Darktowerdream

I get enough protein without meat I love No cow protein bars. If you need protein shake supplement Vega yea one I found I like. I am not vegan. I always ate a mix of vegetarian foods and meat but health reasons I slowly stopped eating meat. I did have eggs with a veggie burger (the actual vegetable style burger a way of getting veggies made in a way my gut could handle) Dr. Praeger's Cauliflower Burger and California Burgers have been my go to. I used to put egg on a small veggie burger. They have "Just egg" that is a vegetarian egg substitute that you can make your own scramble or omelette. There are many options not just beans. You can take plant based omegas, Bragg Nutritional yeast, Vitamin K to name three I can think of as top supplements. Protein intake is based on body weight and activity base protein is 0.36 grams Protein per 1lb of body weight. and more based on type of diet and activity level. too much protein actually converts to sugar. I am now working through some issues not related to my surgery. but have reached goal and maintained since my surgery 2019.

April 29th 2019 at 44 with lifelong chronic illness/disability, already had hysterectomy at 35, metabolic disorders, inability to exercise due to post exertional malaise from M.E. I was already utilizing tools of low carb low calorie yet my weight skyrocketed and I was just lost. Finally came the tool of Gastric Bypass (had to have my gallbladder removed at the same time) I was strict, eventually found it helpful to keep a daily log of weight, food, calories and protein. I reached goal by March 2020. As a lifelong tool it is very beneficial. I do not think age is a factor. Perhaps menopause can be in some ways for women but otherwise this is the Gold Standard ... never see it as a diet but a change for life and it will take you far.

@ChubRub I hope you are continuing to do well. I thought about starting a new topic but I am too chicken 🤣 I kind of acclimated myself to the idea of swimsuits by walking around in my underwear (around the house alone of course) and slowly wearing different clothes. and finally got myself to get into a swimming pool. Trying to go each day but boy do I pay! The hefty price of living with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and Post Exertional Malaise. I can barely do much else. I mean its nice being in the water albeit the pain is there but yet you can kind of turn focus elsewhere in a way. Last time I genuinely was in a pool was as a kid. I was never good at traditional swimming. My thing is swimming under the water. People cant figure out how I can sit on the bottom of the pool ... But I can't doggy paddle or float. Have you been swimming yet? with the heat as it is. Its a necessity to even be outside at all ... I actually got myself to wear two piece swimsuits. Not full on Bikini. Thats just not my thing. And there is a lot of gossip at the pool already ... dont need more. get enough commentary on swim shorts and a crop top. dealing with some digestive issues the pool is a distraction.

I meant to answer this but have been exhausted. I don't know exactly what it was that impacted my post op recovery most. I had my gallbladder removed alongside the gastric bypass. besides Adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia I have lifelong Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. And quite a few medical conditions. I am now finding out it is likely I also have Ehlers Danlos. I am trying to find a definitive diagnosis. My post op recovery took a little longer, I was bedbound after surgery. I ended up back in hospital shortly after going home due to an undiagnosed pre-existing condition (likely tied to Ehlers Danlos) that caused Aspiration pneumonia (a form of dysphasia) I dont think the Adrenal Hyperplasia itself affected my recovery. Even with all my medical conditions and even with the challenges I have had over the course of my surgery and the recovery and the challenges now - I do not regret having had Gastric Bypass surgery. I would never have reached the weight I have now which is a normal healthy weight for my height that I never could reach even as a pre-teen. Well I cannot remember being this weight. I have to find ways to work around different barriers and challenges I guess. I was extremely weak but now I think it was both due to M.E. and possible Ehlers Danlos. I just would do it again as well as the skin removal and body lift procedures I had despite the challenge that was ... especially because of the roadblocks that Adrenal hyperplasia, PCOS, and the inability to exercise due to M.E imposed on me. caused.

I have read that since gas does not go into the stomach after bypass or stay in the pouch it travels directly to the small intestine which is below the ribs on the left side, try to avoid gassy foods and take digestive enzymes with meals (chewables) and see how you feel. It tends to get trapped in the blind portion of small intestine as well (at least from some reading I have done) if it persists then you investigate further.

