Why is it that when people have been successful at something ie: losing weight with the band, they become the judge and jury of any person who is now coming up behind them. They seem to self proclaim themselves as 'better' than the 'others', in an elite group and in some instances more virtuous than the rest of us. What makes succeeding in weight loss the holy grail, and thus the people who achieve it more perfect, more intelligent and more entitled to an opinion? In my opinion it appears to have made people more obnoxious and self rightious,not to mention condescending.

But as I have not yet attained the 'holy-weight-loss-I-am-without-fault-and-know-everything' badge my opinion probably doesn't count.:faint:

Then there are just some of the other replys that well.....maturity isn't that first word that springs to mind.

I never claimed to be mature. Nor do I ever want to be if I have to take myself seriously all the time.

I dont quite get you. You post a rather inflammatory question and then you say that you meant superior in terms of newbies not being allowed to view the R&R but the way you're talking definitely makes it sound like you mean exactly what I initially thought you meant and reacted to- that you're fed up with oldies who've lost all their weight thinking they're all that.

Actually, there's quite a few points in Green's post that I can identify with. I've not been a perfect bandster by any stretch of the imagination and I've often said the first six months were so easy, I lost so much weight without even having to try, it just fell off. Since then I've had to battle. But I've never dieted, I dont count calories, I dont count protein, I eat what I want when I want and its just, well, worked. I run lots becuase I bloody love running, not because I've got superior willpower and determination. I've never said otherwise. I've been really lucky becuase I"ve lost weight on about 1500 calories a day, so its certainly been easier for me than it has for others.

I've certainly learned a few things along the way and I've shared them. But I can think of about a thousand posts where I've mentioned my pretty slack and easygoing approach to weightloss and where I've told people that a binge is just that, and that you can simply get back on the wagon, but dont waste time beating yourself up over it.

I just dont really understand what it is you're getting at. So you think oldies do think they're superior and that gets up your nose? Or you dont? If you do, I really dont think you've read enough of this forum.

What I first posted (and yes sometimes I do go around in circles) I was annoyed and pissy at a group of more experienced people (this is probably what I should have said rather than those that had lost all their weight - bit of a snap judgement) who thought it was their right (almost duty) to pull this piss out of newbies and treat us like we were misbehaved children who could be talked down to and sarcastically blown off - thus my reason for the 'superior' attitude. In reading back over my post I can see how it looked like I was attacking those who had lost weight but it was more (well suppose to be) a rant about those with experience who thought it was acceptable to treat those newer bandies like a joke.

Many experienced people on this site you included have wonderful advice but there are some who would rather criticsim and judge and they were the ones I was pissed at. I am genuinely sorry for generlising and lumping all successful losers in together cause some of you rock. Next time I will use the filter between filter and fingers before I type.

I never claimed to be mature. Nor do I ever want to be if I have to take myself seriously all the time.

What makes you think I was talking about you...I never mentioned who - I guess working with primary school children all day and not taking myself or others seriously I try and grasp for any shread of maturity in the rest of my life - maybe this site is not good place for that.

PS: Before any more PM attacks about this comment I mean it all in good humor!!

What I first posted (and yes sometimes I do go around in circles) I was annoyed and pissy at a group of more experienced people (this is probably what I should have said rather than those that had lost all their weight - bit of a snap judgement) who thought it was their right (almost duty) to pull this piss out of newbies and treat us like we were misbehaved children who could be talked down to and sarcastically blown off - thus my reason for the 'superior' attitude. In reading back over my post I can see how it looked like I was attacking those who had lost weight but it was more (well suppose to be) a rant about those with experience who thought it was acceptable to treat those newer bandies like a joke.

Many experienced people on this site you included have wonderful advice but there are some who would rather criticsim and judge and they were the ones I was pissed at. I am genuinely sorry for generlising and lumping all successful losers in together cause some of you rock. Next time I will use the filter between filter and fingers before I type.

I don't think I have actually seen anyone directly treated like you describe (feel free to link me to a post where it has actually happened if it indeed has)

I know that there have been playful threads where very tired questions get thrown about, and silly answers given... But I am yet to see anyone treat a newbie like they were a child.

What makes you think I was talking about you...I never mentioned who - I guess working with primary school children all day and not taking myself or others seriously I try and grasp for any shread of maturity in the rest of my life - maybe this site is not good place for that.

PS: Before any more PM attacks about this comment I mean it all in good humor!!

Maybe the "Someone" shit is wearing a wee bit thin? If you don't want people thinking that you really DO think that the "Oldies" who have got to goal are obnoxious, condescending and self righteous, perhaps you should say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Because it is sounding more and more like your first post was your true feeling on the subject.

