"Incentive shopping" and body dysmorphia

[Sigh 194]

I’m incentive shopping in my own closet— I have clothes in all the sizes down, and a beautiful wardrobe of really nice, new with tags items that I bought just before covid— that I never got to wear. I’m going to resist shopping anywhere but thrift/consignment until I can stabilize. I will only buy new undergarments, shoes and swimwear. Also, brief reminder— the clothes on the way down may fit differently than they did before, so may not be especially flattering (particularly pants), so I’m trying to remember that from previous yo-yo-ing.

[NP_WIP 274]

I love the idea! I have clothes in my closet up to 3 sizes down in jeans and 4 sizes down in tops. Its only been 3.5 months and I'm almost at the smallest size in tops ( I think I should be able to wear them comfortably in a month or so) but in the jeans I was an 18 and barely fit on the 14 and the 16 is loose.

Your clothes will fit differently even if they are the same size you were before. I will wait at least a month after surgery to buy something to incentivize you especially if you have clothes that will fit in the meantime. I do shop here and there (cheap clothes) because I believe I do better when I wear clothes that fit me better and project some confidence. I have bought stuff in a smaller size with the idea of fitting by month 6, but somehow they fit even if the weight on the scale hasn't shift much.

[SuziDavis 544]

21 hours ago, Jillian K8 said:

So I saw this TikTok where instead of recording your pre & post-surgery weight, you buy a pair of jeans that you hope to fit into (like a couple sizes down) every so often. This helps you see tangible results and hopefully mitigate some of the body dysmorphia, at least better than numbers on a scale can. My surgery is on Thursday so I went to Target to buy my "incentive jeans" for my first milestone. This is the#1 store where I've wanted to buy from - off the rack - because it's usually my style AND I've seen them be more inclusive with sizes in the past couple of years. I've seen sizes 18 & 20 on the rack in the normal trendy section so I was really excited to go get my "incentive jeans" (I'm between a size 22/24 and was going for size 18)... So as luck would have it, I go to Target today and they apparently went back to small sizes, large majority of the clothing was size 10 and under... I found ONE pair of size 18 that I didn't like that much that was hidden away in a corner and they were $70 and I just.... Sighhh. My mind couldn't let me 'go there' for $70. All I could think was that I'm wasting $70 because I literally cannot conceive of myself that 'small' anymore. I guess that's a good argument to buy the jeans but all it did was plant fear and doubt in my head. So no real reason for posting this other than to kvetch about Target being jerks and to acknowledge where my mind is at pre-surgery. I don't think it'll ever stop shocking me how much this world hates fat people. Even corporations will risk profits just so they don't have to put plus size clothing on the rack! Bonkers.

Target has the worst plus size department ever. Unless you like ruffles on everything and low rise skinny jeans. 🤮

I would hit Torrid and get something from clearance. They usually have sales too, so you can pay $20-$50 for really nice jeans rather than what target has.

I have been buying smaller sizes when they are on sale and it's felt really good every time I fit into them. I went through all my old jeans at home and now just fit into my newest incentive jeans... I never thought I would get back there either.

[Jillian K8 14]

6 hours ago, NP_WIP said:

I love the idea! I have clothes in my closet up to 3 sizes down in jeans and 4 sizes down in tops. Its only been 3.5 months and I'm almost at the smallest size in tops ( I think I should be able to wear them comfortably in a month or so) but in the jeans I was an 18 and barely fit on the 14 and the 16 is loose.

Your clothes will fit differently even if they are the same size you were before. I will wait at least a month after surgery to buy something to incentivize you especially if you have clothes that will fit in the meantime. I do shop here and there (cheap clothes) because I believe I do better when I wear clothes that fit me better and project some confidence. I have bought stuff in a smaller size with the idea of fitting by month 6, but somehow they fit even if the weight on the scale hasn't shift much.

This is really helpful feedback, thanks! I'm definitely going to revisit after surgery. I unfortunately donated TEN bags of clothes in 2020 where I held onto my older sizes in hopes that one day I'd fit into them. 🤦 So I have to do the shopping when I drop sizes but I want to wear something that I WANT TO WEAR that I COULDN'T before. Something fun and trendy. I'll happily purchase new clothes every so often because it'll be a reward for going through all this crap. Haha. All the money I used to spend on food, I'll just spend on clothes instead! 😂 J/k but I think do think it's a good problem to have and it's definitely a privilege that I acknowledge. I'm just so sad for the plus size folks that will have to continue to put up with the fashion gatekeeping.