me. I also play a game with myself lately playing with my food, taking tiny, tiny bites and challenging myself to eat less and slower than anyone else. If there is no one else, I just try to make it lasttttttttttt!!

Good tips, thanks!

-Becky :hungry:

Hehehe - it was a fun game, competing against my two older brothers, and we didn't seem to cotton on to the purpose for years. Even when we did, the game was such a habit, that I still feel a little weird/guilty if I crunch up a lolly and eat it quickly. It's amazing how long you can make something like hard rock candy or boiled sweets last.