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I need some advice. I am about 7 weeks post op from revision. My brother passed away last week. I am having a hard time coping. Emotional eating is no longer an option. I would like 1/2 glass of wine. I know that transfer addiction is real to I’m being mindful of my triggers. Any advice would be appreciated.

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I am so sorry for your loss, I would look into therapy for help if possible for assistance.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. For me, I believe that not facing grief helped me to gain weight. In 2009 and 2010 I lost two brothers and my dad. All had chronic issues they’d been dealing with so the stress and sadness was well before their passings. I think if I’d had better coping strategies I could have met the sadness instead of shoving it down. finding a professional to share your struggle with is an excellent idea. I hope you have supportive people around you. Personally I’d try to keep away from the alcohol, but that’s a decision only you can make. Again, I’m so sorry.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with others who suggested counseling, but if that's not something you want to do, maybe meditation, doing a charity walk for a cause related to their death (If applicable), channeling your grief into making some physical object that reminds you of them, taking up a new exercise program, joining a grief support group, listening to music, journaling...

I hope you find something that can help you in your grief.

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I am so sorry for your loss.. In my experience not many people can stop at 1/2 a glass..so I would be careful about that..(me I'm that person😅)...Also I am about 7 weeks out from a revision surgery and have had lots of similar thoughts...they will pass if you distract yourself long enough or drink a ton of water... Try talking with friends, family or a medical professional about your thoughts. But remember your pouch is still healing and you will be grieving and healing...transfer addiction is a slippery slope and you have been through a lot and need to take care of yourself.

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Very sorry for your loss. I would take the advice of the others and seek some counseling/therapy. Be very careful not to start drinking alcohol especially at this stage.

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So sorry for your loss. Be careful with alcohol. I was revised almost a year ago and I rarely drank but it has developed into something else. It is not the same as before. The bypass has changed the way alcohol effects me and its more or less instant relaxation/gratification? I really cant explain it but I can tell you its no good. I do realize that some bypassers will still have no issues but I am not one of those. I start therapy soon. I had to reach out before something terrible happens. Good luck to you

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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