@ChubRub I have wanted to say something and just have been overwhelmed and exhausted but you look absolutely amazing! I would like some touch ups too but doubt it is in the cards for me. Flat Tummy looking awesome it is a win for sure. helps make feel that hard work of the WLS journey was worth it. To see the excess skin gone too. I am finding I might have a connective tissue disorder that effects collagen so no amount of collagen supplements can help my skin or joints I worry return of laxity and already have some in areas (calves, back of knees, inside of knees) seeking diagnosis. of course there is more pressing issue to do with bones and joints and such. Just frustrating. I have not had anyone to talk to. I found out it tends to effect people who have had Gastric bypass surgery (digestive problems) so all signs are there since I am having major issue there even now two years out. likely due to this not the WLS itself. sorry went off on Tangent. I cant stay in a straight line. Just why I have not been around much. Keeping it vague because I dont want to take away from your awesome post. My scars are mostly fading pretty well and I am reaching my one year post plastics very soon.

I have not been around much and I have thought about this question also. I know the stomach is only separated by a staple line. But do wonder if the fact that it is only separated by a staple line can cause ulcers at the junction point between pouch and intestine (in some people that were previously prone to them) I sometimes question if my body is adverse to the staple line. I am nearing my two year anniversary it is so hard to believe that. But am struggling with some problems eating. and an ulcer. I did see my surgeon a few months ago, but besides medication even my gastroenterologist had no answer and the meds are not working they just dont work for me. This question made me think how I question what role the remnant stomach has in this.

my honest first thought you look stunning and the green is gorgeous. I am not much into clothes or being fancy but I have been working on wearing things I have not since I was a kid pretty much. Like short shorts instead of Bermudas ... wearing shirts that are either tucked in or don't cover the butt of my bottoms and wearing more casual dresses than I wore in my lifetime (literally) I have yet to conquer the swimsuit arena. I have collected some I got cheap. I think part of it is "poolside politics" 🤣 and I know how critical the people are.

I find it confusing too as my Ferritin has consistently been 6 even when my iron has been within normal range. Its hard for my digestive system to handle Iron supplements because of diverticulosis, and some unknown issue causing narrowing of the colon (and inflammation) even small amounts of iron constipate terribly, The only time my Ferritin when up a bit was when I had blood transfusion for surgery. I took a "non constipating" iron supplement lets just say it didnt live up to its claim. not sure how people do it. Or if theres possibly another cause of low ferritin unrelated to gastric bypass thats coincidental that compounds the issue.

this is a balm I used, not as thick but I liked it https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07YN6TT33/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 post shower wound care cleanse I used before drying off https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B004YNP9ZA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Comfortable bras https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B08B4GTKRZ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 another thing thats very good is Tamanu Oil! I highly recommend it. I used mine until it ran out ... its good for many things.

looking awesome! my Faja does not have a flap so I did wear my underwear over it but not as nicely matched as yours! I still feel when I swell especially when it gets humid, but also have issues separate from the surgeries. I ended up not using any silicone strips ... I just have no patience (or funds) for things like that ... I did use a natural ointment vs antibiotic with propolis, silver, tee trea oil blend. I use natural exfoliation scrub and lotion as just regular shower routine. but not anything special for scars for a while. my surgeon recommended kinetic tape but I did not try it. I do sleep with the Faja on. though I have taken a bit of a break here and there from it.

