Secret

[Arabesque 6,670]

I told some people but not others. When I took up a new work contract 4 weeks after surgery they just presumed it was a ‘female surgery’ which I never corrected cause they didn’t have to know.

You could say you’ve been having some digestive issues so they did an exploratory but found nothing untoward. You’re being very careful with your diet to see if that helps.

Whatever story you go with for those super inquisitive people (we all know those people) just be comfortable with it.

All the best with your surgery.

[Edge13 64]

This whole thread makes me kind of sad, and really appreciate the whole head shrink portion of the pre-op. I thought she was full of it when she talked about how people may act, but actually seeing it happen is a daily source of humor for me now. It wouldn't have been without her guidance; it might have been crushing.

My advice is talk about it with the psychiatrist; you're paying for it. Worrying about what to tell people is giving them power over you. Whatever you decide, good luck.👍🏽

[Esi 179]

It’s your call; you know what will be best for you! I didn’t tell anyone but my husband. It’s no one’s business. However, I also didn’t want the added pressure or judgment.

If I lost weight, people would think I took the easy way out. If I didn’t lose weight, people would think that I am so pathetic that even weight loss surgery didn’t work for me. I didn’t need all that!

[Flab-U-Less Forever 140]

I agree with the hernia repair. My immediate family knows (husband and kids) and a few select others. I told work that I was having digestive issues and needed a hernia repair...which I do so not a lie just an omission. I work from home and have for several years so I won't need to explain rapid weight loss. To everyone else I know, I just changed my eating habits and started exercising. Which will be true as well 😉

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

If you can not tell anyone....... GO THAT ROUTE!!!! I had the lapband in 2009 and everyone knew... of course, everyone also had an opinion on what they thought I SHOULD DO. I got the "lap band is the easy way out".... or "someone they knew, knew someone who died"... "it won't work".... blah blah blah. It did work and I lost 89lbs. So when it had to be removed....... again, I told everyone it was gone.
Here's where it changed..... from 2017-2019 I put back 30lbs of what i lost. I had divorced (26 years of marriage), moved states, changed jobs, got into a new relationship (married 2019). No one here knows I at one time had WLS..... So when I told them I was going on a diet for my upcoming wedding and I was working out.... No one gave it a second thought. So about 3 months before Sleeve I told everyone I developed a "hernia" and needed SX to fix it. Day of SX comes (Wednesday, back to work on Monday), and Dr goes in, does the sleeve and fixed an actual HH that I didn't know I had........ Slam dunk. So the first year of weight loss was explained this way. After losing weight for the wedding I just decided to keep going. No one ever asks further questions after............. I had HH SX. I'm now 50lbs lighter and so happy.

So tell no one and I guarantee you will be happier for it. But, remember if you tell even one person outside your home (even family)........ everyone will know. People love to gossip and when you start to lose, there will be that one jealous person that will say something.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 845]

I told nobody but my husband preop. I also didn’t tell anyone I was going to be in the hospital, getting a procedure, etc. I don’t owe anybody a minute by minute accounting of what I’m doing with my life. Work knew I was taking off two weeks, my family knew that I was out of town and out of contact for two weeks. When I was back to my normal life after two weeks nobody really cared. Not like anyone was staring at my bare stomach.

I feel like with social media and everything people have an over inflated sense of “deserving” to know every personal detail of everybody’s life. Not true- if you pay your own bills and take care of yourself, you don’t owe people an explanation of everything you do.

[Toomany#s 59]

When I had my lap band, I went alone to Mexico. My husband told his son and his friend (probably before I got off the first plane) which totally pissed me off. I am having a conversion to bypass next month. I’m telling people the hiatal hernia story as well. I would simply not say anything, but he would probably tell again. I told him if he does it to me again that he will be left without me and can live with his son and friend. I’m a private person and feel like it’s really not anyone else’s business. It’s truly difficult for me to trust him to be silent after the first time.

[AB2B 104]

So don’t tell them. I agree, if they don’t support and only throw shade then they don’t need to know. Excited for you.

[AB2B 104]

And you are not alone. You have us!

[Lefti 21]

Don't even mention having a procedure. Start talking now about switching to a Keto diet (Your future diet will match that story. Also mention going to the gym or starting some exercise program. That's what I did, and no one questions me.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 845]

Yeah, honestly many people are less observant than we give them credit for 😂. I told a few very select people after surgery, a few months out. Every one of them was shocked, and believed I’d just been losing weight because they saw me exercising a lot and being mindful of what I ate. Like…yeah, that’s me doing my part to make the surgery successful.

At this point I’m at a stable goal weight and lost a bit more than 175 lbs over the past few years. I’m still glad I limited who I told.

[Kia kaha 35]

Such an interesting thread. I’m pre op and obviously my husband knows, I have one daughter aged 26 who struggles with her weight and she is totally encouraging, and one daughter who has never struggled with her weight who is less than enthusiastic! I have lost both my parents in the last couple of years and, to be really honest, not having to tolerate their judgement is really freeing. Whilst I’m all about being honest, my weight and my health is my business so I’ think I’ll just let folk ‘go figure’ when the weight starts dropping off! I guess dealing with others is all part of the great journey of life

[Guest]

On 2/11/2022 at 12:53 AM, SunnycoastStef said:

I'm having a mini bypass in about a month. I haven't told anyone and i really don't want to. 7 yrs ago I had gastric balloon which didn't help much and it was thrown in my face a few times. So I don't want to tell anyone. But obviously I will be in hospital for two days. What procedure can I say I had instead?

I know we need support. But this one I'm going alone. My support will be you guys. Not my family.

I went from gastric band to RNY. Like you, my band didn't work. I've only told my wife. Told other people I had a problematic stomach ulcer that needed treatment and then hospital observation and I had to be very careful with what I ate for a couple weeks after. Everyone bought it.

Edit: my brother knew I had the band and I had to be more truthful with him for organizational reasons so I said I was going in to have the band removed. Which had the added benefit of being literally true.

Edited February 17, 2022 by Guest

[Jai D 14]

You are getting a new Vajay-Jay lol .. the only time I agree with lying is when ppl are too nosey and asking questions they don’t need to know