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I told an old acquaintance the other day that I had bariatric surgery. She proceeded to tell me about a horror story of one of her friends who had the surgery 25 years ago in Mexico. Her friend has had severe complications that have never resolved. Although I had mine done at a Bariatric Center of Excellence here in the states, her story did cause me anxiety. I’m only 3 weeks past surgery and I need to stay positive! I won’t be so open in the future!

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25 minutes ago, SoulGardener said:

I told an old acquaintance the other day that I had bariatric surgery. She proceeded to tell me about a horror story of one of her friends who had the surgery 25 years ago in Mexico. Her friend has had severe complications that have never resolved. Although I had mine done at a Bariatric Center of Excellence here in the states, her story did cause me anxiety. I’m only 3 weeks past surgery and I need to stay positive! I won’t be so open in the future!

actually, weight loss surgeries WERE very risky 25 years ago! I think that's what a lot of people are remembering when you tell them you had it. Techniques have improved drastically since then -- they're much safer now than they were back then.

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Posted (edited)

My weight was down about 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with Lupus and put on meds that actually made me lose a lot of weight. I went from 235lbs then to 178Lbs due to nausea and sleeping all the time for months. Family and friends noticed but knew it was from my meds. Of course I have gained it all back plus 40lbs so I know I’ll be questioned how I lost weight once again. I don’t want to tell certain family members about WLS because I am not close with them/get along with them and don’t feel I owe them an explanation. How did you manage keeping your weight loss private from those you do not want to discuss it with? I’m so nervous about it and don’t want to lie to them but feel it’s none of their business. Any suggestions?

Edited by Anj0399

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2 minutes ago, Anj0399 said:

My weight was down about 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with Lupus and put on meds that actually made me lose a lot of weight. I went from 235lbs then to 178Lbs due to nausea and sleeping all the time for months. Family and friends noticed but knew it was from my meds. Of course I have gained it all back plus 40lbs so I know I’ll be questioned how I lost weight once again. I don’t want to tell certain family members about WLS because I am not close with them/get along with them and don’t feel I owe them an explanation. How did you manage keeping your weight loss private from those you do not want to discuss it with? I’m so nervous about it and don’t want to lie to them but feel it’s none of their business. Any suggestions?

My approach was to start to diet and workout before surgery and post about it on Facebook. After surgery I will start this back. If anyone i feel needs o know I will be honest, to others I will just say I am working hard which is the truth. as far as the surgery everyone thinks it is hernia repair

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3 minutes ago, Anj0399 said:

My weight was down about 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with Lupus and put on meds that actually made me lose a lot of weight. I went from 235lbs then to 178Lbs due to nausea and sleeping all the time for months. Family and friends noticed but knew it was from my meds. Of course I have gained it all back plus 40lbs so I know I’ll be questioned how I lost weight once again. I don’t want to tell certain family members about WLS because I am not close with them/get along with them and don’t feel I owe them an explanation. How did you manage keeping your weight loss private from those you do not want to discuss it with? I’m so nervous about it and don’t want to lie to them but feel it’s none of their business. Any suggestions?

Someone else here said you can just say "My doctor and I came up with a treatment plan and it's working". You could also say "I completely overhauled my life". Both of these things are true but not the WHOLE STORY. I'm telling people I'm having surgery, even though people may not respond well, because that's just my personality. If they don't like it, eff 'em.

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10 minutes ago, Anj0399 said:

My weight was down about 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with Lupus and put on meds that actually made me lose a lot of weight. I went from 235lbs then to 178Lbs due to nausea and sleeping all the time for months. Family and friends noticed but knew it was from my meds. Of course I have gained it all back plus 40lbs so I know I’ll be questioned how I lost weight once again. I don’t want to tell certain family members about WLS because I am not close with them/get along with them and don’t feel I owe them an explanation. How did you manage keeping your weight loss private from those you do not want to discuss it with? I’m so nervous about it and don’t want to lie to them but feel it’s none of their business. Any suggestions?

Start telling them that you are dieting and eating better now and seeing a nutritionist and exercising. Everything you are already doing so when they see you next and you’ve lost weight it won’t seem so fast.

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2 hours ago, ClarkKent said:

My approach was to start to diet and workout before surgery and post about it on Facebook. After surgery I will start this back. If anyone i feel needs o know I will be honest, to others I will just say I am working hard which is the truth. as far as the surgery everyone thinks it is hernia repair

Thanks for the recommendation! I think that could work :)

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1 hour ago, Alex Brecher said:

I wrote a little article on this topic 7-8 years ago at

Great article! It was very helpful!

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2 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

Start telling them that you are dieting and eating better now and seeing a nutritionist and exercising. Everything you are already doing so when they see you next and you’ve lost weight it won’t seem so fast.

Great idea! Love it!

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2 hours ago, lizonaplane said:

Someone else here said you can just say "My doctor and I came up with a treatment plan and it's working". You could also say "I completely overhauled my life". Both of these things are true but not the WHOLE STORY. I'm telling people I'm having surgery, even though people may not respond well, because that's just my personality. If they don't like it, eff 'em.

Thanks, I like the idea of stating my doctor has me on a plan, which of course he does! And right, if they don’t like it “eff’em” lol!!!

2 hours ago, lizonaplane said:

Someone else here said you can just say "My doctor and I came up with a treatment plan and it's working". You could also say "I completely overhauled my life". Both of these things are true but not the WHOLE STORY. I'm telling people I'm having surgery, even though people may not respond well, because that's just my personality. If they don't like it, eff 'em.

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2 hours ago, ClarkKent said:

My approach was to start to diet and workout before surgery and post about it on Facebook. After surgery I will start this back. If anyone i feel needs o know I will be honest, to others I will just say I am working hard which is the truth. as far as the surgery everyone thinks it is hernia repair

Great idea...I am working hard with diet and exercise so that’s a great answer! Thanks!

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