I hope it’s ok to start a new Topic regarding goal weight. Having lost weight in the past and lost that fight not too long ago, Gastric bypass surgery was my last hope of having a tool to fight it. My lowest weight then will be quite different from my goal weight now and it scares me in a way because when I reached my lowest weight I didn’t stay there. I had to settle with a higher weight. Maybe because of that I haven’t really focused on a goal until my Mom asked me when would I celebrate losing weight. I didn’t have an answer. I found a weight chart on my clinic nutrition manual to document the first five months and one thing it asks is weight goal. Basically you write down once a week your weight, weight loss for the week and BMI. I had printed out a calendar and write my weight on it every morning. So I decided to fill this out and see it on one page.

When I was calculating BMI, I wondered at what weight would I not be obese anymore and just be overweight. I decided that I will try to see it as three different goals rather than just one. The first goal would be the weight that takes me out of obesity and into just being overweight, the second goal would be the top end of healthy weight that border between overweight and healthy weight, the third goal will be somewhere in the middle to lower end of healthy weight based my height and body frame. Though I think the final goal will be to determine what weight I feel best at and hopefully stay there.

The biggest hurdle, past all the metabolic disorders, chronic illness and disability limitations will be to stay in the goal weight range.

I started out 208 lbs which I’ve had people ask why I was having surgery. I’m very short. And nothing I did before was helping me now. Surgery I was 103.7.

So for me my goals are:

Goal 1: 148 lbs BMI 28.4

Goal 2: 123 lbs BMI 24

Goal 3: 106 lbs BMI 20.7

at this point goal 2 seems very far away. That’s where I was when I first lost weight. But my bone density and body frame has changed since then, as has my height. I have a lot of medical issues. Plus degenerative disc disease and scoliosis took height. I didn’t do this for looks, though I wouldn’t mind not cringing at my reflection, I did this because I can’t live with the burden the weight has on my health, both physical and emotional. Will I ever be free of seeing myself as the bullied fat kid that never fit in? Probably not. But for now I want to just have concrete goals. I guess because there is so much in my life I have no control of. I want this to be one thing I can, at least try to.

Well for me overweight came at a little less than 190, say 186, but I must be a lot taller than you. When I achieve the weight I set Myself I will probably still be in the "Overweight" catagory. I think the BMI Would Be 26.6, so to reach "Normal" would be many more pounds to go!

1 hour ago, Frustr8 said:

Well for me overweight came at a little less than 190, say 186, but I must be a lot taller than you. When I achieve the weight I set Myself I will probably still be in the "Overweight" catagory. I think the BMI Would Be 26.6, so to reach "Normal" would be many more pounds to go!

You are at least 7-8” taller than me, I’m basically 5’ maybe an inch more on a good day ... I think I’m finally in the high end of overweight category vs obese. For now i would be ok reaching the second goal and seeing how I feel. I never could seem to get below around 134 lbs. I’d like to at least reach 124 lbs. in my next goal, seems low but comparatively my mother is similar height and around 98 lbs, at my heaviest I was over twice her weight . Your frame size also factors into it and while I used to be larger boned, due to chronic illness I lost a lot of bone density and my frame size is more on the small end now.

I think the frustration is that we ate the nearly same foods and for so long I was strict about carbs, no sugar, and low calories to try to compensate for very low metabolism. Yet I started gaining out of control. And even now I don’t think I will be able to eat normal calories. Anything over 400 calories and I stop losing. I keep trying to test it.

I try not to focus on the numbers. I wish it didn’t have to be at the forefront, it takes a lot of energy to keep up, and I have little to no energy to begin with. People assume it’s my low calories, actually not but rather chronic illness.

I don’t know, people think I’ll magically be cured because I fought to lose weight. It doesn’t work that way not for me at least. I just couldn’t carry the burden of 100 extra pounds of weight.

I’m still on very basic foods and haven’t even tried purée again. At the most I have a protein shake, yogurt mixed with protein powder, cottage cheese, occasionally soft boiled egg. I did try mixing protein powder with egg and cooking it. I guess anything that isn’t dense and very easy to chew or barely needs chewing. I had a recent follow up and the nutritionist was helpful but I didn’t see my surgeon and the doctor I did see was not listening very well. But I am going for a colonoscopy so my gastroenterologist will do the endoscopy that my surgeon wants so they can check in on things. Sorry I went totally off topic.

No No It's All Part of the Big Picture, so as long as You Stay on Target you're not vearing too far away from the Topic at Hand.

I have 2 goals. 1st is the doctors goal. He said I should be able to get down to 160. I was 226.8 when I first say him and 205 the day of surgery. I am 5'4". I think 160 is way too high and I am certain I can get below that now that I have this new tool. My goal is 135. For BMI... I could go well below that, but I look too thin if I am less than 130. 135 was my healthy weight 10 years ago. Hoping to get close to that.