I know this is not really going to get answers but maybe someone might have some insight. I have lifelong chronic illness and disability. A challenge is being sensitive to medications and side effects and having allergic reactions (my list of antibiotics I am allergic to is growing) It started with Umbilical area pain that radiated upward to the right shoulder blade area like spasms. Admittedly I am also dealing with diverticulitis issues, bleeding and pain I'm not sure the source as well as Interstitial cystitis. My gastric bypass surgery inadvertently revealed a form of neurological dysphagia I have difficulty drinking thin liquids. landing in hospital with aspiration pneumonia a day after I got home, I found out that was why. started before surgery but I didnt know why I was having difficulty drinking water. normally i could chug it no issues. For a while I had trouble with eating which turned out to be stricture. I had history of ulcers prior to my gastric bypass surgery. and they found it afterward as well. I had dilations. and eating got a bit easier I just had to be careful what types of foods I ate. But then some weeks back it got really bad I found myself feeling sick just taking nibbles of my lunch. I always meal plan daily and prepare portion control sizes so I know how much calories and protein I am getting and what my portion is so its never too much for my pouch. But Id get partway through nibbling slowly and at times depending what Im eating Id just have to stop. and then feel the need to throw up but cant at times heaving but only a thick mucus comes up. I saw my general practitioner and had a CT scan and bloodwork. I also made some appointments. She told me to see my Bariatric surgeon. I had to wait until just recently to have a Endoscopy. I am just frustrated. because the CT scan showed Hepatic Steatosis. My one liver level is high it was not high when I was losing weight. Only when it was stable already. I did not have fatty liver prior to surgery. But they want to assume I did and that no one told me. But that's something they check for because its a co-morbidity! Also my gallbladder was checked at the time it had to be removed due to chronic inflammation. People have gastric bypass to get rid of fatty liver ... I have only read of maybe a rare case of liver disease post surgery. Anyway. back in June I had a enteroscopy to check the remnant portion of stomach and dilation. no mention of ulcer then. I have trouble with proton pump inhibitors not working and they just seem to deplete my vitamin levels too much. plus trigger my migraines. Ive had ulcers go away without the PPI and gotten ulcers while on them so they just dont seem effective. Then there is carafate. one side effect is constipation and with diverticulitis I cant afford that especially since the CT also showed inflammation and narrowing of my colon ... and I am trying to get iron and even the supposed non constipating kind in my whole foods based multivitamin is throwing my system off. so I had the Endoscopy this month and it showed Jejunal ulcer so the doctor just prescribes proton pump inhibitor and carafate (my insurance decided to not pay for carafate) but what other options are there besides these? and what could be causing the ulcers if Im not taking motrin or similar meds even though I do need them. Ulcer at the junction between the pouch and small intestine can happen in the first months post op and common treatment is PPI and carafate but not nearly two years out. Hard to believe April will be two years ... my gut keeps telling me its issue with my remnant stomach. perhaps even with the staples used. but I dont know how to get answers. I have seen when these things dont work doctors do a surgical revision of some kind. my surgeon is great but yet he seems to address it as it too simply and its not that simple anymore. Also I cant figure out the fatty liver aka hepatic statosis and the high ALT (liver enzymes) they assumed it was high before but no not really. Also I had blood transfusions in June and the levels went down due to the transfusion but then went back up again. so one would assume if it had to do with the weight loss the levels would have stayed down. I cant sort out what move to take next. I kind of sat on this post a while and didnt post it. I still hesitate. I know its probably not something anyone can answer. I am just getting frustrated. I am also retaining fluid in my abdomen along with a lot of pain.

Looking great @ChubRub my drain was in longer than most. I didnt bother hiding it when I went out 🤣 which wasnt all that often. I even have of tohose belt things with a pocket for it but never used it. I took my drain out myself when it was time. We waited until the output was low enough. I was surprised I only had the one drain for three surgeries.

@ms.sss Honestly I researched them endlessly to buy one but couldn't budget it in I get emails with deals and this happened to be in one of them just recently its one of the best I have seen of the bed wedges since its adjustable and also a cooling memory foam.

I was not very good at keeping measurements pre and post op. I did probably lose and inch to an inch and a half in my waist, my hips like 1.5" also my underbust area is smaller my bust gained 2" projection Id say? yet my overall weight did go up a little bit post op. perhaps mainly due to some challenges Im having. sometimes its reasonable I mean for the most part except after some recent tests its below my goal. sorry. Im tired. I wanted to buy a bed wedge I never did for the foot of the bed or whatever I rolled up a weighted blanket I had and propped a pillow on that but this might be something you might be interested in https://www.amazon.com/Cooling-Bed-Wedge-Pillow-Adjustable/dp/B088C4Q3JP/ref=sr_1_43?dchild=1&keywords=Gel+Firm+Memory+Foam+Standard+Wedge+Pillow&qid=1611353815&sr=8-43 I got some good bras on Amazon as well. keep wearing the Faja. I wear mine to bed. And do try the Turmeric and also limit salt intake for a bit. Hopefully the swelling will come down. maybe you need some massage with some oils. One nice thing about the Hospital BC I got lymphatic massage each day I was there. Couldnt have it at home but I think it helped. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SG5H8KF/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_4?smid=ARDJXY8HB6KO5&psc=1

