Please tell me I haven't failed.

[(Deleted through replacement 25]

Back last March, I got ESG (endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty). I had 6 weeks of a liquids only diet. I painstakingly tracked calories after that according to what doctors said to do -- a 1200 calorie/day diet. Yeah, I'm a short woman, but it sucks. But I soldiered on! I put myself on my home scale week after week, watching the number bounce around but generally trend down. I was so happy. I started at 251 post-colonoscopy-cleanse (since they have to remove all of everything in your gut before doing the procedure), and finally, after a year, I got to 215. I was so glad! And then I stepped on an actually accurate scale at work today, apparently. 238.

Are you f**king joking?

I said it had to be my clothes and stuff, so I went into the bathroom (single occupancy, thankfully), and stripped. Hopped on. 235. Dammit.

Well, maybe it's not accurate. We have some weights around the office, I said. Let's put one on, I said. It claims to be 45 lbs. Scale says...45.2 lbs. Augh.

So my bathroom scale is either 15 pounds off, the very concept of which is destroying me, or I've gained a whole ton of Water weight for no reason. But I've taken tape measurements -- my waist is down 4 inches and my hips are down 5. I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts. My arms and stomach look more defined. That's got to be significant, right? ...Right?

If all this adds up, I have not lost 14% of my body weight. I have lost 6%. And that means I am a severe outlier and a failure at the procedure. This was the last ditch effort for me after more than a decade of trying everything I could figure. Most weight loss meds haven't worked for me. Saxenda worked for a while and then stopped.

Was the doctor's office scale wrong? It agreed with my bathroom scale at the time. Has my bathroom scale broken and I'm just fucked? Did I just gain a whole shitload of water weight? I don't have my period due to an IUD, so I can't imagine it's that.

Please give me something that isn't "you failed." Please. Please.

[Arabesque 5,674]

First thing to remember is you’ve lost weight & inches. Whoo hoo. Celebrate each one of those pounds & inches.

Secondly we all lose at our own rate. There is no one correct amount of weight you have to lose by a certain date. There can’t be as we’re not the same. My physiological make up & medical history is different to yours & everyone else's. There are just averages which should be only be used as a guide to what’s possible not what’s a certainty. Some people are just slow losers & some lose more quickly. Certainly the more you have to lose the faster you lose at first.

1200 calories seems to be quite a common goal for those who are given one & it’s not based on height but is generally considered a low calorie diet. As long as you’re following your plan you’re on the right path.

scales can be different. They are just machines. Even things like the floor they’re on can affect their accuracy. I weigh differently on my scales, my doctor’s scale & my surgeon’s scale. Some of that is what I’m wearing, time of day, whether I’ve pooped, eaten, etc. They keep their starting & progress records & I keep mine. I don’t compare what their scales say to what mine does. As long as the numbers were going down in their records I was happy (now as long as it’s stable I’m happy). Unless you weighed yourself on the work scales at the very beginning you can’t place value in what they say now - nothing to compare it to. You likely would have weighed heavier on them back then too.

So have you failed & f*cked up? No!

PS - Hate to tell you 5’5” is not short but is about average height. In fact in the US the average height for an adult woman is 5’4”.

[winkydinks 17]

Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Take a deep breath. In fact, take three. Working yourself into a frenzy isn't going to help anything.

Now let's evaluate.

It sounds like the scale at work is accurate based on your "test" of it. Try your scale at home again, and if it's wildly off, chuck it out. It's broken. So, with that being said, it sounds like you're 235 lbs. Now we have to figure out why that is so we can begin changing it.

First of all, as a 5'5 woman, 1200 calories is hardly a deficit in the long-term. It may be initially, but your body will adjust, and your metabolism will slow to compensate. Nowadays, it may even be a bit more than you need. My surgeon, who was a pioneer in bariatric surgery and has done thousands of procedures, said that most people only need 1000-1500 calories a day. There are obvious exceptions for athletes and whatnot, but generally speaking, that's the rule for both men and women.

