Pre op feeling alone in SF cali

[Mama Des 12]

Hi everyone. I’m getting nervous and excited and alone. Is anyone in Sf or Bay Area that can be of support? I’m a few days away from sergery and feel as if I’m in this alone. Family are all just eating away like nothing. Husband is clueless. Not taking the day off. And grown kids are having a cook out…I have no healthy friends and I am brand new to all of this. Are there any local support groups? Any advice? 3 days and counting and I’m so irritated. 😊still happy and blessed 😇 sorry I had to dump this out tks

[BigSue 1,325]

No need to apologize -- we're here to support each other! I don't know if there are any support groups in the Bay Area, but this site is a great resource. Sorry to hear your family isn't being supportive, but unfortunately, it's going to be rough for a while as you get used to your new life. You're going to have to watch other people eat as you go through the liquid, pureed, and soft food stages. You're probably going to miss some of the foods you used to eat and maybe have feelings of regret. But you'll eventually be able to eat "normal" foods again and learn to love a healthier way of eating. Just remember why you're doing this -- it's an amazing chance to improve your health and quality of life. Once you start to see results, it will all be worth it and you'll probably wish you had done it sooner. Good luck!

[Oeschrm 5]

So sorry that you are feeling alone. It is tough--when I was pre-surgery I felt the same at times. People say they will support you, but all that amounted to was them just not disagreeing with me on the choice to have surgery. Family still thought it was a good idea to get together for dinners. I had to sit there with my bowl of Protein added Soup while they chowed down on real food. And then my sister insisted upon celebrating her birthday with a very special cake. I hated it.

Today, I don't eat with my family. I prepare my own food and eat by myself. I really don't care what is going on around me. I refuse to have family meals because I have invested over $14K in this and I don't want to mess it up. So I have been stubborn. And I am losing weight. So no one calls me a party pooper or holds it against me--they are all amazed at how successful I have been and I take full credit!! When everyone else eats I am doing something else--reading, watching TV, laundry--what ever.

If you are nervous about surgery--Here's the thing: I found my nurses and all the medical staff at the hospital to be AMAZING. So once you are there, you should be in good hands. Walking aids in healing--so force yourself to try to get up and pace the halls a bit. I found a good routine: sleep, pee, walk, back to bed, meds--then started it all over again. Follow docs orders and you should do fine.

Keep visiting the forum. There are some wonderful people on here that can answer questions and tell you that you are awesome. You are brave and YOU CAN DO THIS!!

[Dogmom68 135]

On 07/11/2021 at 23:32, Mama Des said:

Hi everyone. I’m getting nervous and excited and alone. Is anyone in Sf or Bay Area that can be of support? I’m a few days away from sergery and feel as if I’m in this alone. Family are all just eating away like nothing. Husband is clueless. Not taking the day off. And grown kids are having a cook out…I have no healthy friends and I am brand new to all of this. Are there any local support groups? Any advice? 3 days and counting and I’m so irritated. 😊still happy and blessed 😇 sorry I had to dump this out tks

I’m so sorry you’re feeling alone! I completely understand how you feel. I decided not to share my decision for surgery with anyone but my husband so I didn’t have any other support except for people on this website. Just know we are all here for you and you will get to know people. I know it’s not the same as having face-to-face communication but chatting with people on here was so helpful for me. I had surgery February 9 of this year so I’m only 5 months out. I still have questions about things sometimes. You should feel proud of yourself for taking all this on on your own! You can do this! Just think how great you’ll feel a few months from now with your weight decreasing. The surgery recovery wasn’t too bad for me. I was up and about at home the day after I was released from the hospital. I only spent one night there. The nurses will give you all the help you need while you are there and your doctor and dietitian will be there for you anytime after. You won’t be alone! Hang in there!!!💕

[Jaelzion 1,123]

11 hours ago, Mama Des said:

Hi everyone. I’m getting nervous and excited and alone. Is anyone in Sf or Bay Area that can be of support? I’m a few days away from sergery and feel as if I’m in this alone. Family are all just eating away like nothing. Husband is clueless. Not taking the day off. And grown kids are having a cook out…I have no healthy friends and I am brand new to all of this. Are there any local support groups? Any advice? 3 days and counting and I’m so irritated. 😊still happy and blessed 😇 sorry I had to dump this out tks

I'm sorry you don't have the support you need. Do you have the kind of relationship with your husband where you can just say "Hey I'm feeling really nervous about this upcoming surgery and I need to know you're in this with me". If you want him with you (if he would be allowed, due to COVID he still might not be), can you just ask - "I'd feel better if you would come with me"? He might be clueless, as you said, but once made aware that he's not supporting you enough, maybe he would do better? Try not to hold it against the family that they are eating, nothing has changed from their perspective - it's business as usual. Things like parties and cookouts will happen all along the way both before and after your surgery. You'll learn to be comfortable with your eating plan and in all likelihood, it will be a LOT easier after surgery. Hang in there and lean on us. The forum is open 24/7 and there's almost always someone online. Best wishes!

Edit to add: I'm in the Bay Area too (North Bay these days, but I grew up in San Francisco).

Edited July 12, 2021 by Jaelzion

[Mama Des 12]

Thank you for your kind words. Your right I will just tell him how I feel. And it’s good to hear from someone who knows. Thank you

[Dogmom68 135]

Mama Des, just want to see how you’re doing!!!

[Mama Des 12]

Hi. I’m doing ok. How about you?

[Bee-93 0]

Hi Mama Des! I was sleeved 9/15 and did a search for San Francisco to see if there was anyone nearby. I’d love to find a local fitness accountability buddy now that I can start exercising again. Do you jog? I’m in the Hayes Valley neighborhood. Please dm me if you’re interested :)

[Mama Des 12]

Hi Bee. Thank you for reaching out. Unfortunately I do not jog but I definitely need a accountability buddy too. I have not worked out or jogged for many years. I need to start by joining a gym. Or something 😃??