Now I remember, my Mom knows someone in Naples - I bet you have some beautiful nature preserves by you. The one and only thing I love about Florida is the wildlife. Especially the birds. Love at first sight! I just had a little 15X zoom panasonic Lumix but I tried. I remember seeing the Roseate Spoonbill the first time just a splotch of pink in a tree at night. But I do love alligators, lizards, butterflies, dragonflies ... I can live without invasive insects though now thats a story I wont get into. We came in 2012 for a visit and basically never left 🤣 we were staying in my mother's brother's condo for a while. circumstances had it that my Mom had opportunity to move here and I did not want her to let it go, but in order to afford living here we had to move in together. Long story. I had to pack and put in a single small moving unit (I forget what its called) our two apartments. well at least we were already neighbors ... anything we couldnt bring I had to give up to family or donate. like my brand new IKEA couch (thats how unplanned it was) I go off on Tangents too much 😂 I hope you are keeping comfortable and your incisions are healing well. Try taking turmeric gummies for the swelling. If you can find Garden of Life brand I liked that one best. Its my favorite multi vitamin as well. Not always in my budget though but its the best. since its whole food based. I also took a lot of collagen (still do) along with a hair, skin, nails gummy vitamin. there is a Biocell chew that has collagen and turmeric too.

I just read that a few times because that is the month I had my gastric bypass surgery ... around Easter I was in a bad place my birthday was coming around and the weight was piling on despite every effort to fight it ... I did not think the surgery was going to happen I found out a week before it was scheduled April 29th 2019 and now I cannot believe April this year will be two years??? Has it already been eight months since I had plastics? I am not good with tracking time ... June 14 2020. I still have not worn a swimsuit officially but with the whole Covid thing I havent gone to the pool here and I have chemical sensitivities and not sure I wanted to risk my sensitive skin with chlorine ... I wish they would do salt water pools but they would never convert them ... they are shared pools per condo association. My Mom goes swimming as often as is possible. sorry your post got me thinking (thats dangerous!) probably for the best not to be too active right now. and thankfully the humidity is not too bad right now. took a while for me to be able to venture out for a walk around the nature preserves I love.

even non surgery I cant find that! I had a tough time with position, I mainly ended up on my back with pillows under my head and propping up my lower legs as much as I could while shifting my hips to take some pressure off and sometimes shoving something either rolled up towel or small pillow to try to take some pressure off my backside. I could not get comfortable sleeping on my side with the implants and read its best to sleep on your back awhile so they settle in place. Even now I find myself on my back when normally I sleep on one side or the other. Though honestly I just naturally toss and turn a lot so post surgery being stuck in one position was tough. The fact that you are getting good sleep is excellent. You do want to sleep in bed with your head elevated somewhat with pillows it has to do with the implants settling into position. I had so many areas tugging against eachother It made it a challenge to sleep especially after my T incision on my thigh lift opened ... I had to let it air out and dry sans Faja for a little while then secondary wound healing. but now its as if that didnt happen ... honestly its just about time and patience. @ChubRub Where in Florida are you?

@ChubRub I'm sad I feel so bad I missed that your surgery date came up but it makes me so happy for you that its happened and now the road to healing starts. You look absolutely awesome even with swelling the results are fab! I was thinking about you and for the life of me could not remember the date and here it passed. I had 200cc implants I did wonder if I had gone big enough to fill all the loose sagging skin thats all I had left. I had sagging skin of a 90 year old. I get it. and such a relief to have it gone. I see you got a recliner. I just had my bed, a step stool to get up and a bunch of pillows. I used a blowdryer to dry off my incisions after my showers before getting into the Faja. I didnt have much sun exposure these past months since surgery and most of my incisions are now looking pretty well healed just a few dark areas. I used a wound care wash I bought on Amazon after showers that helped a lot. (before drying off) and a propolis, silver, tea tree cream (dont know the name it wasnt in english) I havent checked around often my desktop had problems I ended up having to replace it and waiting on it is taking a while. I had a tablet but dont right now and I dont even have a cell phone (well just a old one not a smart phone I need to replace but not sure what im doing there) i using my moms old laptop for the moment. and things are just out of whack with me. sorry Im so out of the loop here. But you do look amazing!