Now, I know you don't want to hear me simply tell you to eat less. However, if you can find a couple hundred calories to cut out from your current diet, it definitely won't hurt. To me, it sounds like your body found a comfort zone with 1200 a day and whatever level of activity you have, and it stopped dropping weight as a result. Just to be sure though, are you POSITIVE you're only eating 1200 calories a day? There are hidden calories everywhere. Passing by the candy dish at work a couple times a day, oil in the pan, a glass of wine with dinner, cream and sugar in your coffee, etc, will all add up.

Now, as someone who just got himself out of a stall by doing this, here's going to be my biggest suggestion. You've heard it before, it isn't sexy, but it works.

Cut whatever amount of carbs you're eating by at least 50% and get rid of anything made with flour or sugar entirely. You're only supposed to be eating 1000-1200 calories a day, and you can't afford to spend them on starch. You may feel like crap for a week, but I guarantee you that you won't feel like crap when you see the number on the scale going down. Plus, it's also incredibly easy to end up eating far more calories than you intended when you're eating this stuff. It takes most people 3-4 bites to eat a 200 calorie serving of Pasta.

[summerseeker 1,459]

3 hours ago, winkydinks said:

Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Take a deep breath. In fact, take three. Working yourself into a frenzy isn't going to help anything.

Now let's evaluate.

It sounds like the scale at work is accurate based on your "test" of it. Try your scale at home again, and if it's wildly off, chuck it out. It's broken. So, with that being said, it sounds like you're 235 lbs. Now we have to figure out why that is so we can begin changing it.

First of all, as a 5'5 woman, 1200 calories is hardly a deficit in the long-term. It may be initially, but your body will adjust, and your metabolism will slow to compensate. Nowadays, it may even be a bit more than you need. My surgeon, who was a pioneer in bariatric surgery and has done thousands of procedures, said that most people only need 1000-1500 calories a day. There are obvious exceptions for athletes and whatnot, but generally speaking, that's the rule for both men and women.

Now, I know you don't want to hear me simply tell you to eat less. However, if you can find a couple hundred calories to cut out from your current diet, it definitely won't hurt. To me, it sounds like your body found a comfort zone with 1200 a day and whatever level of activity you have, and it stopped dropping weight as a result. Just to be sure though, are you POSITIVE you're only eating 1200 calories a day? There are hidden calories everywhere. Passing by the candy dish at work a couple times a day, oil in the pan, a glass of wine with dinner, cream and sugar in your coffee, etc, will all add up.

Now, as someone who just got himself out of a stall by doing this, here's going to be my biggest suggestion. You've heard it before, it isn't sexy, but it works.

Cut whatever amount of carbs you're eating by at least 50% and get rid of anything made with flour or sugar entirely. You're only supposed to be eating 1000-1200 calories a day, and you can't afford to spend them on starch. You may feel like crap for a week, but I guarantee you that you won't feel like crap when you see the number on the scale going down. Plus, it's also incredibly easy to end up eating far more calories than you intended when you're eating this stuff. It takes most people 3-4 bites to eat a 200 calorie serving of Pasta.

Whoa there @winkydinks. It would be wrong of any of us to make assumptions that this lady is overeating. This persons team has set these quotas and you have to work within the guide lines you have been given. You don't know if this person is or is not following the guidelines.

@Miratia Please use your teams scales as a good guide. They should have them recalibrated very regularly. My advice to you would be track your foods, ring your team and relax. 1200 calories seems a good amount to be eating at 1 year out, Many eat more than that and will chip in here later. Please don't panic.

[Tony B - NJ 634]

So, I hate to be a wet blanket here and I know everyone is trying to be supportive, but to get major weight loss surgery and after a year being only 22 pounds lighter seems to me to be a bit of a failure....I am just being brutally honest. Part of supporting people is to sometimes tell them the truth and try to get them to take action. If I were in the same situation, I would go back to a low calorie, high Protein, low fat, low/no carb diet and get exercising ASAP. The fact is, there has to be a calorie deficit and it we are gaining weight back, there is an issue with that deficit. Maybe we are not counting all our calories....maybe we are not counting at all......maybe we are doing ZERO exercise......maybe a lot of things but what we do know is that it is not working and we are gaining weight. It is time to reevaluate EVERYTHING and get back to what made weight come of in the first place.

[lizonaplane 1,599]

What does your bariatric surgery center say? Their nutritionist? If you haven't discussed your concerns with them, that's where you need to start.

