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2 hours ago, Jonsie27 said:

I'm also not planning on compromising on some of this. "That's just the way society works" ..... are not good enough.

But the thing is ... that is how society is. You're not going to change society. IMO, you should strive to accept it. You don't have to like it, or even be ok wth it, but is is futile to be angry about something you cannot affect.

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When I lost weight before I was down to a 18 and I looked really good ! People were complicating me and I felt good !! My now ex husband never made a comment or statement 🙄 This is my 3rd time going for the surgery ! I think the first 2 were because every dr said I needed it ! I have Epilepsy with uncontrollable seizures and the last 2 times my seizures stopped my surgery! This time I want it for me and for making me happy and healthy!! The sad thing is yes I’m really fat and people are judging me from that ! If I was skinny I would be noticed more ! Society is not fair but life only happens once and I had a crappy 25 years and I want the next chapter to be wonderful!!!!

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You know what I though was crazy, when I did my mental evaluation, the lady says:

" you will get more interviews, and your sex life with increase"

I thought that was just crazy. Why would you say that? And no I'm not getting interviews left and right, even though I have an incredible amount of experience. It's been hard to find a job over the last 3 months- I was let go when I went out for bypass conversion. Out of no where. Over 270 applications, maybe 15-20 interview. 3 offers. I have an interview Thursday and I'm praying it happens, I'm dying to get back in a clinical setting .

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6 hours ago, Mj77803 said:

" you will get more interviews, and your sex life with increase"

This sex life thing didn't happen to me as well, lol.

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On 6/7/2019 at 9:29 PM, Jonsie27 said:

I'm 1 year 2 months post op and have lost 115lbs which is awesome. I have more energy and can do more things with my daughter, I'm in clothing sizes I have never worn! I should be the happiest I've ever been, but I have a mindset I feel is holding me back. This may seem ungrateful, but I'm ANGRY I'm treated differently now that I've lost weight. It's like I was invisible (or worse- gross) when I weighed 286 but now people notice me just because of what I look like and it PISSES ME OFF.I was all the things that make me ME before I lost weight and now it's like a revelation that I'm worthwhile somehow. All of this positive feedback would have been awesome when my self-esteem was in the toilet from being depressed and overweight.

-My husband wants to tell me I look cute and wants to have more sex - and my 1st thought is why didn't you do this before?

-People who wouldn't give me the time of day at work tell me my ideas are great - and I think, they were good before, why didn't you speak up then?

-My family tells me nice things about myself and my clothes - I cant stop thinking about how I could have used this support BEFORE.

Has this happened to anyone else? What do I do to move past this? Should I see a therapist? I don't want to be ungrateful...

Great post and i get where you are coming from. I haven't had surgery yet and I am experiencing all the things you say about happened to you pre-op. Girl, that is me and I am pre-op. I have been job hunting for a year and still haven't gotten an offer. My ideas get overlooked at work but yet I get glowing EOY reviews. I say stay strong and yes therapy. I am seeing a therapist now talking about how I get treated now as a larger person that when I was a size 12. So frustrating!

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1 hour ago, Chardonnay40 said:

Great post and i get where you are coming from. I haven't had surgery yet and I am experiencing all the things you say about happened to you pre-op. Girl, that is me and I am pre-op. I have been job hunting for a year and still haven't gotten an offer. My ideas get overlooked at work but yet I get glowing EOY reviews. I say stay strong and yes therapy. I am seeing a therapist now talking about how I get treated now as a larger person that when I was a size 12. So frustrating!

I have the same issues with getting interviews and I'm almost 2 years post sleeve and 100lbs lighter. It's crazy. I have 2 interviews tomorrow so I guess I'll see how that goes.

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