I have Marena Faja,a bodysuit that has hooks and then an open area at the bottom. They did not fit me properly at Hospital so I ended up getting some on eBay which thankfully I found a nice seller that had to dig through old stock and found some 2XS 🤣 I was between two sizes in the waist so went by thigh measurement and that worked it fits better. the opening is large enough to kind of shift it out of the way if need be but I still unhook partway and pull it down when I need to go. I might unhook the bottom three hooks and shift it a bit to pee in a pinch. I tend to wear dresses for the most part but since Im home and unable to work i toss off the dress if I think I need to do anything significant in the bathroom 😂 But I would say this type of Faja has more room for that and is more comfortable than just a binder. I have legs on mine that stop a few inches above knee since I had thigh lift. I have not had issue. the more fitted it is the more comfortable since it doesnt shift around. You do get used to the routine of it. I have two size XS Marena for whomever can use them. check the size chart. Im trying to figure out when i need to wean off wearing the thigh compression but cant afford the bikini length faja and dont know if what I have can be cut shorter. or just to wear a waist trainer. I got one free with a bra I bought for giving a review on Amazon. I did get a step two (no hooks but have not tried it yet) I have no difficulty getting my Faja on so either its still loose on me or I just am used to doing it ... at the moment my weight is a bit higher than I want but I had several tests in a row two involving contrast and needing steroid premedication for allergy so Im just uncomfortably swollen but the Faja fits ... sorry for the ramble. Edit: forgot the Link https://marena.com/collections/womens-post-surgical-girdles/products/sfbhs-compression-girdle

I think the vitamins can be confusing, at least to me. I studied Holistic health and nutrition and I understand it but not when it comes to my own blood test results 🤣 I have taken whole foods based vitamins since my gastric bypass surgery April 29th 2019. My vitamin levels have done well. my previously very low vitamin D even before surgery actually normalized. my Iron levels are within the normal range I try to get it from the whole foods based vitamin and food even the gentle iron supplement that claim no constipation cause severe constipation and I have too much problems for that. what is extremely low is my Ferritin. I am not sure it correlates with iron deficiency or is as simple as iron supplements. I know my hormones must be whacked since I went into surgical menopause after having my last ovary removed due to endometriosis. as well as existing metabolic disorders. but my doctor and my surgeon just assume it is that simple to just take iron. but my levels stay the same. and of course say speak to the nutritionist. but I could not afford an appointment since its no longer covered I paid for a set amount of visits they wanted the same amount for one appointment that it cost for what I needed to have before my surgery and the post op visits. I have a endoscopy today. so Im a bit distracted. Sorry I cant answer your question. It just seems to vary so much between each person.

you all are too nice. thank you 😏 Honestly the last I was this weight was probably when I was a kid, even 9 or 10 Id say. And I always had body issues. I appreciate the feedback. Having plastics felt like it solidified my weight loss journey even though I still feel challenged to keep it up. And funny I get comments from my doctors as if Im too skinny now 🤣 Im only 5' i still feel like the fat kid. But Im grateful to have come this far. and wish the best for everyone else on this journey too.

