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HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE QUESTIONS



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What do you do when people your not close with ask how you lost weight? I have told all my close family and friends my plans for bariatric surgery but its not something I could see myself advertising to others. For example I work with a lot of men. I feel like it will be awkward if they ask how I'm loosing the weight.

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I decided quite early on just to be completely honest if asked directly. It’s made everything a lot easier really, no need to remember who I told what etc.
To be honest, not a lot of people have had the guts to really ask! I can often see people itching to ask but never offer up the information just like that. I kinda enjoy watching them squirm like that 🤣
Telling people about it has never really felt awkward to me. I don’t feel ashamed of having had WLS and I’ve gained a lot of self confidence since 💕

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I just tell people I'm eating really healthy and moving my body more. All of which is true. But for a multitude of personal reasons, I've chosen to share my surgery story with those absolutely closest to me. There have been an instance or two that I've chosen to share with someone that I had previously though I wouldn't, so to some extent I take it case by case. But by and large I don't share. Its a VERY personal choice and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

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What do you do when people your not close with ask how you lost weight? I have told all my close family and friends my plans for bariatric surgery but its not something I could see myself advertising to others. For example I work with a lot of men. I feel like it will be awkward if they ask how I'm loosing the weight.

It depends on who does the asking. If the person is overweight and asking a genuine question then they get the truth. Others are just plain nosy and would not be very complimentary when they added it to their daily gossip. I didn't tell anyone but my husband and son at first. Then added my bff from school and they were happy for me. My other family, I have waited until I visited or bumped into them. Same again, I have told some, others meh, they don't need to know. It has worked for me.

Sent from my Lenovo TB-J606F using BariatricPal mobile app

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I have just said to those that have mentioned my weight loss that I have a nutritionist, I'm exercising 5x a week, I'm eating high protein/low carb and I'm eating small portions and not drinking, all of which are true. So really you can say you adopted a healthy lifestyle which you did.

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If someone asks I will tell them because maybe they are looking for answers for their problem too or someone they love. I had 2 people tell me that they had a gastric bypass 10 years before. l had always known them thin so I was surprised to learn that they had had a bypass, but also encouraged by that too. I mean they have both kept they weight of for 10 years!! These two ladies are the reason I got started on the path of weight loss. So if some one asks me I will tell them truthfully.

Edited by MountainClover

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01/30/2023 06:44 PM, kla7403 said:



What do you do when people your not close with ask how you lost weight? I have told all my close family and friends my plans for bariatric surgery but its not something I could see myself advertising to others. For example I work with a lot of men. I feel like it will be awkward if they ask how I'm loosing the weight.


I’ve only told limited people. For two others who acted almost as if entitled to be hear about my weight loss my go to is “ I’ve spent my entire life talking about my weight and I’d prefer not to waste another moment discussing it.” 

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I told some people & not others too. Those I hadn’t told about the surgery, I’d say I was seeing a dietician, changing what I was eating, had done lots of reading & had the support of my doctor. All true. If they wanted to know what diet I was following I’d say, again truthfully, not a diet, but a way of eating that worked for me.

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I'm the same as a couple of the others - close friends and family knew, as well as others who were obese and asking a genuine question. For most others, I told them I was working with a dietitian and exercising like a fiend. People without a history of weight problems usually believe that schlock and are satisfied with that answer.

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19 hours ago, kla7403 said:

What do you do when people your not close with ask how you lost weight?

The easiest way is to tell the truth. People have their curiosity satisfied and continue to mind their own business, especially the men.

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"high Protein, calorie deficit & I workout 4x a week" because it's still true!

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I have only told my family and close friends about my surgery, and if anyone explicitly asks if I did I tell them. For general diet questions I say prioritizing Protein, avoiding added sugar, and small frequent meals. When I went out for dinner with a large group I told them I was avoiding gluten for digestive reasons. I’m still in the soft food stage so all of these things are true without sharing I’ve had surgery.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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