Of course you're upset! But I'm a little confused about all this about the scales. Were you 215 one day at home and then 238 the next day at work? Or was there a gap in weighing?

5'5" is actually NOT short. And 1200 calories doesn't seem like a lot to me; I'm 5'3" and I eat about 1100-1500 calories a day at 8 months out. BUT YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR SURGERY CENTER!

If you are eating 1200 calories a day, what are those calories? Are they Protein, fruits, and veggies? Or is it Snacks and processed junk? Are you hungry eating 1200 calories a day? Are you exercising? Again, these are all things you need to discuss with actual medical professionals.

Hang in there!

[I♡BypassedMyPhatAss♡ 796]

I'm not very familiar with sleeve in general, but doesn't sleeve plications offer a lesser amount of weight loss than the standard sleeve surgery? Maybe because the standard sleeve surgery removes the part of the stomach that produces ghrelin, that gives them the added power of hormone regulation, so maybe that's why you've loss less weight? You didn't have any alteration in hunger hormone. Perhaps this is why you seem to have lost less weight than you were expecting?

Nonetheless I'd reach out to your team about what to do next.

Best wishes.

Edited May 12, 2022 by BypassingMyPhatAss♡

[Splenda 245]

14 hours ago, Miratia said:

Back last March, I got ESG (endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty). I had 6 weeks of a liquids only diet. I painstakingly tracked calories after that according to what doctors said to do -- a 1200 calorie/day diet. Yeah, I'm a short woman, but it sucks. But I soldiered on! I put myself on my home scale week after week, watching the number bounce around but generally trend down. I was so happy. I started at 251 post-colonoscopy-cleanse (since they have to remove all of everything in your gut before doing the procedure), and finally, after a year, I got to 215. I was so glad! And then I stepped on an actually accurate scale at work today, apparently. 238.

Are you f**king joking?

I said it had to be my clothes and stuff, so I went into the bathroom (single occupancy, thankfully), and stripped. Hopped on. 235. Dammit.

Well, maybe it's not accurate. We have some weights around the office, I said. Let's put one on, I said. It claims to be 45 lbs. scale says...45.2 lbs. Augh.

So my bathroom scale is either 15 pounds off, the very concept of which is destroying me, or I've gained a whole ton of Water weight for no reason. But I've taken tape measurements -- my waist is down 4 inches and my hips are down 5. I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts. My arms and stomach look more defined. That's got to be significant, right? ...Right?

If all this adds up, I have not lost 14% of my body weight. I have lost 6%. And that means I am a severe outlier and a failure at the procedure. This was the last ditch effort for me after more than a decade of trying everything I could figure. Most weight loss meds haven't worked for me. Saxenda worked for a while and then stopped.

Was the doctor's office scale wrong? It agreed with my bathroom scale at the time. Has my bathroom scale broken and I'm just fucked? Did I just gain a whole shitload of Water weight? I don't have my period due to an IUD, so I can't imagine it's that.

Please give me something that isn't "you failed." Please. Please.

This may sound like a weird question, but which scale did you use to determine your starting weight?

Here is what I mean: if the 251 mark is based on your home scale and your home scale is off by 15 pounds, doesn't that mean you started at 266 on the work scale?

[(Deleted through replacement 25]

2 hours ago, Tony B - NJ said:

So, I hate to be a wet blanket here and I know everyone is trying to be supportive, but to get major weight loss surgery and after a year being only 22 pounds lighter seems to me to be a bit of a failure....I am just being brutally honest. Part of supporting people is to sometimes tell them the truth and try to get them to take action. If I were in the same situation, I would go back to a low calorie, high Protein, low fat, low/no carb diet and get exercising ASAP. The fact is, there has to be a calorie deficit and it we are gaining weight back, there is an issue with that deficit. Maybe we are not counting all our calories....maybe we are not counting at all......maybe we are doing ZERO exercise......maybe a lot of things but what we do know is that it is not working and we are gaining weight. It is time to reevaluate EVERYTHING and get back to what made weight come of in the first place.

And now I just want to give up entirely. This is the opposite of helpful. I guess I'm really just bad at everything.

