(Sorry for all the questions.. as my possible surgery date comes up my mind keeps thinking of new and interesting worries)

Married people post surgery:

what changes to your relationship did you experience ?

how did your spouse adapt to change to that comes with weight loss or well, did he/she not adapt?

I know that my husband will be there 100% right before and immediately after surgery. Unfortunately, a week or two out I don’t know how he will be (he will be “done” with it and wanting to “go back to normal” which won’t be possible.) and I really don’t know how he will cope when hopefully my confidence continues to grow and my self esteem continues to grow after surgery.

wanted to hear some good, bad and ugly from people who have been there with marriages through this surgical process.

I have been with my man since I was 12. Over our 47 year marriage we have had our share of caring for each other whilst ill. I had a really bad time after this surgery with nausea and vomiting and it has taken a long time to master it with medication. He has seen me vomit for days and has been very worried. I was so weak and he had to take care of me for so long. If it had not been for Covid he would have been able to join me in all my consultations and ask his own questions and air his worries. He would have heard the positive answers and heard any input the nurse and dietician have given me. I am convinced he would have been more reassured had this been so.

He always said he didn't care what I weighed and he didn't. For the first time in my marriage he has started to compliment me, I like it.

I will be happier when we can eat the same meals again, I am only just eating protein and a tiny amount of vegetables and do not have any room for carbs. This limits the food that we can eat as a family. Now I have endless energy he can rest while I do the household chores once again. He has health issues and needs all the rest time he can get. I am so pleased that I can do this for him.

6 minutes ago, summerseeker said:

I have been with my man since I was 12. Over our 47 year marriage we have had our share of caring for each other whilst ill. I had a really bad time after this surgery with nausea and vomiting and it has taken a long time to master it with medication. He has seen me vomit for days and has been very worried. I was so weak and he had to take care of me for so long. If it had not been for Covid he would have been able to join me in all my consultations and ask his own questions and air his worries. He would have heard the positive answers and heard any input the nurse and dietician have given me. I am convinced he would have been more reassured had this been so.

He always said he didn't care what I weighed and he didn't. For the first time in my marriage he has started to compliment me, I like it.

I will be happier when we can eat the same meals again, I am only just eating Protein and a tiny amount of vegetables and do not have any room for carbs. This limits the food that we can eat as a family. Now I have endless energy he can rest while I do the household chores once again. He has health issues and needs all the rest time he can get. I am so pleased that I can do this for him.

Wow! That's amazing. 47 years! GOOD FOR YOU BOTH!

My marriage is the same pre op and post op. My hubby has always been supportive of me and never said anything to me about my weight. He was not all in for the surgery and still doesnt care for it. But he has seen the impact physically and mentally for me. I still struggle at times and shame myself. He would never do that to me though. He is a good guy and does his best to build me up. Its my own struggles that I battle with.....I still see myself at my highest weight even tho I can see in the mirror how much my face has slimmed down and I notice the weight loss because of the way my clothes are so loose on me and the inches I am losing from my body......but to get passed the morbidly obese person I still see in the mirror is more of a challenge for me than my marriage. In time I hope I can move passed what I see in the mirror versus what is actual.