I had a Belt Lipectomy/ butterfly lift with stomach muscle tightening, augmentation and thigh lift. My worst areas were excessive loose crepey sagging skin of the butt area and even more so my thigh area. I should have kept my own before pictures of how bad it was but I was so ashamed. I did let the surgeon share my before pictures but its hard to truly see how bad it was before. for me it was worth the scars. I had a T incision due to how much sagging skin so a incision in the groin area T shape and down the inner thigh. I only wish it had gone to my knees otherwise I have no regrets. I had some issues with the incision healing in the T Incision area but its now healed fine. I have many chronic health issues which made it a challenge so a healthy person fares better of course. Also having a lower BMI and making sure your blood work is healthy (the surgeon checks these things) helps the healing process. I took Turmeric, collagen, vitamin c, biotin (extra) and extra protein and made sure not to push too hard while healing. Im not on my own computer I had problems and had to replace it but its going to take a while for me to get a replacement. my photos are on a solid state drive. I took pictures of my scar progress. In all honesty for me it was a huge difference. I didnt have a lot to remove but it was all loose skin. I would do it again definitely. some people I see have it they dont have alot of skin but they seem to remove fat along with it for me it was about horrid excess skin. It was a challenge also having the Belt Lipectomy which is basically a body lift procedure. Along with the thigh lift. You have areas high tension that the incisions hold together and these can open. There is risk with anything. Basically if it does open the best course of action is secondary wound healing. using Bactigras and keeping it dry and bandaged until it heals and closes on its own. I had some challenges. But I think its mainly my chronic illness that made it challenging. my surgeon made sure I was good for surgery and made sure I was aware of possible things that could come up and I was prepared. My thigh Lift T incision opened but now you cant tell. to me its just a scar and still better than it was before. My body lift I had incision open at the coccyx that also is very common. its a high pressure point. some of my scar areas are so light though, it surprises me. I dont regret that either since my backside was the worst absolute worst. My body and skin felt like 90 years old. I mean i still do. because of my health issues but at least my body isnt sagging anymore! do I see some little things like my calves and backs of my knees and excess skin under my arms yes. but Im grateful I had my surgeries. I am ... I think seven months out from surgery. I had it June 14th. I braved putting on a swimsuit. Just not in public yet. but Ill look for the picture maybe share it here. Im not a fan of myself. I didnt do it for cosmetics but for the physical effects and yes also how it made me feel. I wish I were better at explaining. I tend to write too much. I havent been around Im dealing with some health issues. every time I go to write a post to discuss it I delete it. Thigh lift is a challenging surgery but for me it was something I needed to do. I was so scared when I thought it might not happen. and grateful my surgeon helped it happen. so no regrets here. I am not a fan of sharing pictures sorry I dont have my before. My surgery pictures are on the Hospital BC Facebook Group. probably not the best pictures. My One side the scar is darker because that is my "bad side" medically. I dont remember if I shared other pictures here. I do have other pictures on my portable hard drive some very graphic scar pictures. Ive had so many surgeries in my life the scars dont phase me. I guess Ill say again its still better than all that loose, wrinkled and sagging skin. It helps the weight loss journey feel like i made goal. Im still working on body dysmorphia that likely wont change. but the sagging skin gone is something I dont regret.

I've not posted in a while but People on the Autism spectrum also have higher rates of issues with food and weight and metabolism and digestive disorders. But I don't think I'd be on a forum specific to Autism even though I am on the spectrum. I also live with lifelong chronic illness and disability, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, many medical conditions including pcos, adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia ... is it necessary to have a forum specific to these or to just focus the weight loss journey itself? Men and women might have some different caloric and protein needs and also based on age and current weight (example calculating protein intake based on weight) but otherwise the weight loss journey itself is similar for everyone. Unless it's specific medical conditions for example I literally am unable to exercise without causing physical symptoms and damage. So I have to adapt how I do things. But we all still share a similar path. I answer only because you seem to think that if someone says why, that somehow means they feel threatened or upset by your question. In the grand scheme of things it's just not a big part of the weight loss journey. The subject isn't taboo it can be discussed any time. But doesn't play much of a role in why we are here.

I struggled with my weight so much of my life that I wasn't a healthy weight for my height since I was probably 9 or 10 which is kind of when thing should went south anyway. I was sick from when I was a baby but things changed then. Of course hitting puberty didn't help. I got bullied growing up including my sister. And things I don't discuss on public forums. But I will say body dismorphia is a tough one. Especially when you never knew where you fit and never really did fit in anywhere. Or never perceived myself as anything but the fat kid. Or ugly kid. Never saw myself as feminine either. Ive worn clothes I hadn't like dresses. I tried on a bathing suit, but not in public yet. Every moment it's still a struggle of seeing the fat kid, feeling like the fat kid and being afraid to be that again. So getting comments about my weight even someone saying the word skinny it sets something off. I have no pictures but one from my birthday right before my gastric bypass surgery April last year. That's how much I hated pictures. My mom had to beg me to take a picture recently ... i took a picture of myself in the swimsuit to convince myself I could wear it but it felt weird. Like sharing the pictures I shared here. It's hard to not fear our efforts will be lost. And it's a continuous journey. Though my road is complicated by many things. We try to prop each other up the best we can.