And May You Work to make It so- I have passed Doctor's Goal- anything below 200 but I am still trying for My Dream of 175- so so close- really am hating My At3as of Gauntness- 2 of my,Major Doctors SAY I'm Looking Fine- but I am Doubting Myself at This Point- maybe a Crisis of Spirit- it the Emesis, underlying pain and the knowledge I inately now feel " Gastrointestinally Crippled" and it is a Life Sentence without Parole, maybe it is time to seek some Bariatric type consultation SOMEWHERE- people keep saying "I'm Just Fine" nobody actually seems to Listen- and a Niggl8ng Voice wisps for the days of Tummy satifactionn oh it Wasn't Always" Binge City" for Me- I just wish i DIDN'T HURT ANY MORE- yeah the scale does Read Lovely but have I, like the Biblical Esau, sold my soul for A Bowl of Pottage_ And were the deminishment of size worth the pain and perpetual nausea state I have now? I went into this to regain health NOT to lose it in the process- the Brave Little Cowgirl is feeling Midnight Blue this AM- even watched the Bypass reversal. Videos on YouTube- DON'T Think I'M QUITE THERE YET but am teetering towards- even IF it killed me and an Open Abdominal surgery at 73 just COULD I might die with the sense of peace I don't feel TODAY- I am weary of the struggle, my friends, and too too depressed over what I elected to have done to ME. But I can't commit to suicide for ME - I couldn't hurt my family, friends and BP friends by THIS, my uncle did kill himself before I was born and my Daddy carried emotional scars to his own death 50+ years later, mourned his brother that was his "Irish Twin" only 11 months between them and when He told me of Uncle Clement, He Cri3d and I did TOO-! So where does One go from Here? Sorry to Vent- maybe there is PEACE Ahead? Some Say :Give Yourself at least 18 months to Feel Healed" Well I'm still less than That, maybe I will be Okay?

I haven't asked my doctor's goal for me yet. In fact, I'm switching doctors due to changing insurance and having to have surgery in October, so I haven't even met him yet. I saw something in the computer that said my goal was 175, which would have me in the obese range, so I would definitely like to beat that goal.

Right now I have 125 in my mind because that would put me close to the middle of my healthy BMI, but I know once I start losing weight, I may change that based on where I feel comfortable and healthy.

7 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

people keep saying "I'm Just Fine" nobody actually seems to Listen-

7 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

the Brave Little Cowgirl is feeling Midnight Blue this AM-

@Frustr8 I understand, I really honestly do. I’ve spent most of my life with chronic pain, always fatigued and sick, always some new diagnosis or symptom. My main diagnosis has Bayan considered worse than HIV worse than cancer and causes something called post exertional malaise. It impacts every part of my body. It doesn’t matter my actual age my body feels old, there are people twice my age that feel younger than me. Not asking for pity for myself but that I understand you wanted the surgery and losing weight to make you feel good and not like a gastrointestinal cripple.

Its hard. The smaller body is good but people look and think well then everything else must be good too. People didn’t think I needed to lose weight before surgery and now I’m sure they think I lost enough when I didn’t. They assume that you will also feel physically well. And you should expect to. But when you ask for help they look the other way.

My head doesn’t work very well anymore, All I can say is can you see the bariatric surgeon and talk about the never ending nausea? That you still can’t enjoy food.

I understand that feeling. On one hand I already had aversion to foods because of loss of ability to properly taste food and smell and always being nauseous but I could find things I liked sometimes and I could drink lots of water. I only really liked water. Now I can’t drink sips without feeling supremely sick. I try to drink ice tea and thinner shakes it’s the same. I was told thicken the water, yuck thicken water with some nice chemicals? Though the water thing probably isn’t because of the surgery.

but not moving past the softest of “foods” can be truly frustrating. So I try to tell myself I don’t care and my nutritionist says I have to try as if it’s just a mental block and not a physical one. Im not trusting the whole balloon dilation now and expecting it to go back how it was (stricture)

i knew going into this I would probably make my overall medical conditions worse but it was either fight for bariatric surgery to fight the rapid weight gain that even eating 800 calories of healthy food I couldn’t stop, or give up altogether. And even now I walk that thin line. And moments when my body feels literally like death and that would be easier. Yet I keep going and trying to take each step forward and trying to focus on the tiny goals of losing weight. Even though I will always feel like the bullied fat kid.

You answered my message on my post but I needed to respond here first before I got too tired to say what I wanted to say. Please give things time, I know it’s hard. Get an appointment to speak to your surgeon and nutritionist and try to get that message across to them. You have a goal to reach and you just want to get there and also feel better too. I truly hope you do.

Thanks Darktowerdream, I believe you do understand and I'm going to see what I can find out about this "Mell of a Hess" life I'm leading. Oh I do try to remain upbeat, optimistic, but sometimes I just Feel so bone-ass weary of it All.
Like the happy optimistic twin locked in a room full of manure, if I look hard enough there's got to be a pony SOMEWHERE!

To be totally honest I never think in terms, of positive or negative , just see it exactly as it is in that given moment, I mean I guess optimism is good but I am just a realist, and want that from other people especially doctors to just say the facts not like oh you’re fine or everything is going to be fine, or to just go by the book or what other people experience. I don’t like sugar coating. I either say it as it is or say nothing.

Food lick ... I’ll leave that there my brain is more scrambled than eggs tonight I meant to type good luck with getting through to someone with how you feel. It’s a hard path, wear good tough shoes ... maybe for a little butt kicking. Don’t let them play the age card either, you deserve to feel good after having surgery and lost so much weight.