[(Deleted through replacement 25]

For all the "1200 calories isn't a deficit" -- holy cow, I can't go any lower. I already am too hungry if I don't make 1200. I enjoy food. I am distracted to the point of total non-productivity if I'm too hungry. It's miserable.

I don't eat processed stuff usually. I focus on Protein because carbs leave me too hungry.

My team has been virtual due to Covid so they just know my personal weigh ins.

I regret all of this. I shouldn't have looked at the scale at work. I was so happy. I thought I was pretty at last. I have a wedding in October and am going to look awful...

[lizonaplane 1,599]

3 minutes ago, Miratia said:

And now I just want to give up entirely. This is the opposite of helpful. I guess I'm really just bad at everything.

Don't worry about @Tony B - NJ. He just likes to be unhelpful and mean. Get back in touch with your surgery center and see what they say.

[lizonaplane 1,599]

1 minute ago, Miratia said:

For all the "1200 calories isn't a deficit" -- holy cow, I can't go any lower. I already am too hungry if I don't make 1200. I enjoy food. I am distracted to the point of total non-productivity if I'm too hungry. It's miserable.

I don't eat processed stuff usually. I focus on Protein because carbs leave me too hungry.

My team has been virtual due to Covid so they just know my personal weigh ins.

I regret all of this. I shouldn't have looked at the scale at work. I was so happy. I thought I was pretty at last. I have a wedding in October and am going to look awful...

If you weight 215 lbs, 1200 calories IS a deficit. You're doing what you can.

You can be pretty at any weight, and October is a LONG way off. Try to focus on how your clothes are fitting and not a number on the scale. Try not to panic, and if people here are being unhelpful, take a break.

Try to reach out to a bariatric therapist if your surgery center has one - I am seeing mine tomorrow virtually and it really helps. The actual weight isn't so important.

[(Deleted through replacement 25]

54 minutes ago, Splenda said:

This may sound like a weird question, but which scale did you use to determine your starting weight?

Here is what I mean: if the 251 mark is based on your home scale and your home scale is off by 15 pounds, doesn't that mean you started at 266 on the work scale?

251 is the post cleanse weight, meaning I had everything purged from my system to prep for surgery. My home scale agreed with that. Idk what my "has food/waste in system" weight was. My scale said 210 when I had food poisoning a week ago, so I guess the work scale would have said 220-225. So that's like, 32 lbs to be charitable, under the same conditions.

[(Deleted through replacement 25]

5 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

If you weight 215 lbs, 1200 calories IS a deficit. You're doing what you can.

You can be pretty at any weight, and October is a LONG way off. Try to focus on how your clothes are fitting and not a number on the scale. Try not to panic, and if people here are being unhelpful, take a break.

Try to reach out to a bariatric therapist if your surgery center has one - I am seeing mine tomorrow virtually and it really helps. The actual weight isn't so important.

I'll be straight up with you, I have never found a fat person pretty. I'm sorry. I've tried so hard. (Really -- I did my best to date fat folks a couple times because otherwise they were super cool, but my sex drive just cannot work with that. Fat is the opposite of hot to me. I feel bad for those folks having to deal with me. It was over a decade ago haha.)

Edited May 12, 2022 by Miratia

[lizonaplane 1,599]

1 minute ago, Miratia said:

I'll be straight up with you, I have never found a fat person pretty. I'm sorry. I've tried so hard. (Really -- I did my best to date fat folks a couple times because otherwise they were super cool, but my sex drive just cannot work with that. Fat is the opposite of hot to me. I feel bad for those folks. It was over a decade ago haha.)

That internalized fat-phobia is difficult to deal with. I struggle with it too.

But I'm really confused by your timeline. You had surgery in March 2021? And you've lost 36lb? So, how much weight did your surgery center expect you to lose in that time? I don't know about ESG, but with sleeve, I was told I would lose most of the weight in the first year, and that I could expect to lose about 60-70 lbs, give or take.

Were you weighing yourself every week/day at home?

I really think you need to reach out to your surgery center (virtually is fine!) and see if you are on target, and if not, if they have any recommendations. There are medications that you can take, and there might be a role for a nutritionist to see what food changes they might recommend. Maybe you're not eating enough? We are just guessing here. You need to talk to a professional.