And I do hope you are not trying to say that *I* have been PM'ing you with attacks... Because I have never PM'd you, or anyone else in an aggressive manner.

Maybe the "Someone" shit is wearing a wee bit thin? If you don't want people thinking that you really DO think that the "Oldies" who have got to goal are obnoxious, condescending and self righteous, perhaps you should say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Because it is sounding more and more like your first post was your true feeling on the subject.

And I do hope you are not trying to say that *I* have been PM'ing you with attacks... Because I have never PM'd you, or anyone else in an aggressive manner.

Whatever...I have had my rant and I am over it. I know what I meant and in the end it was to get something off my chest (see meaning of rant in dictionary). And hard to believe I know but my posts are not all about you. Had my say, made my sorrys, live and let live and all that.

So THAT'S the maturity you were crapping on about? Sweet.

Me thinks you did mean the first post the way it sounded. Thanks for clearing that up.

I would LOVE to see where newbie's have been attacked like you claim though.

And for future reference. Everything is about me. You haven't been around that long have you? (pats Beka on the head) Run along now love.

What makes you think I was talking about you...I never mentioned who - I guess working with primary school children all day and not taking myself or others seriously I try and grasp for any shread of maturity in the rest of my life - maybe this site is not good place for that.

PS: Before any more PM attacks about this comment I mean it all in good humor!!

Many of us meant our comments in good humor too, but you continue to refer to a maturity issue.

Is it possible that you are expecting more of others than you are from yourself?

I think some old timers (whether they are at goal or not) have learned to laugh at ourselves and with each other. We aren't quite as serious and touchy as some are in the beginning. Some people look at this journey as a medical issue and others look at it as a journey.

I'd rather have fun with it than look at it as a clinical issue that is all serious and ... clinical-y than having a bit of fun.

I feel as though if you don't lighten up a bit you aren't going to have the best journey possible. So much is attitude. If you are serious, negative, looking to pick bones, etc., you have one long challenge ahead of you. If you take yourself and others a little more lightly and have some fun, it makes things so much easier.

All in all I do believe you are demanding more of others than you are of yourself. I honestly don't mean that in a pissy way. We all do it from time to time.

When I first came to this site I had the typical questions we all had (what is a pb, etc) and I found answers to all of them in the FAQ section on this board. I think it would be helpful if LBT had new folks scroll through that before they are able to post, just as you would have to agree to TOS.

Having said that; once you do interact with others on the board just as in life you need to separate out what is crap and what is of value. Who is being more supportive, someone who tells you it’s not that bad that you didn’t follow your post op diet or someone who explains why it is important and maybe even puts a little fear into you so that you don’t mess up again as WASa did in a post linked to earlier in this thread. Would you rather have a friend who let you walk around with a piece of broccoli in your teeth or one who would tell you about it even though that would be more uncomfortable for both of you? For every post answered on this board there are a lot more that just get read. I wonder how many newbies are hurt by so many people posting pseudo supportive stuff that is crap just because it’s easy for them to say and I also wonder how many folks were about to make a mistake and then read WASa’s post and it stopped them.

This all came about because someone took comments out of the RnR thread and put it in the November 07 thread... we couldn't help but see it then. I think that most people who come onto this site are anxious and excited and aren't always computer literate, so of course they think wow I've found a site that can help me through all this. They ask the same questions over and over, they post where they shouldn't... so what, ignore them rather than bitch about them... just as you are telling us newbies to ignore any tongue in check comments you guys make about us. Why does it have to be such a big issue? I say move on and talk about more worthwhile issues... us "newbies" aren't worth all this aggravated energy.

I agree. I think this thread should just die.

Those of us who have had our bands for awhile now don't feel superior. We really do want everyone to succeed with their weight loss. Most of all,

we want everyone to follow their doctor's advice and not try to eat when

they are supposed to be on a post op diet. If their doctor didn't give

them good instructions, and they come here for advice, we don't mind

giving it. We do mind when they ask for our advice but then still want

to do things that are known to cause problems.

I understand that it must be hard to read posts from people who are not following their doctors' instructions, even I find that a little frustrating to read but these people still need help, more so than most. If they don't listen to your advice, then move on... it really is not your issue. I am thankful that I have had a really good run since my op. I've been doing everything I've been told by my doctor and have lost 9kgs (19lbs) in 3 weeks to boot. Can't complain ! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Whatever...I have had my rant and I am over it. I know what I meant and in the end it was to get something off my chest (see meaning of rant in dictionary). And hard to believe I know but my posts are not all about you. Had my say, made my sorrys, live and let live and all that.

Maturity is in the eye of the beholder! Some may say the same about you going off on a rant about "oldies".