I have a 16 yr old daughter who is beautiful and very talented (biased I know). She is a kind child and other kids are often jealous of her. I have tried to deal with the situations off and on now, but I'm really sick and damn tired of it. It's unbelievable to me how backstabbing and downright mean kids can be.

Yesterday my daughter was in the lunchroom when this girl she doesn't even know very well insists that she called her a slut. Mind you my daughter is sitting there minding her own business with a table of football players and a few cheerleaders. The girl absolutely went nuts on her. She was up in her face and screaming and yelling like a wild woman. The table of football players started yelling "Flavo Flav" (not sure what that means) at this crazy girl and another table of boys started throwing food at her. Everyone was irate but yet the teacher did nothing. (maybe she didnt' hear not sure)

Anyway, when they were leaving the cafeteria some of the boys started getting worried and told Dani to report this because the girl is really unstable. Dani didn't want to but eventually broke down crying and was taken to the office where a report was completed.

Now I'm even more mad just thinking about the things that this girl will come up with. My daughter is a straight A student, never been in trouble in her life, but I'm sure this girl is going to say all kinds of things when she has to answer to the principal.

IF ANYONE HAS BEEN THROUGH THESE THINGS AND CAN OFFER ADVICE IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED AS I'M AT MY WITT'S END!!!

Becky

So sorry for what happened to your daughter. Thought that school's had no bullying policies and where the heck was the lunch moderator while all this was going on?

Flavor Flav is a reference to the reality show on VH-1 best analogy that I can come up with is the ghetto version of "The Bachelor". All these crazy chicks are trying to "win the heart" of Flavor Flav a has been rapper from the early 90's. But the chicks on the show get nuts and fight verbally and physically over this little tiny scrawny man.

It sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders and is apparently popular with the "in crowd" so maybe this chick is just jealous of her.

I would definately contact the school and tell them that you will not tolerate your daughter being bullied and if her grades or attitude starts to change because of issues with this girl you will contact your attorney. That will put them on notice that you expect your daughter to be learning in a safe environment.

Good luck!!!

I don't have children, let alone high school age, but my advice would be - don't be so reactive. Maybe something comes out of this, and maybe nothing does. She acted correctly in getting "her side of the story" filed after the incident was over - a very good practice IMO.

Hmm, I know who he is. The only way I've ever heard the term used was as a very rude racial slur against blacks. Here's what Urban Dictionary says (posting only the ones that might be relevant):

1. (Apparently an alter-ego to redneck, and received the most votes)

Similarities of Rednecks and Flava Flavs include a love for their Mothers--or MotherFuckers when you consider their individual and collective ability teach their children anything of lasting value save more illegitimate children.

"Hey, Flava Flav, its time you paid child support...you fucking moron!"

2.

To not help someone in need since Flava Flav can't do nuttin' fo' you man because he's got problems of his own.

Sorry, but I can't Flava Flav you today. My car is in the shop.

3.

A nickname used to described a very horny dude or dudette that hunts or preys on unsuspecting potential sexual acquaintances for a quick "dip" usually "auditioning them on a reality show" like in a bar!!! LMBFAO!

Flava Flav howz it going?

Wild!... had to send the cat home early, looking for another one tonight!

4.

A freezie popsicle that is usally found in a freezer

Hey mayne can i get a flava flav from your freeza

IF ANYONE HAS BEEN THROUGH THESE THINGS AND CAN OFFER ADVICE IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED AS I'M AT MY WITT'S END!!!

Hi Becky ~

I feel your pain!!! I have an awesome 14 year-old daughter who fits your daughters description to a T . . . Mine is also very popular and has also been 'targeted' by girls who are jealous of her.

My advice would be to make the principal aware of the situation immediately and make sure he or she understands that you will not tolerate any sort of retaliation (sp?) against your daughter. Period. Girls can be so MEAN and our girls are at a brutal age. As a former Juvenile Probation Officer I can also say that some girls are dangerous. Your daughter might be scared and just not want to tell you that because they want to be able to handle everything on their own. Mine does. I never hear about things that have happened from my daughter, always from another Mom whose daughter told them . . .

The alternative - doing nothing is not an option because if something else happens and your daughter is hurt, you will inevitably feel like you let her down and didn't protect her.

I say pay a visit to the school - today.

Keep us posted and good luck!

I don't have children, let alone high school age, but my advice would be - don't be so reactive. Maybe something comes out of this, and maybe nothing does.

I totally disagree . . . you don't risk your child's safety.

I would contact the school and make them aware of the situation so they can keep an eye on it. That is as far as I would take it...

If you raise to much of a stink, or involve the police, etc; chances are you will alienate your daughter even more and piss off the girls that are causing troubles more than they alreade are.

I had a girl in high school threaten me EVERY DAY for almost the whole year. She'd get in my face and call me every name in the book. I usually just laughed at her and walked away, but secretly was very scared of her. One day I said, "what the hell??? Why are you angry at me?" She said I was the girl who'd called her best friend a name. I said no, I didn't even know that girl...turns out it was another Rhonda in our school, and after that the girl left me alone.

If I'd gotten my mother involved, I'd have been laughed out of class. Now, as a parent, I'd want to be involved, but I'm sure my daughter would feel the same way as I did back then.

It's a tough call, but I think your daughter did the right thing, and I'm not sure there is much you can do.

Do you know the girl, or her parents? That may make a difference...

