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Doubts about plastic surgery



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I went to see a plastic surgeon about getting an arm lift and I am feeling so conflicted.

On the one hand, I am so unhappy about my upper arms and armpits and I never wear anything without sleeves (anything I wear is at least t-shirt length). I feel very self conscious about that area.. It just makes me sad. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am right now and I still can’t wear what I want, and fashion is one of my main hobbies and ways of expressing myself.

On the other hand, I am scared. It’s a huge operation, you end up with two big wounds that you need help with for weeks and I am struggling with the idea that it’s elective surgery.

My husband also is not really on board because he thinks I’m perfect the way I am, and he’s scared it’ll snowball into me wanting to get procedure after procedure because according to him I’m never happy with how I look. Next to that he hates seeing me in pain and he’s also not very keen on the idea because it’ll add to his load temporarily but he realises that’s a selfish reason..

I feel so conflicted. I have done a lot of soul searching and have already made peace with my nonexistent breasts, my jiggly thighs and butt, and my tummy doesn’t bother me anymore either. It’s because I can hide those things in whatever outfit I wear, except when I go for shorts.. But I never liked to wear those a lot anyway.

I am just so sick of still covering up and hiding, but I wish it wasn’t such a radical procedure.. I feel very selfish for inconveniencing others so much for something that is elective.

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions, any advice you have or if you’ve been in the same situation!

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I genuinely think that you sometimes just have to be selfish and do what you need to do for yourself. This is still your weight loss journey, and you know what is right for you.

Sounds like you do have support around you (even with the reservations), and you are a strong person!

As it seems like you already have, just make sure you are informed with your decision, look at the pros and cons - maybe write out a physical list so you can visualise it?

Either way, I really wish you the best of luck ❤️

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I've had a lower body lift, breast lift, arm lift, torsoplasty, face lift, and neck lift. It's expensive and some of the recovery was painful (esp the lower body lift), but I'm still glad I did it. It's been several years, but I don't remember the arm lift as being particularly painful (well, at least not compared to the lower body lift!), but I do remember it being pretty inconvenient not being able to reach for things for while I was healing. Also, scarring tends to be worse on arm lifts than on other procedures, I think because the skin is thinner there than in some other areas and there's a lot of tension there because we use our arms so much, and they move in so many directions. I do have visible scars there, whereas I can't even see my scars anymore on my breast lift (you can on my Lower body lift, but it's below my underwear line). However, I'd have to hold my arms up in the air for anyone else to see them, like if I was doing that "YMCA" dance, and how often do I do that? Not often. So it's not a huge issue.

anyway, yes, I do understand your feelings. For me it was more the money issue that bothered me. Plastic surgery is really expensive. But I now have a normal-looking body, which I didn't before, so there's that..

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i had an arm lift (and breast lift, and tummy tuck...all in one shot in Dec 2019).

i always disliked my upper arms. when i was thin (and thought i was fat) i was self conscious of what i thought was the size of them and rarely wore sleeveless tops. then when i actually got fat i NEVER wore them. if i had to go to an event the warranted (an arm-baring) dress, i always wore a shawl.

fast forward to the weight loss and i was left with some saggy jiggly upper arms. while they looked okay when my arms were at my sides, i really did not like the look of them flapping in the wind when i raised them, lol. and i raise them alot, ha...i'm one of those raise-your-arms-in-the-air-and-wave-them-like-you-just-don't-care kinda gals, lolololzzz.

so i had them done about a year post op (6-ish months after i reached goal). LOVE EM. while i did wear sleeveless again after the weight loss, i feel a lot less self-conscious about them after the arm lift. and really, it makes all the difference :).. now i do have very prominent scars on my arms (i scar very badly, and knew this going in), but for some reason the scars dont bother me as much as the flapping did. Go figure.

recovery is no joke though, i'll be honest. had i not done too much too soon, i would probably have been good to go by 6 weeks...but i didn't, so my recovery was more like 3+ months.

that was over 5 years ago now, and i've been wearing tank tops and other sleeveless tops all year round since, hahaha.

it really all boils down to what YOU are comfortable with...i was told by countless of people that i didn't need to/shouldn't get it done. but i got it anyway, because the only person who can say i need it is ME. if you have the means and the desire, the option is yours.

Good luck! ❤️

some pics:

1st link: 6 months BEFORE the arm lift

2nd link: Day before VS 3 weeks after arm lift

3rd link: 6 months AFTER the arm lift

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...further to above, figured i'd add a more current pic.

this one was taken just now (4 yrs, 3 months AFTER the arm lift).

you can see i'm not as defined as i used to be (i don't do as much strength training as i used to), but i'm still not flappy.

in this position, you can see the end of my scar near the elbow, and a sliver of a much darker/redder scar at my armpit. like i mentioned, i historically scar terribly, so my results are worse than normal, scar-wise. alot of folks here have virtually invisible ones at the same point as me.

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Hi, @Summermoose. I am having the same issues as you. My arms are awful and the wobble goes on after my elbow. I am happy with them until holidays come around and then I wish they were done. My dilemma is - is it worth the pain, cost and trouble for 11 each months a year ? My scars are always hypertrophic, so they would look worse than most. I am a member of a few Facebook Brachioplasty groups and TBH it does put me off.

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I believe we should get the the bodies we want, and that doesn't necessarily stop at weight loss surgery. It's wonderful your husband thinks you're perfect, but he's not living in your body. And, yeah, you may want more procedures, but why not? If you can get a body you're comfortable in through plastics, why is that a bad thing?
I've had two sets of plastic surgery (but not an arm lift). Recovery sucks in the short term. But what's a few week vs. being happy with your arms forever?
Additionally, there is a study that shows that those who get plastics after WLS are more apt to keep the weight off. Anecdotally, the group of women I am in touch with on here who have had plastics, and all 5+ years out, and all have had no significant weight gain, outside the normal bounce.

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As @sillykitty said, PS is just one more motivator to keep on track. I paid way too much, and went through so much with recovery from my plastics to ruin it with gaining. And I truly felt like it was my reward to myself for all the hard work I went through to lose all the weight.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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