Since your daughter reported the incident, I think I would just sit on it. You could call the school and make sure they're aware of it, but since your daughter reported it, that would be kind of redundant, other than making sure that they are aware that you are aware. It could just be a one off incident, in which case it'd be better to not spend much energy on it.

Also, if your daughter is friends (really friends) with the football players and such, they'd probably stick up for her if something really started to happen other than a screaming match.

If your daughter was younger I'd say it would be better to jump at the chance to get envolved.

I totally disagree . . . you don't risk your child's safety.

Ah my eyes

Te daughter did the right thing in filing a report and/or speaking with school officials. I understand parents get upset when their children are "messed with" - trust me, I don't have kids but I have young family. But knee jerk reactions to anything usually cause more harm than good, and people often wish they had just withheld a little longer. It's not like I told her "do nothing" - I just suggested less being less reactionary. That does not mean her daughter's safety will be at risk.

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Ah my eyes

Te daughter did the right thing in filing a report and/or speaking with school officials. I understand parents get upset when their children are "messed with" - trust me, I don't have kids but I have young family. But knee jerk reactions to anything usually cause more harm than good, and people often wish they had just withheld a little longer. It's not like I told her "do nothing" - I just suggested less being less reactionary. That does not mean her daughter's safety will be at risk.

Oh sorry - that is bright red and big . . . :omg: I didn't mean to be so offensive.

You're right that her daughter did the right thing in reporting the incident and that may be enough. Because we have had the same type of experience my reaction was probably a little strong. Blame it on my "mama bear" instincts . . . Teenage girls can be so mean to each other and it just infuriates me!!!

If I'd gotten my mother involved, I'd have been laughed out of class. Now, as a parent, I'd want to be involved, but I'm sure my daughter would feel the same way as I did back then.

quote]

I am sure my daughter would have a stroke if I got involved too, but that would be my knee-jerk (gut) reaction . . . to 'protect' her. Even when mine is having an issue with the teacher or coach, she doesn't want me anywhere near the school.

Oh sorry - that is bright red and big . . . :omg: I didn't mean to be so offensive.

You're right that her daughter did the right thing in reporting the incident and that may be enough. Because we have had the same type of experience my reaction was probably a little strong. Blame it on my "mama bear" instincts . . . Teenage girls can be so mean to each other and it just infuriates me!!!

Yes, they can, but at the same time, they get over things quickly.. One day they are fighting the next they are BFF... As parents, our first instinct is to protect, but sometimes we need to give our kids the ability to learn to deal with things on their own. I think that is part of growing up and becoming mature young adults.

making sure that they are aware that you are aware. /quote]

This is actually exactly what I meant to say . . .

Although I agree to a point with not getting involved . here is another problem that can come up . Most schools have zero tolerance policies now for violence. Which includes children DEFENDING their selves if they are attacked.

you may think im nuts but at my son's school ( He's a freshman) there was a girl who was being bullied on my space , there were being threats made against her that she would be killed, jumped ect.

Keep in mind this is a upper middle class school too ..

The mother went to the school, told them about the situation , told them she wanted something done, showed them the myspace.

THAT DAY the girl was jumped in front of the school buses. MULTIPLE witness', other students parents reported she did NOTHING BUT PROTECT Herself. they threw her in the alternative learning center TOO . WHY because she threw a punch as well. AFTER she was attacked, Zero tolerance.

I would contact the school . let them know this is going on . IF YOUR daughter get attacked let them know under NO CIRCUMSTANCE will you tolerate her being punished for protecting herself !!!!

Do not just assume sitting back and doing nothing or letting the school take care of it is enough .

read the zero tolerance policy at your childs school, you would be surpised what it says. Also do not assume other children will get involved, their loyalties do not run that deep yet .

Mindy

There was this guy in HS that HATED me.. the entire time I was there. And I mean hate, like I did something to him. When we found out we were in the same classes (Seems we always were), he'd make a point to cuss and get pissed off that he has to share the same air with me. I NEVER understood why. I would always ask.. what the hell is your problem?! And he would just give me pissed off looks. I would ask around (we had semi-mutual friends) about what I ever did to him, and heard mixed stories.. He thought I turned someone in to the cops for xyz (I don't even know the whole story), someone said my brother (who was a drug addict at the time, and probably affiliated with this guy) told him something about me, but I don't know what.. in any event, I've been out of HS for 6 years and I still dwell on that. I want to know what his problem was. I know for a fact I never did anything to him, to his friends, etc.

My point was, teenage guys are crazy too!!

It's the hormones and cliques.

I don't have kids, but I wouldn't get involved unless she was threatened.. Maybe one of her cheerleader or football friends said something mean to that girl and said your daughter said it. It's amazing how quick things like that can happen in HS. Good riddens to all that crap!!

Most schools have zero tolerance policies now for violence. Which includes children DEFENDING their selves if they are attacked.

MULTIPLE witness', other students parents reported she did NOTHING BUT PROTECT Herself. they threw her in the alternative learning center TOO . WHY because she threw a punch as well. AFTER she was attacked, Zero tolerance. Mindy

Exact same thing here where we are right outside of Houston . . . A girl in one of my daughters classes was pushed into a locker in the hall by a boy and she kicked AT him after he pushed her - she didn't even connect . . . She had a broken wrist to nurse while she was serving her 'in-school-suspension' for defending herself.

My kids gets pushed into a locker, her wrist broken and SHE is going to be punished for defending herself -- she didn't start it . . . I don't think so!

No offense intended - but, I think it is hard to understand unless you have kids and have dealt with some of this . . . I can't imagine that I would have known how I would feel either before.